My Red Eyed Guardian Angel
by Wolfen Artist of HetaStuck
Summary: 10 years after his parent's deaths Matthew is in pain, he cuts, but when he begins to contemplate ending it all will his new silver haired classmate be able to save him Rated T for blood, self-harm, attempted suicide, Gilbert's mouth, and because Carlos and Ivan are evil.
1. Chapter 1: The Pains of My Past

Ok so this is chapter one of an ongoing fan fiction. Not really sure where I wanna go with this but give me reviews and tell me what you think and I look forward to hearing what you guys think. Hopefully your guys reviews and advice on what I should do with this.

Warning: This fan fiction includes self-harm, thoughts of suicide, angst, depression, suicide, sexual harassment, and PruCan possible fluffiness and yaoi in later chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. All rights belong to Hidakez Himaruya

Well here I go. Enjoy ^-^

I need release. I know that I shouldn't be doing this but it's the only way I know to get my release which right now I need so desperately.

I've been doing it for several years now and I don't I could take it if my parents or brother found out. Not that they will. They haven't paid me much attention in the past few years.

I've never been noticed much by anyone and when people do notice me it's usually they mistake me for my brother or for something bad, like beat me up. I don't know how, but bullies seem to have some kind of sixth sense or something that allows then to sniff out someone weak.

Anyway I digress. I should probably tell you what my way to get release is. Before I tell you that so you can judge me, I want to explain to you why it is that I need it.

When I was a little kid, I had a good life and a good family. I had a mom, a dad, and an older cousin who my parents had taken in after his parents, my father's twin brother and his wife had died in a car accident before I was born. He was about eight years my elder and we got along well. I was happy, that was…until I was five years old.

When I was five years old, my father died when the twin towers were hit by airplanes on 9/11. After my dad's death, my mom became very depressed. She didn't pay attention to me or my cousin anymore. My cousin took full advantage of this. He began to become meaner and started to treat me meanly. At the time around five or six months before my sixth birthday he began to touch me in strange ways. He would touch me between my legs and would kiss me on my neck and chest, never on the lips. They were harsh and were often more like bites that would leave marks and bruises on my skin. He would do this often my mother never noticed a thing. He never went all the way though. He only touched me or rubbed me, sometimes making me touch him back. I never told anybody about it because he told me that if I did then he would push me off the roof. I wouldn't learn until several years later that what he was doing to me was sexual harassment. I didn't know at the time because I was too young to know what sex was.

This was when I began to become invisible. My mother never noticed anything that was going on and my cousin only paid attention to me when he was harassing me. To me the only thing I could go to for support and to feel needed was an old, worn out stuffed bear. I had been given the bear as a baby by my parents and its name was Kumijirou. It was the only thing I knew to turn to when I was sad.

On the night of my sixth birthday I went to my mother's bedroom to say goodnight and found her corpse hanging from the ceiling fan. She'd left a paper on which was written:

I can't take it any longer I cannot stand being apart from my beloved for one moment longer. Matthew, I love you so much and I hope you will be able to be happy.

When the police were investigating they say my bruises and bite marks that my cousin had given to me. They made me tell them where they'd come from. I'd told them everything he'd been doing to me wondering why they wanted they wanted to know about it. I must have looked strange to the police officer, a small, frail six year old, who'd found his mother's corpse only an hour or two before clutching a stuffed polar bear in his nightgown talking about how my cousin sexually harassed him like it was as normal as playing a game of hide and seek. I was still too young to know that the things my cousin had done to me were sexual other than knowing that it was weird and that I didn't like it.

I was taken from my cousin then with the promise that he would never be able to hurt me again and placed into a foster home until a couple who had known my parents adopted me. They were a nice couple who had a son my age. Their names were Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnafoy, yeah they're both guys, and their son's name was Alfred F. Jones.

Even after they took me in I was still ignored. It's like I'm invisible to everyone except the bullies at school. Even Arthur and Alfred forget me from time to time. When I was eleven it was too much for me. I had come home after a really awful day at school. Ivan, the school bully, had cornered me and had beaten me until I had bruises on my ribs and on my cheek. I'd run past Arthur who was reading the newspaper in the kitchen and went to their room in search of Francis who was always kind to me but was halfway there when I had remembered that he was gone on a business trip for three more days. I didn't want Arthur to see my bruises until I'd come up with a legitimate excuse for where I'd gotten the bruise on my eye. I'd just hide the bruises on my ribs until they healed.

After realizing that Francis wasn't there I ran striate to my room and locked the door. I fell on my bed grabbing Kumijirou and started sobbing. However no matter how much I cried the pain in my heart over the emptiness caused by the sorrow of being so invisible and ignored never stopped or eased like it normally did. Normally if I would just cry to myself for a while then the pain would go away but not that time. I had searched around my room for something that would make my pain go away.

I had seen my school project on my art desk that Francis had bought me recently. Hoping that it would help distract me from my pain I began to work on it. I started cutting colored paper into different shapes to glue down on the poster. However the work did nothing to help me as I continued to sob. My eyes blurred with tears and my vision became fuzzy from the moisture when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in the palm of my hand. I wiped my eyes, cringing with pain; I looked at my hand to inspect the damage. I saw a thin red trail of blood dripping from my palm where I'd accidently cut my hand with the scissors.

As I had looked at my palm I had realized that the pain in my heart had eased somewhat. Curious, I'd pulled the sleeve of my hoodie up to my elbow. I had placed the blade of the scissors on my forearm taking care to avoid the big veins and applied pressure as I had slid the blade horizontally across the skin on my arm. Another line of blood had formed on my arm as I felt the pain in my chest ease even more.

About an hour later, I emerged from the bathroom. My sleeves pulled down, covering bandages on my forearms, under which had lay six or seven cuts on each arm. That's how it had all begun.

Now five years later I'm in the same bedroom, ready to repeat the action that I have done countless times since that day because I never release.

My name is Matthew Williams, I'm sixteen years old. I'm the adopted some of Francis Bonnafoy and Arthur Kirkland, adopted brother of Alfred F. Jones. I enjoy hockey, making pancakes, and maple syrup. I'm Canadian, a junior in high school, no one ever notices me, I'm practically invisible, and I have been cutting myself almost daily for five years.


	2. Chapter 2:  The Pains of My Present

Hey! Did you guys miss me!

To my readers: Thank you so much to all of you guys for adding this to your story alerts and favorites and to the few people who did review. You guys have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you so much you guys. I read every review and replied to each one.

I'm super sorry that it's been a long time since I've updated this. I have the chapters written to halfway through chapter 5. I have just been super busy and basically just too lazy to sit down at a computer and type it up. My new beta also has been really busy with the school musical, and she hasn't been able to review it that quickly, however I'll be updating this story as often as I can. Thanks a ton for being so patient. Now I'll finish blabbing your ear off and get on with the story.

Disclaimer- Unfortunately, Hetalia does not belong to me. If it did, there would be way more Prussia, and the rating is subject to change KESESESESESE but anyway Blah Blah Blah I own nothing except the story itself.

Here you are Chapter 2

Enjoy_ ^-^_

I wake up with a groan. I had the nightmare again. It's not uncommon for me to have this night mare; I have it almost every night. In the dream, I'm chained to a wall with my arms above my head. The room is of cold concrete with no windows and a single door directly across from me. The door opens and in walks my cousin and Ivan. Ivan proceeds to beat me while my cousin touches me sexually, like he did when I was little. He's never fully raped me in my dreams, but he has come close. I always wake up before he has the chance. I always thrash around in my dream, trying to fight them off to no avail. Ivan holds me down while my cousin proceeds to do with me what he wishes.

When I was younger, before I met Ivan, the dream would only contain my cousin. I would wake up screaming, and Arthur and Francis would come running to my bedside. Francis would gather my tiny body, shaking with fear, into his arms and hold me close, stroking my hair. He would sway back and forth and sometimes sing a small lullaby in French to calm me down as Arthur would rub my back and speak to me in a soothing voice.

When I had stopped crying, Arthur would kiss the top of my head gently and ask me what my dream had been about. Since I was still afraid that if I told anyone what my cousin had done to me that he would push me off the roof, I would just say that bad people had been hurting me. He and Francis would share a knowing look. Both of them had been told when they adopted me about what had happened, so they knew what I was talking about. Arthur would then pat my head and tell me that everything was okay, and that he and Francis would never let anyone hurt me again. Alfred would chime in that he would protect me too, running up to us from where he'd been standing at the door, having been woken up by my crying.

Then I'd smile and thank them. Arthur would kiss my head and take Alfred back to bed. Francis would stay with me until I feel back asleep. Some nights, when the dream had been particularly bad and I couldn't fall asleep afterward, he would take me downstairs for a warm glass of milk with a little maple syrup and cinnamon mixed in. Then, he would take me back up to my room and stay with me, singing soft lullabies in French until I was lulled back to sleep. Some mornings, I would wake up to find him still besides me, his head resting in his arms on the edge of the bed, hand still holding mine, having stayed with me all night in case I awoke again.

Well, back to the present. I awake from my nightmare in a cold sweat, giving a small cry of fear. I look at my clock. It reads 5:48 am. I only have twelve minutes until 6am, which is when I wake up normally, so I decide to get up anyway.

I swing my legs over the edge of my bed, dizzy from sitting up so quickly. I hear a knock at my door and Francis pokes his head in.

"Are you ok mon cher?" He asks, his face a little worried. "I heard you yell."

"Oui Papa. I just had a bad dream," I reply.

"Was it that dream again?" he says, his brow furrowing in worry, speaking of the dream I told you of previously. I nod my head and he sighs.

"You know that you're safe here, Mattieu. Your father and I are here for you always, and remember that you can always talk to Papa, no matter what it is," he tells me smiling. He then leaves to go downstairs to start making breakfast before Arthur can get to the kitchen first and poison us all with what is his idea of breakfast.

I slide out of bed and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm not unattractive, nor am I especially attractive. I have a lean build; not fat, nor skinny. I have pale skin with a few freckles on the bridge of my nose. My hair is blonde and frames my face in soft waves, ending an inch past my chin. All except for one curl that sticks out to the side and won't go done no matter how many hair products I try.

I try to smooth it down with my hand but it just pops back up stubbornly. I give up with a sigh and turn back to the mirror, my violet eyes staring at my reflection. What is it about me that allows people overlook me with such ease? The only times they DO notice me is when they mistake me for my brother, Alfred. I don't even look like him with his straight, blonde hair and one stubborn cowlick that always sticks up and he has affectionately named "Nantucket". He is always fawned upon by girls because of his tanned and muscled body, toned from playing football. His electric blue eyes capture you, and he always has a goofy grin on his face. His loud, obnoxious, and overly happy and eccentric demeanor always draws people towards him. He's well-liked by everybody, while I'm simply overlooked and stuck in his shadow. No one ever pays me any attention when he's around.

I sigh, getting undressed and starting the shower as a wave of sadness washes over me. I desperately feel the need for release. I grab my razor, rubbing alcohol, and my rag. I take a deep breath and place the blade against the skin of my forearm, across the many crisscrossed scars already there. I release the breath as I draw it across my skin, applying enough pressure to break through the skin, leaving a red line behind. Blood drips down my arm, and I smile as the pain in my heart eases slightly. I repeat the action until blood is flowing down my arms from a dozen or so new cuts on my arms. My heart is much lighter than before. I step into the shower, letting the water flow over my. I wince as it washes over my cuts. I wash my hair and the blood quickly and get out, drying off. I make sure to be very gentle with my new cuts. I put rubbing alcohol on them, gasping as it burns. I then bandage my arms and wrap my towel around my waist. I realize I left my robe in my room. Crap! I can't let anyone see my bandages. No one can know about my cutting. Not that anyone would care, that is. The only one that ever really remembers me is Francis, or as I affectionately call him, Papa, and he's barely ever around thanks to his job at the restaurant, where he works as head chef.

I poke my head out of the bathroom door into the hall. I can still hear snoring coming from Alfred's room, telling me that my brother has not yet awoken. I hear the sound of a shower starting from Arthur and Francis's room. I hear Papa cooking downstairs. I take a deep breath and dash into my bedroom. I close my door swiftly and lock it, holding my breath to see if anyone knocks on my door. After about a minute I release the breath. I start to get dressed, pulling on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a red hoodie from my large arsenal of them- five hoodies in total, though they are peppered with paint and small holes from being worn so often.

I grab my sketchbook from my art desk and put it in my messenger bag. I adjust my glasses and head downstairs to the kitchen. Papa is making breakfast when I get there. The smell of crêpes meets my nose, and I smile. Papa turns to greet me as I enter the kitchen.

"Bonjour, mon cher Mattieu. Est-ce que tu sens sius meilleure," he says in French. I was born and raised in Canada, in a French speaking part of the nation, so I grew up learning a mixture of French and English.

"Oui mieux merci Papa," I reply, sitting down at the table as Papa sets a plate of crêpes before me and sits next to me, placing two plates of eggs and bacon out for Alfred and Arthur.

"Are you okay Mattieu?" Francis asks me after a little while, causing me to jump a little.

"Oui Papa," I say quickly. I love Francis and he's the only one who doesn't forget me or confuse me for Alfred. He's only forgotten me twice and that was right after I can to live with him and Arthur. He's a wonderful father except that He's never at home because of his job.

"If you say so, Mattieu. I trust you, and if you say you're okay then I'll believe you. I'm just worried, because you've been having that dream much more often lately. I'm hoping that there isn't anything wrong that's causing it. I just want you to be happy, mon cher."

Oh, how I wish I could tell Francis the truth! I wish I could tell him about Ivan, the big Russian kid who bullies me on a daily basis, about how everyone's pretty much oblivious to my very existence, and how I'm overlooked; and when I'm not, it's to get beat up for something that Alfred did. How everyone overlooks me like I'm nothing more than an empty pocket of space, and how I feel like I'm invisible to the world.

However, I force a smile and say, "I'm okay, Papa. I promise."

Francis smiles, ruffles my hair, and takes our now empty plates to the dishwasher, just as a blonde blur busts into the kitchen and digs into one of the plates of eggs and bacon, polishing it off in a matter of seconds. Arthur enters the room after him quietly.

"Good morning, boys," he says sounding like he's still half- asleep. He's always this way before he has his morning coffee.

"Morning," I say as Alfred says something through a full mouth that none of us can understand.

"DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL, YOU GIT!" Arthur yells at him, whacking the blonde teen upside the head. Francis and I giggle at the cute pout on Alfred's face.

Arthur sighs and says, "You boys should get going or you'll be late for school." After glancing at the clock, I see that he's right. We only have twenty-seven minutes to make it to school, and it takes about twenty minutes to get there.

"Okay! Bye, Dad!" Alfred yells, bolting out the door and leaving me to hurry after him before he forgets about me again.

"Bye, Dad! Bye, Papa!" I call over my shoulder, scurrying out the door to Al's pick-up truck. I sit in the passenger seat and barely have enough time to buckle my seat belt before Alfred hits the gas and we're barreling down the road at god knows what speed towards the hell hole known to me as school.

Okay, so filler chapter. Still no Gilbert in this one, either I know, but I promise you that I'll introduce his awesomeness in the next one, so please don't hate me. I promise that I am not updating slowly on purpose. I have up to chapter 4 written and am working on 5 currently. It's just that whenever I have time to type it up, I'm too tired or out of it to type. Also, my beta reader, the amazing Sakura414, is in our school's musical of Les Mesirables and has literally NO free time, so it took a while before she was able to read over this.

So please forgive me for being late. I promise to try and hurry things up and be better about updating this. I'm hoping to get it around to updating it about once a week. I hope that you guys like this and that you will continue to read this.

Thank you for the amazing people who have already sent me reviews. You guys have absolutely no idea how amazing it makes me feel when you guys review my stuff. I love it. Thank you so much. I hope to get LOTs more reviews and favorites and alert ads.

O and make sure to check out my beta's account. Her username is Sakura414, and she is truly amazing and honestly she is what keeps me from going totally insane. Keep reading, please, and keep letting me know what you think. I promise you that there will be the awesome sexiness of Gilbert in the next chapter.

O almost forgot

Translations:

Bonjour mon cher Mattieu. Est-ce que tu sens sius meilleure-Hello my dear Matthew. You feeling better?

Oui mieux merci Papa-Yes much thank you Papa.

Oui-yes

Mon cher-my dear

Again please keep reading and tell me what you think. I love you guys to death. Your replies mean a lot to me so keep 'em coming. ^-^


	3. Chapter 3: Piercing Crimson, Soft Violet

Hey guys It's me again. I have decided that you guys can call me Wolf-chan because well I have a thing with wolves, kind of like Prussia's thing with birds only I don't let a wolf sit on my head. But anyway I've been working hard at typing this during my lunch period at school so that you guys could get the third chapter ASAP because I have been denying you of the smexiness of Gilbert for far too long. I really hope that you guys like this chapter and that you won't be mad at me for making you wait so long before introducing Prussia. Any who, I have continued to write this and am currently on chapter 6 and Still see no end anywhere in the near future so expect for this thing to be going for quite a while as I have not decided exactly how long this will be in the end.

Ok so thank you for being patient through my ramblings. For those of you who have simply skipped over this kudos to you. Anyway thank you so much for all of the adds and favorites you guys have given me and for all of your reviews. I read every single one of them and they mean so much to me. I hope to continue hearing form you in the future. I will shut up now and get on with the story.

Disclaimer: Almost forgot this. I don't own Hetalia. If I did I would be in heaven. I do not own any characters. If I did Prussia and Canada's vital regions would be mine!

Here you go: Chapter 3.

Enjoy ^-^

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><p>Matthew's POV<p>

As I attempt to relax on our way to school- to no avail, I might add- I let my thoughts wander.

I wonder what this year is going to be like. School started one month ago. It's been just like every other year, and it will mostly likely continue to be that way. I'll be overlooked, ignored, mistaken for Alfred, get beat up, and cut myself more. I hate being invisible. I wish someone would notice me. It's like I don't exist. I wonder if anybody would miss me if I just vanished. I've thought about ending my life before, so the idea is in no way new to me. I have never seriously considered it, however, because I know that I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I would just end up wimping out at the last second.

Al's truck pulls up to the school, so I push the thoughts to the back of my head and get out of the car. I hurry to my locker, hoping to avoid running into Ivan. I'm hurrying so quickly that I'm not paying attention to where I'm going, so Irun into someone, knocking their books down.

"Sorry," I mumble, helping gather their things, handing them over quickly, and hurrying away without looking at them. They stare at me for a moment before continuing to follow the teacher who they had been following prior to our collision.

I am able to reach my locker without any further incident. I open it and grab the books I'll need for the day. I turn around and come face to face with a large boy with bleach blonde hair and a long white scarf wrapped around his neck, who is standing over me, a terrifying smile playing on his lips.

"Previet, little one," he says, sending chills down my spine. He then shoves me back into my still open locker and shuts the door, successfully trapping me inside.

"Have a fun day, little one," I hear his ice cold voice say through the locker door. I stay still until I hear the bell for class ring and he leaves.

When I'm sure that he's gone I start to bang on my locker door yelling, "Hey is anybody out there? I'm stuck in my locker!"

After about 10 minutes I give up. Last time this happened, nobody ever heard my yelling or banging and I wasn't let out until Francis got worried when I didn't come home and went to the school to search me. He found me still stuck in there after getting shoved in there before first period. I stop my banging and just let my mind wander, pondering how long I would be stuck here this time.

Suddenly the sound of someone's voice in the hall pulls me out of my thoughts. "Hello? Is someone there?" the voice calls out, sounding like it's near the end of the hall.

I bang on the door to the locker and call out to the voice, "In here! I'm in locker number 375."

I hear the sound of boots clacking on the tile floor of the hallway towards me. The footsteps stop in front of my locker.

Someone knocks lightly on the door of my locker, and the voice asks, "This one?"

"Yes. The combination is: 8-33-15," I say before realizing that when I had been thinking earlier, I had started to cry. I quickly wipe my eyes, hoping that the fact that I had been crying isn't obvious.

I hear the turning of the lock and a click as it unlocks. The door opens and I fall out, landing in thin, leather clad, yet surprisingly strong arms, which keep my head from connecting with the ground. They set me upright. I bend to collect my things from where they had fallen when Ivan had pushed my into my locker. I gather my belongings and put them into my messenger bag with the Canadian flag on the front. I put it over my shoulder, and only then do I turn to look at my savior.

I jump back slightly in shock as I come face-to-face with a pair of very shocking eyes.

The boy in front of me looks to be about a year older then me, which would put him in the same grade as Alfred. He is a few inches taller than me and has a lean build, but looks in no way weak. He has skin is so pale that it reminds me of 's wearing black skinny jeans and a t-shirt that says "awesome ends with me" on it as well as a black leather jacket, combat boots, and a strip of leather on his wrist with violet stones in it. I'm not focusing on that in the least, however. My eyes are focusing on the boy's hair. It's the palest silver, as if it has no pigment in it. It falls in the teen's face and down the back of his neck, and is a little messy. The most striking feature about this boy, however, is none of these things. His eyes are a deep crimson, almost like blood.

"Um…hello," he says, waving his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of it. I blush, embarrassed that I was caught staring at him. I mumble, "Sorry, and thank you for letting me out of there."

He laughs and says, "No problem, and don't worry about it. It's hard not to stare at the awesomeness that is me. Hey, wait...You're that kid who ran into me earlier."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I say quickly, hoping that he doesn't beat me up.

"It's no problem. I was just wondering why you seemed familiar. Hey, can you help me? The awesomness of me is kind of lost. I need to find my first class. I was trying to find it when I heard you banging. I'm surprised nobody else found you first. It was hard to not hear your voice. But anyway, can you help the awesome me out? I'm trying to get to AP US History with Mr. Luna. You know where that is?"

"Yeah, that's my first class too. Follow me," I tell him and start to lead him to the correct classroom. I'm really confused. How come he hasn't forgotten me yet? Most people forget me without ever saying five words to me.

We get to the classroom and I take my seat. The teacher doesn't notice me as I sit in my usual place in the back next to the window. He sees the boy who was following me and asks him, "You must be the new kid they told me about. Why are you so late to class?"

"I got lost trying to find the classroom, but I ran into him in the hallway and he showed me the way," the boy tells him, pointing to me. The teacher looks at me confused and turns back to him and says, "What are you talking about? There's no one in that seat."

"What the hell are you talking about? He's right there in front of me. I may be albino but that doesn't mean I'm blind," the boy retorts, sounding really annoyed. So he's albino; that explains pale skin and hair, as well as the red eyes. I wish he would stop this ranting. Can't he see that I'm used to being treated this way?

The teacher stares at me, squinting a bit before a look of realization passes over his face. "Oh, I'm sorry…um…"

"Matthew Williams sir," I say and look out the windows next to me.

"Okay well you can take the seat next to him," Mr. Luna tells the boy, my name having already slipped his mind. "Introduce yourself to the class first."

"Okay. Pay attention people! My name is the one and only awesomeness known as Gilbert Beilschmidt. Remember it well," the albino says loudly, a huge grin on his face.

The class snickers and Gilbert comes back to sit next to me. I look out the window as Mr. Luna starts his lecture. As I absentmindedly take notes, not really paying attention to what I'm writing, I gaze out the window. I see some grey clouds in the distance and make a mental note to get my umbrella from my locker in case it rains later. I see some birds fly across the sky and think of how nice it would be if I could fly. I would fly far away from this place. Far away from my life, from the people who forget me, or maybe I would just fly up. Fly high up into the sky until I was just a small speck in the sky. Then I would stop flying and let myself fall. I'd fall and fall until I would land on the ground with a thug and lay still forever.

Gilbert's POV

I watch the boy next to me who said his name is Matthew a few minutes ago. Something about this boy seems off to me. When the teacher had acted like he wasn't there, he had acted like he was used to it. How can you get used to people acting like you don't exist when they're standing right in front of you? My awesomeness would never be able to get used to something like that.

I look at him more, taking in his appearance. His hair is blonde, like the color of soft sunlight as it streams through your window on a calm morning. It's wavy and ends just past his chin with one stray curl on top that's kind of cute. He's got a lean body and is in kind of loose skinny jeans and a red hoodie that keeps me from getting a good look at his body. His hoodie is worn and covered with stains and a hole or two. His face is turned away, so I can't get a good look at it.

There's something about him that seems to draw me towards him, though I can't quite place what it is. I want to get to know this boy.

I recall how I found him shoved into his locker. I wonder why he was in there in the first place, who would have done that to him. It's totally un-awesome. I have a feeling that there's more to Matthew that you can tell at first glance. I want to find out what it is.

I rip the corner off of a blank page in my notebook and write a note on it. It says:

Hey, so your name's Matthew? That's cool. Mine's Gilbert. So why were you stuck in your locker when I found you earlier?

I slide Matthew the note and poke him with the eraser end of my pencil. He yelps and turns to me, surprised. It's now that I finally get a chance to get a good look at his face. He has soft features, they have a feminine quality but not to the extent that one would think he was a girl. He has pale skin; not nearly as pale as mine, with me being albino and all. He has a small, pink mouth and a small nose; with freckles scattered across the bridge of it and along his cheeks. Yet the one feature that really drew me in is his eyes.

His eyes are wide disks, and are the most beautiful shade of violet that I have ever seen. They are framed by long, thick eyelashes. They're the kind of eyelashes that some girls would kill for. Those eyes almost hypnotize with me their shocking beauty. If the saying that: the eyes are the doorway into someone's soul, then I would gladly give up mine just to stare into his eyes forever. Yet there's something about his eyes that tell me that he keeps his true soul and feelings hidden away behind these beautiful orbs of lavender that take my break away. I want to find out what he is hiding from the word in those tantalizing eyes. I'll do anything it takes to figure out what's going on behind those shielded eyes.

No one seems to have heard Matthew when he yelped, and the teacher continues with his lecture as I point to the note where I put it on top of his notebook. He opens it, reads it, and a look of shock covers his face. Kind of like someone saw him when he thought he was invisible. He looks at me, mouth slightly agape.

He turns forward quickly, rips a piece of paper from his notebook, and writes swiftly. He folds it and slides it back to me. I unfold the note. It says in elegant handwriting:

_You remembered my name?_

I'm confused now. Of course I remember his name. He said it not five minutes ago. We continue to pass notes, and our conversation goes somewhat like this:

Of course, you did just say it. Why wouldn't I remember it?

_Because no one remembers my name._

Are you serious? Why?

_None of your business._

So anyway, you never answered my question. Why were you in your locker when I found you?

_None of your business._

Come on. You can't resist the awesome me when I want to know something.

_I can sure do my best._

Come on!

_Fine,__but you can't tell a soul._

Why?

_Just swear you won't tell anyone._

Fine. I swear not to tell a soul. You happy?

_No, but to answer your earlier question,__I was shoved in my locker. That's why I was there._

What? By who!

_Not telling._

Come on, Birdie. You have to tell me so that I can make that bastard pay!

_No,__and what the heck is Birdie?_

My nickname for you. It just came to me.

_I'm not a bird, my name is Matthew._

I know. It just seems to suit you, since you remind me of a little bird.

_Whatever._

So who was it?

Birdie doesn't reply to that one. I worry that I may have pushed him too far trying to getting him to tell me, so I send him another note after a few minutes.

Fine. If you don't want to tell me then I won't force you to.

_Thank you._

You know something? You're awesome, Birdie!

Birdie's eyes get really wide when he reads this note. A look of shock covers his face. It's like he's never been given a compliment before. What kind of life has this kid had if he reacts like that when someone gives him a compliment?

_Really? You think I'm awesome?_

Of course, Birdie! I like you! You seem like a really cool person, and I want to get to know you better.

Mattie stares at the letter in disbelief and doesn't respond for the rest of class. The bell rings, signaling the end of class and making Birdie jump a little. As he gets up to leave, I grab his shoulder.

"Hey, what's with suddenly not responding to my note?" I ask him.

"Please let me go. I'm going to be late to my next class," he says, shaking out of my grasp and hurrying away too fast for me to follow.

I watch him disappear in shock. Something is definitely wrong with this kid. Why was he acting so weird when I complimented him? I'm more determined to figure what's up with Birdie than ever now. However, before I worry about that, I need to figure out where my next class is. I hurry out of the room, pull out my map, and head off down the hall in search of my AP Chemistry 2 classroom.

BETA NOTE: I'm too tired from rehearsal, so I didn't touch the author notes. Gomenasai!

Author's note: So there you go; Chapter 3. I finally introduced Gilbert, I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long before introducing his awesomeness into the story. Please forgive me. I know that the end is kind of lame but forgive me. I've been writing this in my free time during class at school and typing them up during lunch. So be great full that I'm using valuable social time in my barely there social life, which is almost non-existent to begin with.

As always your guys reviews are what keep me writing so if you want more chapters please keep reviewing. They are the fuel for my fire of creativity. Also sorry for taking so long to update this, my beta is still wrapped up in our schools production of Les Mesirables so I hope that you guys can be patient because she has even less free time then me and she has to read over my stuff before I post it. So thank you for being forgiving.

My beta's pen name on is Sakura414 please go look her up she has some really good stuff

Also if you see any spelling errors that me or my Beta may have l missed please tell me about them so that I can fix them. Your reviews are greatly appreciated and are the reason I write these things.

On another note self injury and suicide are extremely serious issues. If you are self–injuring, think about doing it, or having thoughts of suicide tell someone. You have no idea how painful it would be to everyone if you were to end your own life. Coming from someone who has lost two people to suicide in one year I can say from first hand experience that it is an awful thing to go through. If you need someone to talk to then go to a teacher, a friend, a family member or other adult that you trust and talk to them about it and get help. You can even come to me. I will talk to anyone if they need help with anything; be it advice, someone to just talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a friend, or even just someone to talk to. I will be here with open arms and I won't judge anyone in any way whatsoever and would never tell anyone about what you tell me. So remember that I'm always here and you also have other people to go to. And remember you are beautiful in every way and nothing that anyone else says can ever change that.

Translations:

Previet- hello (Russian)

Also another note-when Gilbert and Matthew are passing notes back and forth the words in Italics are meant to be Matthew's if you didn't understand.

Hope you enjoyed this ^-^


	4. Chapter 4: Pain and New Friends

**I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I am so sorry people! I feel so awful about not updating this is such a long time! I feel so bad! I meant to do it over spring break but I ended up not doing anything over break because I was sick and was just not in the mood to update. I'm getting better though and I hope to get back on track with uploading my chapters. I have this thing written out in my notebooks up to chapter 13, which I am working on at the moment I am just superduper lazy pants and getting them typed up. I promise that I will try to be better about it so please forgive me! **

**Also, I Love reading all of your reviews. They make me so very happy you don't even know to hear how much you guys enjoy this. It makes me so happy especially since I didn't think that anyone would like it due to it being so depressing.**

**Anyway I will stop babbling so you can get on to the story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers/World Series. All rights belong to the genius of a man known as Hidakez Himaruya because if I owned the show, Gilbert would have way more screen time, less clothes and he and Matthew would definitely be a couple. Also Matthew would actually get recognized and not be invisible.**

**Ok so here you go what you have all been waiting for: Chapter 4**

**Enjoy **_**^-^**_

Chapter IV

Matthew POV

I drift through my next few periods without really paying too much attention. I can't get that new kid, Gilbert, out of my head.

He noticed me, helped me out of my locker, remembered my name, and even went out of his way to make the teacher realize that I was actually there. I feel strange around him. I've never been treated like this before. I've never been…remember before. I like this guy. He's strange and so different from anyone I've ever meet. I hope he won't forget me and will let me be his friend. I want to get to know him more.

I walk into my sixth period class and allow myself a small smile. This period is my art class with Mr. Roma. He's the grandfather of two students at the school, Lovino and Feliciano Vargas, otherwise known as the Vargas twins. Mr. Roma is a really laid back person as well as a really nice teacher. The biggest reason I like him, though, is because he remembers my name most of the time and praises my artwork when I do a good job.

I enter the room to find Mr. Roma sleeping at his desk. He falls asleep often in class and between classes. I giggle at the site and he snorts, jolting awake. He blinks at me and says in a groggy voice, "Who's there?" he keeps staring at me until his eyes focus.

"Oh! Ciao, Matteo," he says cheerfully.

"Hello, sir," I reply, giving a small smile.

"Today I'm going to have as a working day on your pieces for the fall show. You can just work on yours, okay?" he tells me, referring to the large competition our school holds twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. Everyone who's in an art, music, drama, or dance class enters something. Art students enter a piece of artwork, musicians enter a self- composed piece of music, dancers enter a video of a self-choreographed dance, and theatre sudents enter a script to a skit they wrote themselves. The due date for the fall show is in three weeks.

The top three entries from each art department are chosen for each grade. From the twelve pieces from all four grades, three pieces are awarded first, second, and third place school wide. I've never been in the top three in the school, but I did make it to the top three in my grade last year. I doubt that I'll make it again, though. I'm still going to put my all into it despite the slim likelihood of me winning. Art is one thing that I always put everything I've got into. Well, that and hockey.

I sit in my normal seat at the back of the class and begin working on a large pastel piece. It's not too big, only about 16"x20". It's of a polar bear surrounded by snow, looking at a maple leaf settled down on its nose. I start to work on the background and am soon lost in the rhythm of my work. After about ten minutes, my mind wanders to thoughts of Gilbert once again.

The albino boy is interesting, and he seems to find me interesting as well- at least, I hope he does. _Stop it Matthew. You're just going to get your hopes up. He'll lose interest soon and then he'll ignore you like everyone else,_ I scold myself. I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness fill me. I feel the urge to cut, and it's strong. I try to calm down, to no avail. I need to get out of the classroom. I raise my hand and ask to be excused. Mr. Roma lets me go and then dozes off to sleep again.

I quickly clean up my supplies and dash out of the room and run down the halls. I run until I'm at a small grassy space behind the art building where I often go to calm down during school. Once I get there, I lean against the brick wall of the art building. I start to scratch my cuts. I hear the bell ring to signal the end of sixth period. I have lunch next, and should probably go get my stuff and head to the cafeteria so that no one will worry about my absence. I don't move, however. Who am I kidding? My absence will go completely unnoticed by everyone, even my own brother. I stay rooted to my spot and hear footsteps coming towards the grassy area where I am. There are voices, too. Well, one voice, and it's definitely angry.

"That bastard! He's going to pay dearly for this. He better watch himself and stay away from him cause I swear if I see him right now I'm going to beat the shit out of him. ARGH! I wish I could bring my ax to school." I recognize the voice as belonging to a Danish senior named Matthias Køhlar. My brother, Alfred, enjoys playing pranks on him often, and he must have don't one particularly bad to get Matthias this angry. He often mistakes me for Alfred and beats me up for what Alfred did. I pray that now is not one of those times, but something tells me that I will have no such luck.

Matthias and his friend, Lukas, a Norwegian boy who wears a cross shaped hairpin and has a small curl on the back of his head, round the corner. As soon as Matthias's eyes spot me they narrow, full of rage and hatred; a deadly growl-like sound coming from the back of his throat. "Oh, no," I cringe. Matthias storms towards me, his long black coat flapping around him, making him look even more intimidating than he already does, if that's even possible. He lifts me up by my collar and slams me back into the wall. I let out a cry of pain as black spots cloud my vision.

"Alfred, you'll pay this time," He growls.

"I'm not…Alfred…I'm Matthew," I manage to squeak out, his grip on my hoodie cutting off my airway.

"Don't play dumb with me! You think you can put up those pictures and not expect to pay for it?" Matthias growls, sounding, if possible, more deadly than before. I begin to honestly fear for my life.

I try to explain to him that I'm not Alfred but am cut off before I can even start by a fist connecting with my stomach. He continues to beat me on my stomach and chest, even slapping my face a few times for good measure, until we hear the bell ring and Lukas forces him to stop.

"Matthias! Stop! He's had enough. I think he's learned his lesson. He's not worth it. Let's go," Lukas says sternly, his voice and face showing no emotion. Matthias seems to think that Lukas is right and that I'm not worth it. He releases me from his vice-like grip and I fall to my knees against that wall in a crumpled heap. Matthias swings his arm around Lukas' shoulders and they walk away without so much as a second glance, leaving me alone with my pain.

I don't move for a while. I'm afraid that f I do, they'll return for more. I wish that people would stop mistaking me for my brother. He's not even my real brother; he's adopted, so we have no relation whatsoever. I don't know why people think I'm him. I wonder for a second what Alfred must have done this time to make Matthias want to beat him up as badly as he did me.

I attempt to stand so that I can go into the bathroom just inside the building and inspect the extent of the damage; however, my body seems to have other plans. As I move to stand, pain shots through me. It doesn't resonate out from a single point, it racks through my whole being. I wait a little while longer and am finally able to stand without crying out in pain. I slowly make my way into the bathroom and lock myself in the largest stall.

I look at myself in the mirror that is hanging on the wall inside of the stall. I look awful. My eyes are all red and puffy from crying as Matthias beat me, and my cheek is red. I can tell that I'm going to have a bruise there tomorrow. I lift up my hoodie and shirt to inspect the damage done to my chest and stomach, the main target of most of his attacks. The usually pale skin is covered in bruises that are just beginning to form.

I grimace at myself. Why me? Why did I have to be the one who the world chose to aim all of its anger and hatred at? Not that I would ever want to push this pain and suffering onto someone else; I would never want that. I feel my puffy eyes begin to fill with tears once more, and I watch my reflection in the mirror as one tear spills over and rolls down my cheek.

I should probably be heading to the lunchroom before someone notices my absence, but even with that thought, I don't make any moves to leave. I doubt I will be missed. I should just end it. I want this pain to stop. Not the physical pain; no, the physical pain is nothing compared to this overbearing pain I feel in my heart and in my soul that threatens to consume me. I want this pain in my heart to end. I can't stand it.

My body starts to shake and I let out a sob. I try to keep it quiet, but I can't hold it in. Before long, I sink to my knees and start to sob into my hands. They're quiet and repressed sobs, since I don't want anyone to hear me. I bury my face in my hands, my whole body shivering.

I don't hear the door to the bathroom open and soft footsteps make their way to the largest stall where I am. I remain unaware of the act that I'm not alone until I hear a small knock on the stall's door. I instantly try to stop crying and attempt to dry my eyes. Whoever it is, I don't want them seeing me like this.

"Birdie? Is that you in there?"

I freeze, and my eyes grow wide. It's Gilbert. Gilbert Beilschmidt is on the other side of the thin, plastic door to the bathroom stall, and the tone of his voice holds an emotion that I have not heard someone use with me in a very long time. I haven't heard someone use that tone with me since the days when my Dad and Papa would come comfort me after I had my nightmare. It's worry; Gilbert is…worried about me?

Gilbert's POV

After I leave my first period I'm able to make it to the rest of my classes without much trouble, of course because I'm awesome. I'm able to find my classrooms okay until I reach sixth period, my music class. I get lost and spend about ten minutes roaming the halls until I find the right classroom.

The teacher in this class is a stuffy prick who just so happens to be my cousin. He's always acting like he's got a pencil shoved up his ass. He glares at me as I enter the room and has me introduce myself and sit at the back of the class. He then goes back to explaining something about a competition that the school holds each year, and how we are each expected to write a song to enter into it. We have three weeks before it's due. He gives us the class period to work on our entries.

I sit with an empty page of my notebook open in front of me, but I can't think of anything to write. I begin to just let my mind wander. It finds its way back to the boy that I met earlier. He's quiet and shy, the exact opposite of my awesome self. When I found him in his locker, he seemed a little surprised that my awesomeness had even found him. It was like he'd expected to be stuck in that thing for the rest of the day. I'm just confused that no one found him before me. I find it hard to believe that no one else heard him banging on the door and calling out for help. Maybe I'm just the only person awesome enough to have heard him.

He seemed even more surprised when the awesome me remembered his name. It's curious. Of course I remembered it. The awesome me never forgets something as simple as someone's name. However, based on his reaction to the awesome me remembering it, I have a feeling that it doesn't happen all that often. Something is up with this strange, soft-spoken blonde. I can't tell what, but the awesome me has a very unawesome feeling in my gut about him. I think that there's a lot more to him then you would see at first glance. I want to find out what it is that he's hiding. I'm not sure why. Guess I'm just that awesome.

While thinking of Birdie, I quickly lose track of time. Before I know it, the bell to signal the end of class rings, bringing me out of my awesome thoughts. I quickly pack up my bag and hurry out of the classroom. I'm hoping to see Birdie so I can sit with him and another friend I met at lunch. The other friend is someone who I met during my 3rd period. I see them walking towards the lunchroom with a very grumpy looking Italian kid with a weird hair curl sticking out of his head.

The boy I'm speaking of is an over-enthusiastic, Spanish kid named Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. He's got chocolate brown curls that hang in his face and happy, green eyes. He's extremely cheerful, and I have yet to see the boy give even the slightest hint of a frown. He also talks about some Italian freshman that he has a thing for, who I'm assuming is the one he's talking to right now with the weird hair curl. It's clear that he has a thing for the kid. He's pretty oblivious and seems a bit stupid, but I've got a feeling he's a lot smarter then he lets on. Even so, he's nice and seems like a cool enough guy to be friends with the awesome me.

I catch up to him and his little Italian friend, and we find a table to sit at. I look around and try to spot that bright red hoodie and stray blonde curl somewhere among the crowded lunch room. I frown when I see no sign of the boy, wondering where in the world he could be.

I overhear someone behind me ranting about beating up some junior called Alfred in some clearing behind the art building. They are saying something about him playing dumb and trying to pretend to be someone else.

"He kept saying his name was Matthew and even started to cry. It was so pathetic," The loud-mouth blonde kid behind him said. I perk up at the sound of Birdie's name and begin to listen closer. "He was saying he wasn't Alfred. Can you believe him? The nerve to pretend that he's someone else after putting all of those pictures up. He was good, though. Better than he normally is. His voice even sounded slightly different. It was much quieter than normal."

My eyes widen. Quiet voice, Matthew. It has to be Birdie. I quickly ask Antonio where the art building is and if there's a grassy clearing behind it. He tells me where it is while giving me a curious look. I tell him I have to go and bolt out of the lunchroom, leaving a very confused Spaniard alone with a pissed off Italian.

I sprint to where Antonio told me the clearing is and look around. I don't see anyone there, but I hear a soft, muffled sound. I listen carefully, straining my ears. I hear it again after a moment. It sounds like someone is crying. It's coming from a small window on the wall a few feet above my head. I think that the room on the other side of the wall is the boys bathroom, so I head inside to investigate.

I go inside slowly, dropping my bag at the door and making sure to not make a lot of noise. I do this quietly so that I don't startle whoever it is that's in here. I hear the sobs coming from the largest stall and approach it quietly, until I'm right outside the door. I'm really worried that the person on the other side of the door is my Birdie.

I clear my throat and knock softly on the plastic door, saying in a gentle voice, "Birdie? Is that you in there?"

**A/N Thank you guys so much for putting up with my super lazy butt and continuing to read this. I hope that this chapter makes up for it. I promise that the story is going to get better. I have to admit though it is going to get sadder before it gets happier. I feel like such an awful person for putting Mattie through such emotional turmoil. But I promise he will get his happily ever after. I swear it!**

**SO tell me what you think so far and any suggestions that you may have. **

**Here I will leave room for my wonderful and amazing beta, Sakura414, to leave a message.**

Beta Note:

**Hello, all of you beautiful people! As previously stated, I'm Sakura414, and I'm the beta reader for this deliciously angsty story! ^.^ I'm sick right now, so I probably missed a few errors here and there, and I didn't touch the author notes again. I'm sorry! Anyway, this is my first time beta reading! I have to say, it's pretty weird, especially since I've actually never visited the Hetalia archive before! It's also really exciting, though, and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia (dang, that's a mouthful!) is doing an excellent job! It's such a joy to be part of the production of this story!  
>~Sakura~<strong>

**Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it. Until next time **_**^-^**_**Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5: Strange Boy and Sudden Plans

**Ok so again I know this is again a week late and I'm truly sorry. I really intended to get this out last Sunday but I didn't finish typing it and then all this week I have PSSA testing at my school so our lunches are much shorter and I didn't have enough time to eat and type. I skipped lunch one day to work on typing, because I didn't have money for lunch but I still didn't get it all done. You better be great full. I skipped food to give you this. Anyway I hope you enjoy it despite the lateness. Warning there are tears and sappiness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers/World Series. Those rights belong to the genius know as Hidykez Himeruya.**

**Ok so here you go: Chapter 5**

**Enjoy ^-^**

Chapter V

Matthew's POV

I don't move, trying to stay as still as possible, hoping that Gilbert will eventually leave. I don't want him to see me like this. He'll probably be disgusted and appalled at how pathetic I am and never want to talk to me again. Unfortunately, to my dismay, he does not leave. Instead, he calls out to me again.

"Birdie? Are you okay? I heard crying. What's wrong?"

When I still do not respond, he does something that truly shocks me. He gets on his knees and looks under the bathroom stall door. His crimson eyes look at me, full of worry. I jump a little in shock at his action, and my lavender eyes stay locked with his crimson orbs for a moment before I hide my face in my hands, ashamed at being seen in such a pathetic state.

I can't believe I let him see me! He's going to think I'm just some wimp now and never talk to me again. Then he'll forget me in a few minutes, just like everyone else always does. I hear an odd noise and peek through my fingers to see what's going on. I stare in surprise when I see the pale boy crawling under the stall door to sit in front of me. He slowly takes my hands and gently moves them away from my face. He reaches out slowly, as if worried about spooking me. He then touches my cheek softly and brushes away my tears. I have a feeling that he somehow already knows what happened to me and why I'm in here like this.

"O gott, Birdie. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you have had to go through this. It's totally unawesome. The bastard who did this needs to pay. I can't believe someone would do something so unawesome," he says. I hear shock and disgust in his voice.

"I guess you're going to leave now. No one would want to have someone as pathetic and weak as me as their friend," I whisper softly as I look at my hands still held in one of his.

"Hell no!" Gilbert says, practically growling. "There's no way in hell the awesome me is going to leave a helpless little bird. That would be so unawesome!"

I look up shocked and look into crimson eyes full of fury and anger.

"How can you even being to think that I would leave you like this? You're awesome, Birdie, and I can't stand idly by while my friend is hurt like this," he says, his voice growing softer.

I look into his eyes shocked. I've never been given a compliment like that before. Why is Gilbert being so nice to me? He barely even knows me. I think to myself that maybe I've found someone who will remember me and be my friend. I hope so. I don't want Gilbert to forget me; I like him. My eyes prick with tears at the thought of finally finding someone to be my friend.

Gilbert's POV

My eyes widen as I see birdie's eyes fill with tears. _Oh shit! Did I say something wrong? Totally unawesome of you, Gilbert. You're supposed to be making him feel better, not making him cry!_ I mentally Gib-slap myself (if you get this refrence I will have Canada hug you). I gotta say something quick to make him stop. My mind races as I try to think of what to say.

"O gott. I'm sorry, Birdie. I didn't mean to say something to upset you," I blabber, stumbling over my words and probably sounding like an idiot. Birdie just looks at me, watching me with those wide, tear-filled, lavender eyes of his that set my heart a flutter. Then his lips twitch into a small smile and he giggles a bit.

I stop talking when he giggles. I've never heard Birdie laugh before. It's cute and small, like the chirping of a little baby bird. I stare at him shocked, my face making him giggle more.

"It's okay. It's just …no one has ever told me I'm awesome before. Well, actually, I can't remember the last time someone complimented me at all," he says.

"Are you kidding me! But you're so awesome, Birdie! Who wouldn't notice you?" I say, wondering exactly how lonely Birdie is if no one has ever complimented him.

"Well, get used to it, because I've decided that you are awesome enough to have the awesome me as a friend. I promise that the awesome me won't let anyone else beat you up like this anymore," I say, smiling wide, though I am serious at the last part. No one should ever get beat up for being mistaken for someone else.

Matt stares at me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging slightly agape. He looks even more like a scared little bird now. Even so, he looks so adorable. I wipe the tears from his eyes and dry his cheeks with the end of my sleeve.

"Now let me see how bad it is," I order him, wanting to know to what extent his injuries are from being beaten up. This causes Matt to snap out of it and he pulls back a bit, as if not wanting to show me. It's like he's afraid that something will happen if I see. "it's okay, Birdie. I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to see how bad it is," I assure him.

How can I show him he can trust me? He's shaking, and looks as if he's made of glass and will shatter if I'm not careful. I feel drawn to him. I wrap him in my arms and hold him close. He freezes up at my touch and I stroke his hair. It's soft, like birds feathers, even when It's messed up from him getting beaten. As I hold him in my arms, I get a warm feeling in my chest. It's not a bad feeling; it's actually really nice.

Before I think further on it, I feel Birdie move. I let go of him and pull away, worried that maybe hugging him has scared him further. I hold him at arm-length and look at him. His eyes are red and puffy, and a bruise is forming on his jaw. I tense at the sight of the bruise. How can someone do something so awful to someone as sweet and innocent as Birdie? It's so unawesome that it's almost inhuman. Birdie looks at me, takes a breath, and lifts his hoodie and t-shirt up enough to expose his stomach and chest so that I can inspect the damage done. I'm horrified to see that he is covered in red blotches and multiple bruises are forming on his torso.

"O gott…Birdie…," is all I can say. I'm at a loose for words. I just wrap him in my arms again and hold him close to me, gently to be careful of the bruises. I just hold him against my chest and he clings to the front of my shirt.

"It's okay, Birdie. I swear to you that I will never let anyone harm you again. No one can ever dare to harm a friend of my awesome self and think that they can get away with it. If anyone ever hurts you- I don't care who it is- I swear to you that I will personally kick their ass until they are black and blue all over. Do you understand?" I pull him away again and look at his eyes intensely to see if he understands. He nods his head and I help him up.

"Do you think you can last through another period, or do you want me to take you to the nurse's office so you can go home?"

"I think I can last," he replies a little shakily, giving me a small smile.

I grin and help Birdie up, and we stand there smiling stupidly at each other for a bit. We then go to get Birdie's stuff and head to our 8th and final period of the day, which, coincidentally, we have together.

We share French as our 8th period class. I had wanted to take German since I'm already fluent, so it would have been an easy A. Unfortunately, my grandfather and brother made me take a language I didn't already know. So, I got stuck with French. Yet at the moment, I couldn't be happier, since it gives me another awesome class to be with my Birdie.

For some reason, whenever I see him, I get this odd feeling in my gut that if I leave him, something very bad will happen. I don't know what; just that it would be really bad. I don't want anything bad to happen to this small, blonde boy. I have an itch in my gut that tells me to protect him.

We sit in the far back of the corner of the classroom, away from the eyes of the teacher. Matt gets out a binder and starts to take notes as if he's in a daze. I keep snatching glances at him, and end up spending more time looking at him then taking notes or listening to the rubbish that the teacher was spitting out about the importance of conjugating irregular verbs properly. Matt looks lost, his pencil moving over the page of his notebook, writing down notes without really noticing what he's writing.

He's looking out the window beside us. I can tell from the look in his lavender eyes that he's not in the classroom. He's off somewhere else, deep in the recesses of his mind. I want to reach out and bring him out of it, but I'm afraid of what might happen if I break him out of this trance-like state he's in. So I leave him be, but watch him carefully for the rest of the period.

He stays in his stupor until the bell rings, signaling the end of the period and the school day. The students around us rush quickly out of the room in hopes of meeting up with friends or heading to club activities. Matthew jumps at the loud ringing and looks around as if wondering how he got there. I reach out a hand, hoping to calm the slight look of panic that is slowly spreading over his face.

I lightly touch his shoulder, bringing his gaze to meet mine, and say in a soft, hopefully reassuring voice, "Hey, Birdie, you feeling okay?"

Birdie stares at me, his eyes growing wide as his mind seems to grasp the situation. He then relaxes and seems to calm down a bit.

"Y-yeah, I'm f-fine," he replies in a soft voice. I need to concentrate to make sure I hear it.

"Hey you wanna hang out with me? Like, at the mall or something?" I ask nervously. Wait a second! The awesome me doesn't get nervous! What the heck is it with this kid that's turning me into a pansy?

Birdie's face lights up with a look that the awesome me can only describe as a mixture of shock, surprise, and pure joy. It's like no one's ever asked this kid to hang out before. Then again, given his reaction to me wanting to be his friend, that may not actually be too far from the truth.

"S-s-sure, I…I'd love that, Gil," he almost whispers, stuttering and looking too cute with a blush spreading over his face and neck, making him look as red as his hoodie. Gott, this kid is too damn adorable for his own good. I'm not falling for him, am I?

I've known for a long time that I'm Bi-sexual. When I was younger, I had a huge thing for this girl who I always hung out with, who's still one of my best friends to this day. Her name is Elizvetta. She's way too obsessed with something she calls yaoi and just loves hitting me over the head with a frying pan. It's a wonder I haven't lost any brain cells or gotten a concussion. I kind of had a thing for her, but she's engaged to my cousin Rodreich, who's the music teacher I had earlier and who I always have had a habit of calling Roddy. After that, I realized I had a thing for guys. I say I'm bi because I had a thing for Elizavetta, but she's the only girl I've ever had feelings for.

I'm not super open with it, so most people think I'm straight and I just don't bother to correct them. I don't mind much. They are just in too much awe of my pure, raw awesomeness to notice such things. The only people who know about my sexuality are my grandfather, my brother, Roddy, and Elizavetta.

Anyway, back to the present, Birdie's blushing bright red, looking so damn cute. Am I, the awesomeness of Gilbert Beilschmidt, seriously falling for this quiet boy? Who knows? Right now, I'm just going to work on being his friend. He seems like he needs one, and having the awesomeness of me as a friend will surely lift his spirits. How can you not be happy when you're around such awesomenes?

"Gil?" Birdie's voice brings me out of my awesome thought. I look down at him and see a slightly worried look on his face and another emotion in those deep violet eyes that I can't place. Is it….sadness?

"You don't have to hang out with me if you don't want to. You don't need to force yourself to be nice to me," Birdie tells me. He's looking down as he packs up his bag, avoiding looking at me.

"What are you talking about Birdie? Of course I want to hang out with you. I'm not forcing myself at all. The awesome me would never force something like that. You better get it into your head that you're stuck with my awesomeness as a friend. You're not getting rid of me any time soon," I inform him, flashing my signature grin, or the grin of awesomeness as I like to call it.

Birdie again looks shocked for at least the tenth or fifteenth time that day and gives me a weak smile.

"Okay," he chirps, his voice reminding me of my canary back at home. I grin, grab his wrist, and pull him out into the halls with me to drop our stuff at our lockers before heading out for an afternoon of awesomeness at the mall.

As I grab Birdie's wrist and pull him into the hall, I see a small flash of pain in his eyes, so small that it's almost not there. I assume I'm just pulling too hard and ease up on my grip. Little do I know of the hidden cuts beneath my fingers, some of which have broken open slightly or how my day is soon going to take a drastic turn that will change the course of my life forever.

**OK It's finally done. Chapter five. I'm soooooooooooooooo sorry about how slow I've been people. I'm trying to be a good writer and get these out on a regular basis but I'm seriously failing at it. I promise that I'll try to get better about uploading chapters. Oh and I kind of jumped on the bandwagon and did a one shot based off of the song speak now by Taylor Swift. I'll upload that as soon as I can and it may even be out before I'm able to get this chapter yup.**

**So as always your guys reviews are what keep me going and I can not wait to get feedback form you. If you notice any mistakes that my beta and I may have missed just point them out and I will gladly fix them.**

**Also to anyone who gets the gib-slap reference Canada will hug you**

**Canada: Do I have to eh?**

**Me: Yes you do because you're super adorable and cute.**

**Gilbert: If I get the reference can I have a hug?**

**Me: You already get hugs from him now shush so I can finish my authors note.**

**SO anyway thank you again for putting up with my super lazy slowness and I look forward to hearing more feedback. Now I will let my wonderful Beta say a few things because she is awesome and keeps me form going insane.**

**Beta Note:**

***sigh* You know, I think that everyone needs a boyfriend like Gilbert. Wouldn't that be nice? If I found a guy with his level of awesomeness, I would be happy forever. Anyway, as usual, I didn't touch the author's notes, and as Wolf-chan said, please notify her if we missed any errors in the chapter!  
>On behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you all for your kindness! ~Sakura~<strong>

**A/N Of course everyone needs a boyfriend like Gil. He's hot, nice, and is albino. I mean come one, white hair and red eyes how is that not sexy?**

**Anyway Me and Sakura414 thank you for reading and we can't wait to get you more angsty prucan to read. Also a warning It will be getting more angsty and sad within the next couple of chapters so make sure to keep a box of tissues on hand.**

**Till next time. Bye! **_**^-^**_


	6. Chapter 6:  Painful Words

**Hey people! I'm back and hopefully I will be able to get this up on time. I know that you all have been extremely patient with me and my super slow updates but I promise that I'm doing my best to be a good author and update on time. My school schedule was kinda wonky this week though cause of PSSA testing so I didn't have enough time during lunch to type until Friday.**

**Also I just wanted to note that I had long since lost count of how many people have added this story to their story alerts or their favorites but I know from the amount of emails that I have been getting the number is high and it makes me so happy to know that you guys all like this story. It really makes me happy. I honestly thoughts I would be getting like five followers and no more than 10 reviews but the last I checked I had THIRTY reviews. Can you believe it! Thank you guys so much for all your support. It really is what keeps me going with this.**

**Also congrats to all the people that got the NCIS reference in the last chapter. I did not expect a lot of people to get it but that's awesome that you did. I hope that you guys like this chapter as well.**

**Please enjoy. ^-^**

Chapter XIV

Matthew's POV

Gilbert grabs my wrist and pain shots up my arm. I bite my lip to hold back a hiss of pain. His grip loosens and I panic for a second, because I'm afraid that Gilbert noticed my pain and is suspicious. However, when he makes no mention of it, I relax and let him lead me to his locker.

After dropping Gil's stuff at his locker, we head off towards mine. As we grow nearer to my locker, I realize that someone has graffitied all over it with a sharpie. Gil sees what it says, and I hear what sounds like a growl come from him. Before I can read it, he forcefully turns me around so that I can't see it. I can feel Gil's body shaking slightly as he holds my shoulders and hear him mutter, "Those bastards. How dare they?"

"Gil what's it say?" I ask, trying to turn to face my locker. Gil, however, holds me fast and doesn't let me see it.

"No, don't look. Just…don't look…please," I hear him reply. I notice that not just his body is shaking, but his voice is as well. What is written on my locker that has him so upset? It's not like it's him that's being insulted. I'm used to the insults after so many years of hearing them. I manage to somehow escape his grasp and turn around before he can stop me. I look at my locker and freeze. Across my locker is written FAG, Queer, COCKSUCKER, WHORE, SLUT, WIMP, BABY, BITCH, HOOKER, and so many other insults that I can't even bring myself to read. I find myself unable to move or look away from the array of insults before me. My eyes focus on one sentence written at the very center of it all. Just five little words.

Why don't you just die already?

A hand covers my eyes and gently turns me back around so my back is to my locker again. My eyes are uncovered and I hear Gil ask what stuff I need for the weekend from my locker. I tell him, and he gets it and puts back the books that I won't need. He then closes my locker, and I can almost hear him tense as he sees the insults again. He takes my hand and drags me towards the school's office.

"Gil what are you doing?" I ask anxiously.

"Taking you to the office to tell them what happened. Whoever did this is going to pay," he tells me, his voice practically a growl.

"No, it's okay. It'll just get cleaned off by the janitor. I'll be fine, I promise. Please just forget about it," I plead, my words falling over themselves as I try to calm Gilbert down. He looks at me, a look of slight horror on his face.

"How can you say that, Birdie? How can someone as awesome as me possibly forget about something as unawesome as that? You shouldn't have to put up with shit like that. You need to tell someone about it. If not to try and stop things, then to at least get those unawesome words off your locker, okay?" He looks at me with a sad look on his face. I sigh and give in.

"Fine, but only so that the words will get washed off. That's all, understand?"

"Okay," he replies with a smile replacing the sad look on his face.

We get to the office and tell the lady behind the desk about seeing the profanities on my locker, but we do not tell her whose locker it is. We then tell her the locker number and leave.

Gilbert leads me to the school's parking lot and pulls me up to a car with a large, rather intimidating blue-eyed boy with slicked back blonde hair waiting next to it. There's a smaller boy hopping around the blonde one. He has auburn hair with one random curl sticking off to the side and honey gold eyes. He's babbling something random about pasta in a happy-go-lucky voice, with a cheerful smile on his face.

I recognize the cheerful brunette as Feliciano Vargas, one of my art teacher's grandsons. He's in my art class as well as one other class, but we've never spoken- or, well, he's never seen me.

"Hey, West!" Gil yells, back to his loud and cocky self after the locker incident, as he pulls me up to the two boys.

"Birdie, I would like you to meet mein little bruder, Ludwig," he says, introducing me to the blonde.

"Younger brother," I gasp. The boy in front of me looks as if he could be Gilbert's elder by at least a year or two.

"Yep. Everyone who doesn't know us always assumes that Ludwig is the older one, but nope, I'm the big bruder," he explains, grinning as he throws his arm around Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig shrugs it off and continues without a hitch. "Ludwig, this is the awesomest person in the world- besides me of course but that goes without saying- Mattie."

"It's Matthew," I correct him, blushing shyly, "it's nice to meet you, Ludwig."

"Likewise," the large blonde replies, looking at me with icy blue eyes. He then turns to his older brother.

"This is Feliciano," he says and motions to the brunette, who has been distracted by a butterfly this whole time. At the sound of his name, he perks up, skips over, and gives Gilbert an overly-affectionate hug for someone who they are just now meeting. My heart tightens a bit at the sight for some reason.

"It's nice to meet you! I'm Feliciano Vargas, but you can just call me Feli. I love pasta! Ve~," he chirps happily. Gilbert stares down at the little Italian for a second before bursting out in laughter. Feliciano, being completely oblivious, laughs along with him before he lets go of Gilbert in favor of latching on to Ludwig's arm, causing the owner of said arm to turn a light pink color.

"Luddy, what's so funny?" Feliciano asks, a confused look appearing on his face when Ludwig's blushing and new nickname make Gilbert only laugh harder.

"It's nothing, kid. Just take good care of my bro, you got that?" Gilbert tells him after he finally is able to regain some of his composure. Feliciano just smiles brightly and bobs his head up and down to say yes, his stray curl that both he and his twin seem to have for some reason bouncing wildly.

"Well this is Matthew, Feli," the albino says, slinging an arm over my shoulder. I'm soon wrapped in a hug like the one Gilbert received from the Italian only moments ago.

I stay still, trying to get over the shock and confusion of thoughts in my head.

"Come on, let's go. Birdie and I are going to the mall," Gil says and the four of us climb into the car. Feliciano takes shotgun, while Gilbert climbs in back with me and Ludwig gets into the driver's seat, and with that, away we go.

**I know super lame filler chapter but I hope you like it. I know I'm being cruel to Mattie but I promise that I will give him the happy ending that he deserves. I swear it on my life.**

**Anyway as always your feedback is always appreciated and if you catch any spelling or grammatical errors that my Beta and I may have missed then please do not hesitate to tell me so th at I can fix them.**

**As always your reviews are well love but now flames. They shall be used to roast marshmallows on.**

**O and I want your help. I can't decide what kind of car Ludwig should have. Give your suggestions and I will chose the best one or maybe have a vote so send in your suggestions.**

**Now for my lovely Beta to say a few words:**

**Darn, it was a filler! Shame, because to be honest, I'm pretty curious about how Wolf-chan is going to pull off the whole heartfelt moment thing. (Oh, we all know it's coming!) Maybe if we all make puppy eyes at her, she'll update again! (OwO) Just kidding~ Take your time, my darling. You're doing splendidly! :D -On behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you all for reading! ~Sakura~**

**Until next time my dears. Bye ^-^**


	7. Chapter 7: New Friends, New Look

Okay so I know that the last chapter was sad and really fillerish. However I loved your feedback anyway. I still haven't decided what kind of car Ludwig will have so it will for now just be called the car. So yeah I hope you enjoy this chapter and I am happy to let you know that I'm getting out of my writing slump. I was stuck on where to continue after chapter 13 (yes I have this written up to 13 chapters already!) however I had no Idea what to do next but I'm glad to let you know that I'm moving forward again. I can't wait to get your guys feedback on this chapter so here you go.

Also I'm really sorry for taking so long. My computer at hoe broke so I didn't have a chance to type except during lunch at school and then once I was done typing I didn't have a chance to upload it. However, I have a computer at home now again so I can upload it. I really hope you like it and as always. Reviews are much appreciated.

Chapter7, Enjoy ^-^

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><p><span>Chapter VII<span>

Matthew's POV

The drive to Gilbert's house was filled with his an Feliciano's near constant chatter. I don't say anything, taking this time to observe Gilbert a little closer. He's definitely not bad looking with his whitish, silver hair that looks as if it would be slightly rough to the touch if I were to reach out and stroke it. His eyes are very striking: a deep crimson, so alike in color to blood.

I feel my wrists start to tingle and a need to cut begins to blossom in my stomach. I panic slightly, fighting the feeling back, breathing a sigh of relief when it finally fades.

I look back up from my hands, which I had clamped tightly in my lap to help fight back my desire for release, and I'm meet with a concerned looking Gilbert watching me.

"You okay? You looked like you were about to have a panic attack a second ago," he asks, looking at me intently.

"Y-yeah fine. Just realized that I didn't tell my brother or dads that I won't be home for a bit," I lie, my voice shaking slightly.

"You can use the phone at our house to give them a call if you want to. So that they know where you are," he suggests.

"S-sure, sounds like a plan," I say, giving him a weak smile.

"We're here," Ludwig informs us as we pull up to a large, two-story house. We all go inside, and Ludwig immediately takes Feliciano off somewhere, leaving me alone with a certain silver haired Prussian.

Gilbert's POV

Birdie just stands with me in the front hallway. The room has numerous boxes in it, just like every other room in the house, since we haven't had time to unpack our stuff completely yet. Ludwig ran off with Feli, probably to his bedroom, so I now have Birdie all to myself.

He just stands there, looking at the ground, fidgeting with the bottom of his slightly frayed red hoodie. He scratches at his wrists a bit through the material, and I can't help but think of how utterly adorable he looks. I shake the thoughts from my head and remember that he needs to call his parents.

"Come on, let me show you around," I say. I take him by the wrist and begin to lead him through the house. It's smaller then my house back in Germany where I used to live, but it's a nice place nonetheless. Our old house was only as big as it was because it was really old and our family had lived in it for, like, centuries or something.

I tell this to Birdie as I lead him through the first floor, where I show him Ludwig's workout room, the library, the living room, the family room, the sitting room, and the kitchen. After stopping in the kitchen for a minute to let him use the phone to call his parents, I take him to see the last room on the first floor.

We stand in front of the door to the study. It's my grandfather's workroom. I knock gently, composing the awesome me so that I look presentable for him. This action brings a curious look from Birdie but he merely raises and eyebrow and makes no comment on it, something for which I'm very great full.

"Come in," a gruff voice says from the other side of the door. I turn the doorknob and slowly open the door.

"Vatti, I brought a friend over so I could drop off my stuff before we head to the mall. I thought you would like to meet someone awesome enough to be my friend," I say to a large blonde man in a white button down shirt and slacks, who turns to face Birdie and me as we enter the room.

My grandfather's long, blonde hair is held back by a piece of string, with the exception of a small part of it which is in a small braid at the side of his face and has blue beads at the end of it. He's a tall man with a large, strong build and piercing pale blue eyes which both my father and my brother inherited from him. I, on the other hand, have a lean build which I inherited from my mom. Just because I'm lean, though, doesn't mean I'm weak. I know how to hold my own quite well in a fight, thanks to training that my grandfather has me and Ludwig do, though I blow it off most of the time. Anyway, back to my grandfather.

He sets the book he's holding on the bookshelf that he's been filling with tomes covering a wide range of subjects. He brushes his hands off and comes to greet us. I glance at Birdie, who looks really tense and is probably a little frightened. Vatti tends to have that impression on people. He seems all big and scary, but behind his sharp, hard features, he's really a nice guy and he cares a lot about the people who are important to him. When I was in the hospital in a coma for a week after the car accident, he had stayed by my side every moment. Ludwig told me that after I had woken up, he had escaped the crash with only minor cuts and bruises, thank god. So, enough about the past, back to the present.

"Vatti, This is Matthew…uh, what was your last name again? I don't think I ever caught it," I say.

"Bonnefoy-Kirkland. Matthew Williams Bonnefoy-Kirkland, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Beilschmidt. You have a really lovely home," Birdie says in a small voice, taking the hand that is extended to him and shakes it gently.

"Danke, und it's a pleasure to meet you as vell, Matthew. I'm glad that Gilbert vas able to find a friend in such a short time," Vatti replies in his heavy Germanic accent, the barest hint of a smile playing over his face as he looks Birdie up and down. I don't think Birdie notices the smile; most people wouldn't, as it is so faint that it is barely there at all, but I do and I know that it means that he likes him. I break into a huge grin.

I throw my arm around Birdie's shoulders and say, "Danke, Vatti! I'm gonna show Matt mein room before ve leave okay?"

"That's fine, Gilbert. It vas nice to meet you, Matthew," Vatti replies.

"Thank you, sir," Birdie says in a quiet voice and smiles, though the smile seems somewhat forced.

We then leave the study and head to a door down the hall that is already covered in signs that say things like 'The Room of Awesomeness,' and 'Do not enter without my awesome permission.' I push the door open and reveal my awesome bedroom with a great flourish of my hand.

"Well, here it is. The bedroom of his highest awesomeness, me," I announce, grinning.

Matthew's POV

I enter Gilbert's bedroom and look around. It's already been mostly unpacked by the looks of things, with only three or four boxes left. A bed is pushed into a far corner and is covered by a large blanket with the Prussian flag on it. A large stuffed bird sits on the bed by the pillow. I giggle at the sight of it, causing a faint blush to spread across the Prussian boy's cheeks.

His walls are bare, but I see a pile of rolled up posters, which I assume are going to be put up soon. There's a desk on the wall across from the bed with a laptop on top of it. Next to the desk in a dresser, and on the other side of that is a bookshelf with two boxes labeled "books" in front of it. A black guitar with red details sits in one corner of the room in its stand. In the last corner of the room from the bed and right across from the doorway there sits a bird cage on a small, three-legged table. In the cage, I see a small ball of yellow fluff.

Gilbert closes the door, goes over to the cage, and gently lifts the small ball of yellow fluff that sits in it. He brings it over to me, and as he gets closer, I realize that the small ball of yellow fluff is a little canary. It's looking up at me from his master's hands with small black eyes.

"This is Gilbird. He is an extension of my awesomeness. Hold out your hands," he tells me in a soft voice full of pride as he places the little bird into my cupped hands. The bird's feathers are softer than anything I've ever felt before, even my polar bear Kumakiko's fur. It looks at my for a long time before turning and fluttering up to it's owner's shoulder, where it chirps into his ear. It then flutters back over to me, landing on my shoulder and snuggling against my cheek. At this action, a wide grin spreads across Gilbert's face.

"He likes you, Birdie! He really likes you!" Gilbert gushes excitedly. "He said he really likes you and he thinks that you're awesome! This is so awesome! It's official now!"

"Wait, did you just say that this bird told you that it likes me? Another thing: what's "official"?" I ask, severally confused at this point by what the albino in front of me is saying.

"Of course he told me, Gilbird and I both speak the language of awesomeness. What's official is that you are awesome enough for the awesome me to be friends with," he explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Gilbird always gets to judge people who I'm friends with. Even if he doesn't like them, I stay friends with them sometimes, but my best friends are always the ones that Gilbird approves."

"Oh. I see now," I say, though I'm still severally confused at the fact that Gilbert lets a bird judge who his friends will be.

"Yup, and he seems to really really like you. You must be special or something. He's never reacted to someone that way before," Gilbert tells me.

I stand there shocked. I'm special? No one has ever told me that before. I look at the little bird on my shoulder with my mouth open slightly in shock. My face softens after a bit and I smile at the tiny ball of fluff gratefully and whisper softly, "Thank you."

It chirps back at me and makes a look as if saying "You're welcome." Then it flies back to Gilbert and settles on top of the teens head in the middle of the mess of silver locks. The image is just too cute as Gilbert reaches up to pet the bird lovingly that I just can't help but giggle.

Gilbert freezes and stares at me for a moment before he starts to laugh with me. He gets a big grin of pride on his face, like he's proud of being the person to make me laugh.

"Come on, Birdie. Let's head to the mall," Gil says and we head out to his car. Gil's car is a sleek, silver, convertible Volks Wagon with a large Prussian Eagle on the front hood. Gil tells me that his grandfather and Ludwig were appalled when he had gotten it done, but that he's very proud of his Prussian heritage and likes it despite them both ordering him to get rid of it.

We get into the car and leave. Before too long, we arrive at the mall. We head inside and just walk around, looking in different stores. I let him drag me around until I realize he's about to pull me into Victoria's Secret. I stop there and yell at him, which only makes him laugh and ruffle my hair. After that, we continue to walk around. I've never really been to the mall before, so I just look around at all the different shops.

While we walk around, I begin to learn more about Gilbert and tell him more about myself. I tell him about how I used to live in Canada, leaving out the part about my parents' deaths and my cousin molesting me. When I tell him that Francis and Arthur had adopted me, he asks what happened to my real parents. I get really quiet and just tell him that it's complicated, and he doesn't push the subject. I tell him that I love to play hockey and do art. He also learns that I'm just as proud, if not more, of my Canadian heritage as he is of his Prussian heritage.

I learn that Gilbert comes from Germany and that the new music teacher at the school, Mr. Edelstein, is his uncle. I also learn that he got his love of birds from his mother, and that the man whom he called Vatti was actually his grandfather. I know that the word vatti is German for father. When I asked him who he called his grandfather that, he merely replied, "He's always acted as my father, because my dad can't do it."

"How so?" I ask, tilting my head to the side a bit in confusion.

"My parents died in a car accident when I was really little. I barely survived, and Ludwig got off without too much injury because I shielded him with me body," he says, but then a look of shock passes over his face as if he's shocked that he even told me.

"Oh Gil I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea," I say, shocked athow anyone can be so upbeat and cheerful after seeing their parents die in front of them.

"It's okay, Birdie. It happened a while ago, and I know that they're in a better place now. I'm just a little surprised at myself. I've never told anyone I just meet about that. In fact, few people who aren't family know about it."

"Okay," I answer quietly.

After a while, we get back to talking about happier things and somehow we get onto the topic of food. I am horrified by Gilbert's reaction tome saying I loved Pancakes and syrup, for this is what he says: "What is that?"

I stop dead in my tracks and stare at him in horror before yelling, "How can you never have tasted the heaven on Earth of pancakes and maple syrup?"

Gilbert jumps and looks at me, shocked at my loud reaction. He snickers, "KESESESE You'll have to tell me the name of a restaurant where I can go get them sometime if they're really that good."

"No way! I'm going to make them for you myself!"

He breaks into an even bigger grin than the one already in place on his face.

"It's a date, then! Now come on. I want you to meet someone," he says, shocking me when he says date and starts pulling me towards some store called Hot Topic. I eye the store warily as Gil pulls me in and I find myself surrounded by punk clothing and all manners of accessories. Screamo music is playing, and my face breaks into a smile.

You probably wouldn't think this about me, but I absolutely LOVE punk stuff. Ripped jeans, colorful studs, hair streaks, anything punk; I love it all. I never get to wear it because Arthur would never let me, even though, according to Francis, he was a huge rebel when he was a kid in London.

I'm still staring around at the store in awe when I hear that familiar Kesesese. I turn around and meet Gil's red eyes.

"So you like it, Birdie?"

"Oh yeah! I love it!" I exclaim in happiness, my violet eyes literally sparkling with happiness.

"Really? I wouldn't have pegged you as one who'd be into this kind of stuff."

"I love this kind of stuff, Gil. I just never get to wear any of it because Arthur thinks that it's ungentlemanly," I reply, pulling a snooty British accent for the last part, making Gill laugh.

As Gil is regaining his composure, a girl with long brown hair, a pink flower tucked behind her one ear, and a white bandana holding her hair out of her face approaches us. She has a kind smile and bright green eyes full of life. She looks out of place in simple blue jeans, ballet flats, and a slain green blouse.

"Who's this little cutie, Gil?" the girl asks Gil while looking me up and down.

"Hey, Liz!" Gil says enthusiastically, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "This is my new friend. His name is Matthew Bonnefoy-Kirkland," he says, gesturing to me.

"It's Matthew Williams," I correct him, earning me a curious face.

"Didn't you say your last name was Bonnefoy-Kirkland when you introduced yourself to Vatti?" Gil asks, looking confused.

"Yes. That's my official name since they adopted me, but I prefer to only use it for something formal like meeting someone's parents or with teachers. The rest of the time I use my original last name which is Williams," I explain to him.

"Oh, I see. Well, anyway, this is Elizavetta Edelstein. She's Roddy's wife," Gil tells me, gesturing to the girl in front of us as he uses his pet name for his uncle.

"Call me Liz, and I'm not his wife yet, Gil. The wedding's not until April. Remember, you better wear a suit and bring a nice date or you'll taste the wrath of my frying pan," Liz corrects him cheerfully while shaking my hand and producing a frying pan seemingly out of nowhere and threatening the albino with it.

"Fine, fine, I'll wear a tux and bring a date. Anyway, I've got a challenge for you, Liz," Gil tells her with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he changes the subject.

"What's your challenge?" Liz replies. A glint appears in her eyes that matches the one in Gilbert's almost exactly, and I start to get a bad feeling in my gut that I have something to do with this challenge.

"I want you to find Birdie here an outfit that will make him look super awesome and hot. His current one is merely hiding his awesomeness."

"Challenge Accepted," Liz says without a single moment's hesitation.

"Holdup!" I cry before I'm swept away by the crazy, pan-wielding woman.

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><p>Okay so I really hope you guys like this chapter. It's longer than I normally do them. I realized that I had one day spread out into 12chapters so I'm definitely going to be condensing them. Also I had Zenkaikon last Saturday and I meet some really amazing people there am had the time of my life. I kissed a male Germany cosplayer and it somehow got on youtube. The video is titled Germancest stage kiss if you want to look it up. I also met many other Prussia cosplayers and me and one of them have decided to get married and join into one single ten meters of pure awesome. They have an account on here too I believe their username is theawesomeprussia so go check out their stuff. They've got lots of great stories so please go check out their channel I know that you're reading this and so I'd like to say Hi mein awesome husband!<p>

Anyway please forgive me for taking so long. My computer at home broke so I can only work at this at school and I can only update it if I'm on my computer at home but I will try and do it here if I get the chance. Anyway I hope you guys liked this chapter and I hope to get lots more reviews. I love getting them and they are what keep me going abate I'm a very slow worker given that I do not have too much time to work on computers. I will continue to update as fast as I can to bring you more of the awesome Prussia and adorable Canada.

Nowhere's my Lovely beta, Sakura414 to say a few words:

The con was even more fun than usual this year! Definitely the best one I've been to yet. Sadly, we must now return to the crappy reality known as high school and face the fact that we have not updated our stories in far too long. Congratulations on beating me this time, Wolf-chan. I'll have to pick up my pace! On behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you all for reading!

Until next time mein leiblings.


	8. Chapter 8: Old Faces, Returning Fears

I hope you like this chapter and I hope that you guys like the outfit I designed for Mattie.

Here you go: Chapter 8 Enjoy ^-^  
>-<p>

Chapter VIII

Gilbert's POV

About an hour and many outfits later, we had finally found the perfect outfit for Birdie. The whole time we were looking for the outfit, and even when changing, Birdie kept his hoodie on. Eventually, Elizavetta decided he must have just been shy, so she started giving him long sleeved shirts, assuming he must be insecure about his body.

And now, after much hard work, Birdie stands in the changing stall in front of us, putting on his new outfit. Liz has outdone herself with picking Birdies outfit. After hearing about his pride in his Canadian heritage and his love of maple syrup and polar bears, she decided to go off of that. After having him refuse several short sleeved shirts, she brought out the perfect long sleeved shirt that Birdie instantly took to. We are now waiting outside the changing stall while Birdie puts it on with the rest of his outfit.

After about five minutes, Birdie opens the curtain and steps out. My eyes grow wide as I take in the site before me. I'm really going to owe Liz for this. He looks amazing. He's clad in black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a chain hanging from the belt loops. He has a belt with studs of varying shades of red on it and several woven bracelets that Elizavetta gave him. He's got on his worn red converse sneakers that compliment the outfit perfectly, and a bear claw is hanging from his neck on a leather string. The shirt, though, is perfect. It is a white, long sleeved shirt under a grey, short sleeved one that has a polar bear sketch on it with maple leaves around it.

Overall, Matt looks really great. One would even say he looks hot. I shock myself with this thought. I've known I'm bi for a long time, but only Ludwig, Vatti, Rodreich, and Elizavetta know about it. As I examine the boy in front of me I wonder if it's possible to have fallen for this violet eyed beauty in such a short amount of time.

Liz is gushing over how cute he looks, making a light blush spread over his cheeks and his lips curl into a small smile. My heart melts at the sight. I've never felt this way towards someone before. I want to hold and protect him, and make him smile like that every single day. He's so beautiful when he smiles like that. It's at that moment that I realize I've fallen head over heals for the shy Canuke.

What the hell am I thinking! I don't even know if he's gay or not! Well, who cares? Right now, I'll just get to know him better and be his friend. If I find out that he's gay, then I'll tell him my feelings. If he's not gay, then I'll just keep my feelings a secret and stay his friend.

"Hey, Gil, do you like it?" Birdie's voice breaks me away from my thoughts. I look back at him and see him looking up at me with those violet eyes, wanting to hear my opinion.

I smile softly, ruffle his hair lightly, and say, "You look awesome, Birdie. So, how much will this cost me Liz?"

"Wait a second! I can't let you pay for this, Gil," Birdie objects. "I don't want to be a burden on you. I'll pay for it myself. You've already done so much for me."

His last statement confuses me. All I've done is comfort him when he was crying, promised to be his friend, and hang out with him at the mall. This is all normal stuff people do for their friends; yet for some reason he's acting like I've saved him from the grips of death.

"I haven't done anything that entirely great, Birdie. I've just done what anyone who's the awesome me would do for a friend. Besides, if you were a burden then I wouldn't be offering to pay. Plus, I get rewards here, 'cause I shop here so often," I explain.

"Okay….I guess. And that's not true, Gil. You've done more for me than anyone else ever has. Any other person wouldn't have done anything," Birdie replies, looking up at me with an expression of true sadness on his face.

"What do you mean, "wouldn't have done anything", Birdie?" I inquire, looking at him intently.

He fidgets under my gaze and scratches at his wrists. "I'll tell you another time, maybe. Okay, Gil? Let's just enjoy the rest of today, okay?"

I sigh in defeat as he gives me the most adorable puppy dog eyes ever. "Fine. Go get changed and Liz can ring us up."

"Okay," he chirps, reminding me even more of a cute little bird. I walk up to the counter and Liz prepares to ring the clothes up.

"Gil, I'm worried about that kid," she says suddenly, looking up at me with a serious face.

"I know. So am I," I reply with a sigh. It's the truth, too.

"Really? You're worried about a human being other than yourself?" she says in mock surprise. Her face becomes serious once more as she continues. "I'm serious, Gil. Something is up with that kid. He's hiding something, and I think that it has to do with the reason he won't show us his arms. I have a feeling that it's more than just being shy."

"I know. I'm going to help this kid, Liz. I WANT to help him. I've never wanted to help someone as much as I do him. Besides maybe West when we were little, but that's different. West's mien bruder; this kid…he's different, Liz. I've never felt like this about someone, yet it's like he's made of glass, and if I touch him or get too close then he'll shatter," I explain to her. Elizavetta has always been one of my best friends, despite her love of attacking me with frying pans. I know that if I can trust anyone about this, it's her.

"Just don't break his heart. I see how you look at him, and I don't want either of you hurt," she says softly to my shocked face.

"We won't get hurt, Liz. At least, he won't. I swear, I will make sure that boy is happy no matter what, even if that means giving up mien own happiness for him," I say to her.

She sighs and merely replies with, "Just be careful. Hey Matt! You ready to ring up your clothes?"

"Yes please," Birdie says quietly, smiling.

We pay for the clothes, bid Liz farewell, and head off to explore more of the mall.

Matthew's POV

We leave Hot Topic after paying for the outfit. I'm not sure how Arthur will react if he sees it. Well, if he takes the time to pay attention to me long enough to notice it. Gil and I wander around the mall some more until I hear Gil's stomach growl loudly. I giggle as a blush spreads across his face.

"Hungry, Gil?"

"Yeah, a little bit. You wanna grab some lunch at the food court?" Gil asks.

"Sure."

We head to the food court and grab some pizza. We find a small, two-person table in a secluded corner of the food court where it's slightly less noisy, emphasis on slightly, and start eating. Gil passes little pieces of pizza crust up to Gilbird, who is sitting in his hair still, getting crumbs in his silver locks.

"Gil, you're getting food in your hair," I tell him with a giggle.

Gil takes Gilbird off of his head and shakes out all of the crumbs, sending them flying everywhere. I laugh and he breaks into that wide grin of his. Gilbird hops around on the table and looks up at me with his little black eyes. I smile at how innocent he looks.

"Hey, I've got one more place I wanna go before we go home. Okay, Birdie?" Gil says suddenly.

"Sure. Which store?" I ask, assuming that he's talking about one that's in the mall.

"Just a little shop not far from the mall; it's kind of like an antique shop in that it has a whole bunch of little odds and ends and stuff, but you can also get stuff custom made. One of the people who runs the shop does leather working as a hobby, and I know them, so they sometimes make custom made stuff for me," Gil explains as we get up and leave the mall. We head to Gil's car and head off towards the mysterious little store.

Gil drives to a small shop in a less visited part of town about ten minutes from the mall. The sign above the door says "Tulips and Trinkets". We enter the shop, and I'm surrounded instantly by such a wide variety of color, patterns, and objects that I have to close my eyes against the bombardment of my senses.

Gil and I carefully maneuver in between the huge piles, for lack of a better word, of stuff to the back of the shop. There's a clear area there with an overstuffed armchair, a small table, and a counter with a door leading to some kind of backroom behind it. Gil walks up to the counter and rings the bell loudly several times.

After a few minutes without an answer, Gil rings it again and we hear a thump from the back room.

"I'm coming," a gruff voice growls from the back room. It sounds grumpy and annoyed, as if whoever spoke it was just being woken up from a nap. A moment later, a tall man with cold, blue eyes and blonde hair that seems to defy gravity with the way it's spiked up walks out through the doorway. He has a pipe in his mouth, but it's not lit. I can tell he smokes it often, though, because I can smell the faint scent of pipe smoke wafting off of him. He has a long, blue and white stripped scarf wrapped around his neck. His eyes look at us, lingering on me for a few moments longer than I would have liked.

He turns to Gil and says in a thick Dutch accent, "What can I do for you, Gilbert?"

"I wanna introduce you to a special friend. This is Matthew Williams. I met him at school today and we're hanging out. Thought he would like your little shop," Gil responds.

"It's nice to meet you," I say, stepping forward to extend my hand to the tall Dutchman.

"The pleasure is all mine, little tulip. My name is Lars," he says, taking my hand and kissing the knuckles. His eyes look at me the whole time and I feel my cheeks flush a deep crimson. At the sight of my blush, his eyes flash a glint of feral amusement.

Gil notices the gleam in his eyes, puts an arm around me protectively, and says in a low, warning voice, "Careful, Lars. You can't touch this one. He's not your."

His voice is calm and level, yet at the same time, hints at a harsh and deadly threat that I have no doubt would be followed through should his words be ignored.

Lars merely smirks at his words, but does release my hand, which I am very greatful for.

This man's stares are slightly unnerving and make me uncomfortable. It's like I'm a toy for his amusement, and I don't like it. Despite the looks, I have a feeling that Lars means no harm, and that he's just joking.

Gil relaxes once Lars releases my hand and suggests that I go check out the rest of the store. He tells me that he wants to talk to Lars about something in private. I take him up on his offer, sending him a smile.

"Oh! If you see a woman with short, blonde hair with a ribbon in it, make sure to introduce yourself. Her name's Bella. She runs the place with me," Lars tells me before I walk off to explore the store and he and Gil head into the back room for their private talk.

After a little while of weaving in and out between shelves piled high with all a manner of nick knacks and other little odds and ends, I run into a pretty blonde women that looks only two or three years older than Gil. She's arranging things on a shelf when I see her and doesn't notice me at first. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns to me, giving me a warm smile.

"Hello! Who might you be?" she asks in a cherry voice.

"I'm Matthew Williams. Are you Bella? Lars told me that I should introduce myself if I ran into you. Gilbert Beilschmidt brought me here," I tell her.

"Yes I am Bella. So you're a friend of Gil? That's so wonderful. I didn't think he would have made any friends so soon after moving. I didn't think he'd have such a cute one at that," she replies, with a wink. My cheeks flush pink causing her to laugh. Her laugh is nice, like a bunch of bubbles.

"So how do you know our Gilly?" she inquires as she turns to continue her work on the shelves.

"We're classmates. We just came here from hanging out at the mall. He's a nice guy. I'm surprised he hasn't forgotten me yet, though."

"What do you mean? Gilbert never forgets a friend. He may not look it, but Gilbert is extremely loyal to his friends and will never forget someone once he lets them into his heart," she tells me, giving me a curious look.

"Really?"

She nods her head.

I'm surprised; I would never have thought that Gilbert what that kind of person. He seems so different from that.

"So, how does Gilbert know you and Lars?" I ask her, curious as to how Gilbert knows her. I like Bella; she's so kind and bright.

"Oh, we've known Gil for a long time. Our mothers knew each other before his passed away."

"Oh. He told me that he was in an accident when he was small," I tell her.

"Gil told you about the crash," she says, a shocked look on her face. "Wow, you really must be special. Gil has never told anyone about the crash. He still doesn't like to talk about it with his brother and grandfather, and avoids the subject at all costs. You must really be important to him."

I blush at the unexpected compliment.

"Well, anyway, you keep looking around and come up to the counter if you see anything you wanna buy, okay? See you in a bit. Oh, and if you need any help, just ask me, Lars, or our helper. He's around here somewhere. Tall guy with dark skin and black dreads. He should be in a bright Hawaiian shirt. You can't miss him."

I nod, and she hurries away towards the front desk. I wander around for about ten or fifteen minutes. The store is full of interesting little things. I stop after spotting something that catches my eye. It's a small sculpture of an eagle. It's not a bald eagle; in fact, it's a species that I can't place. I lean in to get a closer look at it. I admire the craftsmanship. It's a beautiful piece of work, with great attention paid to the head, talons, and especially the feathers. They look so real that they look like they would be soft if I were to reach out and touch them.

I'm so engrossed in the sculpture that I don't hear footsteps approaching. Someone clears their throat; I turn towards the noise and freeze in fear. I'm staring into the face of my cousin; the one who molested me for a year when I was small. The last time I saw him was at his criminal trial ten years ago, where he was sentenced to fifteen years in prison. I tell myself that it can't possibly be him, because he's still in jail. I take another look at the man in front of me to try and find some different in his face from that of my cousins. He has Dark brown skin and black hair in dreads. His Brown eyes: an almost exact copy of my cousins. He has a large, strong build, with a bit of a stomach, a bit of stubble on his chin, and the smell of cigarettes hangs around him.

He smiles kindly and holds out his hand saying, "Hi, I'm John Doe. You must be the boy Bella was talking about, Matthew, right? She said that I should introduce myself to you if I saw you."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Oh, she said, 'Look for a kid that has wavy blonde hair with one random curl to the side who's wearing glasses and a red hoodie with a maple leaf on it'," he tells me.

"I see," I reply in a meek voice, still not taking his hand. This man looks so much like my cousin; the one who was the center of my fear for so many years. After a bit, I decide to give this man the benefit of the doubt, but to be very careful around him. I know that my cousin should still be in jail, but this man just gives me a bad feeling; so I must use caution around him.

I take his hand and shake it tentatively. The whole time, he wears a warm smile on his face. I try to pull my hand back, but find it caught in the man's vice-like grip. He tugs me forward and whispers to me, his warm breath ghosting over my ear," I've missed you Matthew. It's been so many years since I've gotten to touch you. I never thought that you would walk right into my arms like this."

My whole body goes rigid as my fears are confirmed. This man is Carlos, my cousin, who I thought I was safe from after so many years. He's found me again, and I fear that this time, he won't let me escape.

I can't move; I'm too afraid of the man who's standing before me. My mind is screaming at me to run, to get away from Carlos, to scream, to run to Gilbert, yet my body is petrified by my overwhelming fear of this man.

Carlos pulls back and looks at me with an expression of lust and triumph on his face. He knows that he's got me and that I am too scared to try and escape. He says, "Don't think of telling anyone, or that albino friend who's looking for you gets it. Understand?"

I'm able to nod my head as Carlos releases his grip on me, his fake, friendly smile gracing his face once more, just as Gilbert turns the corner into the aisle that we're in.

"Hey Birdie! I've been looking for you. You see anything you like?"

I do my best to put on a fake smile and show him the sculpture I had been looking at before Carlos had found me. He smiles at the sight of it. It's a surprisingly soft smile that has a hint of pride in it.

"Hey do you know what kind of bird that is, Birdie?" he asks me.

I shake my head and he smiles wider.

"It's a Prussian eagle. It's the bird of my country," he says with great pride.

"I thought you were German," I say, giving him a confused look.

"Technically I'm from East Germany, the area that used to be Prussia. Mein Mutti's side of the family is descended from one of the Prussian kings, King Fredrick the Great. He is said to have been the nation's best king. I got all of my genes from her side of the family, so I consider myself to be Prussian, while West got all of his from our Vater's side, so he's just plain German," he explains to me.

"West?"

"Yeah, that's my nickname for Ludwig. He was born in the west side of Germany and his bedroom has always been on the west , while I was born in East Germany, where Prussia used to be, und mien bedroom has always been on the east side of the house. Since he's always been west of me, I decided that I'd call him West. Likewise, he calls me East."

"Oh, I see. That's cool," I say, looking back at the statue of the Prussian eagle.

"Hey, John, how much does this little statue cost?" Gil says, turning to my cousin.

"Eighteen dollars. You can check out with Bella or Lars. I gotta go now; it's just about my break. Care to join me out back for a smoke, Matt?" Carlos replies, turning to me with an innocent smile. I know that his smile is hiding malicious intent beneath it, and I shy away from him a bit.

"No, thank you," I say in a quiet voice.

"Awe, Come on. You don't have to smoke if you don't want to. I just want someone to talk to so I can get to know you better."

"Why don't you go with him Birdie? John's a cool guy, you guys you get along well," Gil says, completely oblivious to the danger this man is to me.

"I-I'm not feeling too well, and I'd just like to go if you don't mind," I lie to him. I feel really bad about lying to Gil, but I'm desperate to get away from Carlos.

"Okay Birdie. We can go, but I want to get this first. I like it," Gil tells me and gently lifts the sculpture from the shelf.

"Merci Gilbert," I say and stay close to Gil as we walk away from Carlos to pay and then leave the store.

A/N: Oh my god I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry guys for taking so long. I had the end of school and then when I tried to type the last two pages of this at my mom's house I found out that we don't have Microsoft word downloaded on that computer. Luckily I am at my dad's house this week and he does have it so I plan to get another chapter out this week, maybe two since I'll be at his office and have access to a computer. So please forgive me for taking so long.

Also danke, merci, gracias, grazie, thank you a million times over for all of your support. It means so much to me that you guys like this and continue to read it despite me being super slow. I hope to be updating more often now that the summer is here and I'll have more free time so I'll try to do my best to make up for being super slow during the school year.

Also I hope you guys like the outfit that I designed for Matthew and I'd like to let you know that I'm actually going to be making that very outfit only it's going to be on a white t-shirt and not grey and it will have short sleeve. I will post pictures of it on deviant art as soon as I'm done it.

Translations:

All of the German and French in this chapter is pretty simple stuff that everyone I think knows here. If you don't then just message me if you would like to know what something means.

Now here are a few words from my awesome and wonderful Beta Sakura414:

I don't know about any of you, but this chapter seriously freaked me out! TTATT Wolf-chan is wonderful as usual, but things are getting super intense! Poor little Mattie... Anyway, on behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you all for reading!


	9. Chapter 9: Dark Secrets, Exposed At Last

So since school is officially out I am going to be hopefully updating faster. This chapter is a big I'm sorry for taking so long with the last one. It took so long due to the end of the school year. I had to try and bring up grades and worry about finals, I'm pretty confident in them all except science since I really did not get it but I'm pretty sure I did a decent job. I'm also super confident that I got an A+ on my History final. Thank You Hetalia, I kid you not, I used Hetalia in my notes. Every time a countries name came up I drew their flag and on stuff like the Franco-Prussian war I drew a picture of Prussia Kicking France's butt. SO yeah anyone who says anime is not productive in the least ,tell them they can leich mein Arsch cause It helped me get a kick ass grade on my history final.

So anyway, enough of my rambling; on to the Story!

Here you go: Chapter 9 ^-^

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><p><span>Chapter IX<span>

Matthew's POV

I stay tense until we pull away form the store. Gil is giving me concerned looks the whole time.

"Hey, you okay, Birdie?" he asks after we're a little ways from the store.

I jump a bit in surprise and nod my head yes.

"You sure? You seem really tense. You want me to take you home?"

"No, I'm okay. I'll be fine," I assure him, though I'm attempting to assure myself at the same time.

"Okay, if you insist. Hey, you wanna sleep over at my house tonight?"

I pause to think about it for a moment. No one's ever invited me to sleep over at their house before, but I decide that I don't want my time with him to end yet.

"I'd love to, Gil. I'll just need to give my parents a call so they know where I am."

"No problem," he says.

I use my cell to call Francis and leave a message on his voicemail saying that I'll be spending the night with a friend. When I finish, we're already at Gil's street and pulling up to his house. We enter to find Ludwig and Gil's grandfather in the kitchen.

"Hey, Vatti! Can Matthew sleep over here tonight?" Gil asks him with his usual cocky grin plastered across his face. His grandfather looks at me for a moment before turning back to Gil.

"Das is fine. Just behave and don't stay up too late," he says finally.

"Danke Vatti!" Gil grins wide and drags me down to his basement.

The basement has been transformed into a large game room with a huge television hooked up to an Xbox, Wii, and PS3. There's even a karaoke system hooked up to it. There's a huge couch, about20 bean bag chairs, and even more large pillows scattered all over the floor.

~~~Several hours later~~~

After getting my butt kicked in Modern Warfare 2, Gil kept snipping me from the tower on a map called Rust- we switch to Super Smash Brothers Brawl. This is a game that I'm actually really good at when I use the character Pit.

After a while of Kicking Gil's butt up and down every stage in the game, we take a break.

"Man you're good, Birdie. How'd you get so good? Surely you've got some kind of secret," Gil asks me, relaxing back on his couch.

I relax back into the large bean bag I'm sitting in and shrug. "I play it with my brother sometimes and I only ever use Pit, so I have his moves memorized and have gotten really good at using him," I tell him.

"That's awesome, Birdie."

We sit for a bit in a comfortable silence. It's only broken when our stomachs decide to growl at the same time, creating a grumbling harmony. We laugh and Gil suggests we get something to eat. I agree, and we head up to the kitchen in search of food.

Gil grabs a root beer and offers me one, but I turn it down and just have water. Gil heats up some kind of German sausage that he calls wurst and tosses me a roll of bread. We head back down to the basement with our food and start to eat.

"So tell me some more about yourself, Birdie. I hardly know anything about you, besides what you told me earlier at the mall. I want to know more," Gil tells me as we settle in to our previous seats.

I think for a moment before saying, "Well, there's not much more than what I already told you. I'm Canadian, I love hockey, I'm a good cook and according to my brother my pancakes are heaven on Earth, and I think maple syrup is the source of all happiness in life."

"I still have no idea what Pancakes or maple syrup are. You'll have to make them for me sometime," he says.

"Deal," I say with a smile. If there is one thing that I'm proud of about myself, it is my ability to cook a mean plate of pancakes. According to Alfred, they're the best things next to hamburgers.

After that, we eat in silence for a bit. The sausages and bread are actually quite good. When we finish, Gil takes our plates up. I stay in my seat and watch his back as he leaves.

I've known I'm gay for a long time, and Gilbert has been so nice to me. He's treated me with more kindness than anyone else ever has. I don't know why he's doing it, but I know without a doubt that I've fallen for him.

I mean, with his pale skin, silver hair, and captivating crimson eyes, It's no surprise I've fallen for the self-proclaimed Prussian boy. However, he's too magnificent to be with someone as plain and invisible as me. I'll just enjoy the attention for now until he forgets me like everybody else.

The thought of Gilbert forgetting me makes my chest instantly tighten and an overwhelming sadness wash over me. That sickeningly familiar feeling rises in me. As the urge grows, I quickly realize that I will not be able to ignore it this time.

I stand and hurry off towards the bathroom that Gil showed me earlier, feeling the razor I always keep with me, cold against the skin of my ankle where it is hidden away in my sock.

I need to cut. I need to cut NOW.

Gilbert's POV

I take Birdie and my plates up to the kitchen. I do this partly because Vatti and Ludwig would chew my ass out if I didn't clean up, and the other part is because I need to get away from Birdie for a moment to think.

I need to ask Birdie about what happened earlier at school. I'm also curious as to why he never takes off his hoodie. I have a feeling that I know the answer, but I just pray that I'm wrong. I have so many questions that need answers, and I have a feeling that Birdie is the only one who can give them to me.

I think over how I'm going to approach him. I need to be careful. I don't want him to feel threatened at all or to freak out and run away from me. I just want to help him, and scaring him away will be counter productive.

It's strange, feeling this way towards another. I've never been so protective or caring towards anyone else before. Well, except for Ludwig, but he's my brother, so it different from how I feel for Birdie. I really care about Birdie, and I truly want to help him. It's odd. I guess that this is what it feels like to love someone who's not your family. After I help him, maybe it could be possible for him to return my feelings. But first, I need to figure out the answers to my many questions.

I take a deep breath and head back downstairs, only to find it empty. I look around for him. Where could he have gone? Maybe the bathroom?

I hurry back upstairs to the bathroom that I showed Birdie earlier. I see the light on through the space at the bottom of the door. I knock and hear a gasp from the other side and a hiss of pain.

"Birdie…are you okay?" I call through the door, fidgeting slightly, starting to get nervous as I hear something that sounds like a repressed sob.

Birdie's crying? My face hardens instantly at the thought. What the hell is going on? Why the fick is Birdie crying? I need to get to the bottom of this and NOW.

After finding the door is locked, I back up slightly and kick the door with all my strength. I hear a crack and the door slams open, revealing a sight that I never want to see again as long as I live.

Birdie is on his knees in front of me, his violet eyes red and puffy as tears threaten to spill down his cheeks. The sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up to his elbows, revealing arms covered in scars that criss cross down their entire lengths. There are several fresh cuts from which blood is dripping steadily. The blade of a razor is clutched so tightly in Birdie's hand that his knuckles turn white as he stares back at me with wide eyes full of fear, sadness, self-loathing, shock, and heartbreaking loneliness. It's the kind of loneliness you'd expect from someone who has not felt love in a long, long time.

It takes all of one second of Birdie and me staring at each other in horror before my mind finally registers that the sight in front of me is real and not in my imagination.

"Oh mein gott!" I scream as I rush forward, dropping to my knees in front of Birdie. I yank the razor from his fingers and fling it across the room. I grab towels from under the sink, wrap them around Birdie's arms, and apply pressure to try and stop the bleeding.

I look up into pale violet eyes with a look of worry, caring, and pleading.

"Why, Birdie? Why did you do this to yourself? What made you feel unawsome enough to do this!"

I look into his eyes, trying to see some kind of explanation hidden in their lavender depths. After a few seconds, those pools of violet fill with more tears, which begin to trail down my precious Birdie's cheeks.

I can't stand seeing Birdie cry. It just breaks my awesome heart. Without thinking of the possible consequences, I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. He lets out a surprised squeak, then relaxes a bit before bursting into tears against me. He sobs openly into my chest as I hold him close to me. I stroke his hair gently and whisper to him, "Shhh, shhh. it's okay Birdie. Everything is going to be okay. Just let it all out."

I continue holding him and stroking his hair until he's done crying. When he's quieted down enough, I release him from my tight hug. I unwrap the towels from his forearms so that I can inspect the extent of the damage that Birdie has caused himself. I get a clean hand towel and soak it in warm water. I use it to gently wipe away the blood, some of which has dried by now. I dab rubbing alcohol on them, causing him to hiss in pain and try to pull his arms away from me. I stroke his hair gently and whisper words of soothing and encouragement to him. I try to be as comforting as I can. I bandage his arms and lead him back down to the basement, my mind swimming with even more questions then before.

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><p><strong>AN**: Well what do you think? Gilbert knows now! I cut it off right before the good part though. KESESESE I am so evil! I will make sure that I hurry and upload the next chapter soon though. I will not be able to type this weekend though due to me going away to Hershey Park with my mom, her boyfriend, and my little brother. Wish me luck, I have to share a bed with my brother and I am NOT good at sharing a bed with ANYONE.

Anyway give me your feedback I love to here it and tell me what you think! I love to here it and any suggestions for more. OH and I have decided that Reviewer 60 will get a one-shot so please review!

Translations:

German:

Vatti-dad

Das- that

Danke-thank you

Fick-fuck

Mein-my

Gott-god

Here are some words from my fantastic an wonderful BetaSakura414:

(Wolf-chan started calling herself Wolf-chan? I feel like a trend-setter!) *sigh* Alright, readers. What do you say we kidnap Gil, clone him, distribute the clones amongst ourselves, and then throw him back to Mathew? Seriously, everyone needs someone like this! He's so sweet! As always, on behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you all for reading!

SO yeah, Until next time mein kleiner leiblings!

~Wolf-chan out.


	10. Chapter 10: My Story Told At Last

Okay so before I get to the story I have something I have to tell you my wonderful readers. I would just like to say thank you for all of your absolutely amazing and wonderful reviews. They have made me happier then you could ever imagine. I have actually been proposed to twice and have seen how much you all love this story. Your guys feedback is so wonderful and it reminds me every time I read them why I'm writing this story in the first place. Thank you so much all of your from the very bottom of my heart.

And here without further adieu; I know you have all been waiting patiently for it…Chapter 10. ^-^ Enjoy.

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><p><span>Chapter X<span>

Matthew's POV

Gilbert leads me back to the basement after rebandaging my arms. Ever since he burst through the bathroom door, I haven't been able to stop thinking: _He knows! He knows! He's going to think I'm a freak and leave me just like everyone else. I don't want to be alone again._

I was really shocked when he hugged me and tried to comfort me, even if I couldn't hear him. My mind blocked out what he was saying due to the shock of being discovered. I let him treat my cuts and lead me back to his basement. I sit back sown on the couch and just stare at my limp hands in my lap. Gil pulls up a chair across from me an sits with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped tightly in front of him. Neither of us say anything for a long time. I don't look at him for fear of seeing disappointment, hate, or, worst of all, disgust in his eyes.

After what seems like hours, I hear Gilbert say in a voice softer than I thought was possible for the loud Prussian teen, "Birdie?"

"Yes?" I reply in a small voice, unwilling to meet his eyes for the shame of knowing that he now knows my darkest secret.

"Birdie…Matthew…please look at me. Please tell me what's wrong. Why did you…hurt yourself…like that?" I hear him say as if he's having difficulty choosing he right words to use.

I'm scared of loosing the first friend I've ever really had by telling him why it is that I have been pushed to do something like this, so I choose to stay silent. Unfortunately, however, this tactic will not work with Gilbert.

"Birdie…please look at me," Gilbert says gently but sternly. My whole body is shaking as I look up slowly at Gilbert, avoiding eye contact.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Birdie. Why did you do something this unawesome to yourself? Please tell me."

I stay silent as I try to think of a way to respond. I want to tell Gilbert everything. I feel that I can trust him, but my fear keeps me quiet.

As if he can read my mind, Gilbert reaches out and takes my hands in his. He rubs his thumbs across my knuckles in a comforting way. One of his hands comes up to cup my cheek, making me look into his eyes. They're full of sadness, worry, and something else that I can't place.

"Birdie, please trust me. I want to help you. I know we only met today, but I have this feeling for you. It's strange. I've never felt like this towards anyone else in my entire life but I know that I don't want it to go away. I'm not even sure if you swing like this, but Birdie….I-I like you, Birdie…like…a LOT. I think that I might love you even. No, I'm sure that I do. Ich liebe dich, Birdie," Gilbert says softly. A light dusting of pink spreads itself across his perfect, pale features.

Am I dreaming? Did Gilbert, the first person to remember me and be my friend and actually show me kindness since my father's death, just say that he loves me? I stare at him in shock, my eyes wide in disbelief. He can't really mean it, can he? How can someone as handsome and wonderful and, dare I say it, awesome as Gilbert love me? I'm so plain and boring. There's nothing special about me. How can anyone love me? Is he telling me the truth? If he is, could this possibly be my chance to finally find happiness? Can I finally be free of the demons of my past?

After a few minutes of me staring at Gilbert in shock without replying, Gil starts to fidget. He looks sad and almost heartbroken.

"I'm sorry Birdie. I didn't mean to shock you so badly. It was stupid of me to think you would return my feelings after such a short time, or at all even. If you don't feel the same way, then I understand. I don't even know if you're gay or not. I'm so sor-"

I cut Gilbert off by leaning forward into him and pressing my lips against his to silence him. I feel Gil's body stiffen in surprise and I fear that I may have done something wrong.

I start to pull back, but strong arms wrap around me and pull me against Gilbert's body as he begins to kiss me back. I freeze in surprise like he did a moment before, but after a second, I melt into his embrace, returning the kiss wholeheartedly. It feels so wonderful, so right, to be in Gil's arms as he kisses me passionately and lovingly. I feel like I'm flying as Gilbert's hand cups the back of my head and the other rests on the small of my back. I feel like I'm in heaven in his arms, and I never want it to end.

We must pull away eventually, however, so that we can breath. I look into Gilbert's eyes and see they're full of caring, want, and love. The look in his crimson eyes as he stares back into my own violet orbs banishes any fear I may still have. I swallow and say, "Gilbert, don't apologize. I love you, too."

Gilbert's eyes light up in joy as I tell him that his feelings for me are reciprocated, and he holds me close. He connects our lips even more, and I feel his tongue brush along my lower lip, asking for entrance. I oblige, opening my lips to allow his tongue entrance. His tongue maps out my mouth, brushing against my own and rubbing against it. Our tongues dance before I am forced to submit to his. He gently sucks on my bottom lips and I sigh contently.

I reach up to tangle my fingers in his soft, silver hair as his own pale fingers stroke my own soft locks. We continue to explore each others mouths until once more we must break away for air. I see love in his eyes, and I know that I can trust him. I want to give my heart and soul to this boy, but I know that before I can do that I must give him the answers that I know he wants. I need to tell him the truth behind my cuts.

I scoot back, away from Gilbert enough so I can sit back down. He gives me a worried look as I do and slides his arms away until he's holding my hands again. He gives me a questioning look.

I take a deep breath and say, "Gilbert…um…I-"

I'm stopped by a finger on my lips.

"Birdie, I know that whatever it is that has pushed you to this is really painful for you to talk about. You don't have to tell me yet if it's too painful for you still," Gilbert tells me softly with an understanding smile. I shake my head vigorously.

"No! I want to tell you…it's just…it's really hard for me to think about," I say, my voice growing very quiet as I say the last part. Gilbert sits next to me and hugs me.

"Why don't we go get changed into pajamas? It'll give you time to collect your thoughts. Sound good?"

I nod my head and we go up to his bedroom. I sit on the bed and watch Gilbert rummage through his dresser. He tosses me a pair of red and black plaid pajama pants and pulls out a light blue pair with yellow chicks all over it for himself. I giggle upon seeing them; a light blush spreads over Gil's pale cheeks when I say, "Cute."

He sticks his tongue out at me, but laughs and strips himself of his shirt.

I blush at getting a view of his strong chest and abs. He has several small scars on his torso. He turns around and I gasp. Multiple scars cover his back. The most prominent one runs from the left side of the back of his neck to his right hip.

He turns back to me with a curious expression as if wanting to ask why I gasped, however, once he sees my expression and he seems to understand.

"It's from the accident. I got banged up pretty bad. I protected West with my body and took most of the damage," he tells me and I nod in understanding. He grins then takes off his pants, revealing Prussian flag printed briefs. I blush and look away. I grab the pajama pants that Gil gave to me and mumble that I'm gonna change in the bathroom. He grabs my elbow to stop me.

I turn back to face him and he says, "I'll turn around and won't look. I promise, okay? I just don't want you to be alone right now."

I nod and he turns and faces the wall as I quickly change into the pajama pants. When I finish, I tap his shoulder and he turns back to face me. His eyes widen when he sees I left off my hoodie and shirt revealing my bandages, scars, and the bruises from getting beat up by Matthias earlier today. I decided that if I'm going to tell him the truth, then I'm not going to hide behind my hoodie while I do it.

Gil takes my hand and brings my fingers to his lips so he can kiss them. I blush at the action, and he kisses my forehead. With a gentle tug, he pulls me to sit with him on his bed.

"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" he suggests.

I nod, take a deep breath, and begin my tale. I don't know how long we sit like that as I tell him everything. I tell him about my parent and my cousin, how my dad died on 9/11 and my mom committing suicide on my sixth birthday. How Arthur and Francis adopted me. I tell him about being constantly overshadowed by Alfred and how no one ever sees me, much less remembers me if they do actually notice me. I explain to him how I'm constantly getting beat up by Ivan and how everyone else beats me up because they all think I'm Alfred. I describe to him how I started cutting and how it helps me relieve my pain.

I tell him everything, except for the fact that my cousin and Carlos, who Gilbert knows as John Doe, are one and the same person, I can't risk Gil getting hurt if Carlos chooses to make true his treat.

Gilbert's POV

As I listen to Birdie's story, I get more and more horrified with each detail. Gott, how can all this happen to someone as sweet and perfect and amazing as him?

When he finally finishes, I don't know what to say. What can you say to someone who has seen the worst of the world at such a young age and believes themselves to be an invisible and useless waste of space?

I just pull Birdie into my lap and hold him gently. It feels like he's made of glass, so fragile that the lightest touch will shatter him. I just I just hold him close. I feel him shaking and can tell he's trying to be strong and not cry in front of me.

I hold him closer and whisper softly, "Its okay, Birdie. Just let it out. I know that you're trying to hold it in, to be strong, but you don't have to. I'm here for you, Birdie. You don't have to hold it all in anymore. You can cry on me, Birdie. Just let it out."

I hear a choked sob and the dam holding Birdie's tears in breaks. He sobs into me, pressing his face into my chest. I just let him release all of the pent up sadness and pain in his heart. I stroke his soft, blonde hair and rub his back. I rock back and forth gently and just allow him to let it all out into my chest as I hold him in my arms.

After a long time, he calms down and his crying comes to a stop. I continue to comfort him and stroke his back gently. I start to sing softly; it's a quiet song that my mother would sing to me when I felt like the whole world was against me. I've never sung it to anyone else, because it was too painful to remember my mother, yet I find myself wanting to sing it to birdie, so I do.

"Ja, Birdie?"

"Merci. You're the first person to ever take the time to listen to my story. I've never told anyone any of that before. You're the first one. I've never been able to trust anyone like how I trust you, Gil. Je taime. I love you. Thank you so much for loving me back and listening to me," he says.

"It's nothing, Birdie. I love you. You're precious to me, and I will do anything I can to protect you and keep anything else bad from happening to you. I vow to help you, Birdie. You're too wonderful and beautiful to be crying, so I'm going to make sure that no one ever makes you cry again," I respond. I gently take hold of Birdie's chin and tilt his head up so that our eyes are gazing into each other. I love this boy so much, and what I want more than anything else is to see him smile. I swear to myself that I will make sure that Birdie smiles every single day from now on, just so I can see that breathtaking smile.

I gently bring our lips together to seal my promise, and he relaxes in my arms. When we break apart, he lets out a loud yawn.

I laugh and suggest that we head to sleep. Birdie nods sleepily in agreement. We both climb under the covers on my bed, and I wrap my arms around Birdie lithe frame and hold him close.

We fall asleep just like that. I can't possibly be happier. I have a beautiful boy who I love more than anything in the world. Said boy is currently in my arms, curled up asleep against my chest. As I drift off into my own slumber, I think of how, at this moment, nothing could possibly make the awesome me happier that holding this precious boy close to me and knowing that he loves me as much as I love him.

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><p>AN: Well there you guys go; Chapter 10. I really hope you guys enjoy it and again, please continue to review it makes me so happy to read your feedback. It makes me happier then you could imagine and I hope to read even more of it in the future. I'm going to be at the beach with my Grandparents next week so I may not be able to update because I swear that if my Grandmother knew that I'm writing a story about a depressed and suicidal teenager then she would have a freak out. Wish me luck in writing more chapters and I hope to read more of your wonderful reviews soon. Thank you so much.

Now a few words from my fantastic Beta Sakura414:

I really haven't the faintest idea what to write here, so... thank you all for continuing to read and support Wolf-chan's work. ^.^ I'm still working on cloning Gil...

As always please review they make me so happy and I'll se you next time with chapter 11.

Wolf-chan out.


	11. Chapter 11: New Tastes, New Start

A/N: I'm so so sorry for taking so long. I've been taking art classes and they have been taking up literally all of my time. I also have been in a kind of rut and have been stuck writing wise. Hopefully I will be able to get out of the rut soon and get back on track so wish me luck. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please don't kill me for being so slow.

Here you go chapter 11 enjoy, ^-^

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><p><span>Chapter XI<span>

Matthew's POV

I wake up to find myself pleasantly warm, and extremely comfortable. I snuggle closer into the source of said warmth until I realize that I'm pressing myself into a warm, pale, and quite bare chest. I slowly look up and see a pair of deep crimson eyes looking down at me. I let out a squeak of surprise and try to pull away, only to be brought closer by strong, pale arms as Gilbert holds me close to his chest.

"Morning Birdie," he says softly and places a soft kiss on my forehead. I gasp as the memories of last night comeback to me. I remember Gil discovering my secret and confessing tome. I also remember telling Gil my whole story about my past and why I cut. I blush in embarrassment at my closeness to Gil, which makes him chuckle softly.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask.

"You looked so adorable and peaceful. I just couldn't ruin it by waking you up," he tells me.

I blush deeper at the compliment and manage to say thank you, though it is barely more than a whisper.

"Come on. You promised to make me pancakes, didn't you? Ludwig and Vatti should already be at work. Luddy has apart time job on the weekends," Gil tells me.

"Right! You've never had pancakes before! I'm going to make you some."

He chuckles and nods in agreement, and we detangle ourselves from the sheets.

I head over to the bags that hold the clothes we got yesterday at the mall and pull out the t-shirt. I pull it on and pullout the jeans. I look at Gil and see that he's got his back turned away from me while he pulls off his pajama pants to get changed. I quickly pull off the pajama pants that Gil lent me and tug on the jeans. I pull on my shoes and thread the belt through the loops on the pants. I feel strong arms wrap around me, take the belt from my hands, and finish putting it on for me.

Gil rests his head on my shoulder and kisses my cheek. I blush pink and giggle as his breath tickles my neck.

"Stop that, Gil! It tickles! Hahaha!" I laugh and try to wiggle out of his grip. He freezes for a moment and looks at me, shocked. I stop struggling and look at him over my shoulder confused.

"What's wrong?"

He holds me closer and buries his face in my hair saying softly, "You should laugh more often Birdie. Your laugh is so beautiful to hear."

I blush and reply, "O-okay I guess."

"I mean it, Birdie. You need to laugh and smile more. You're so beautiful when you smile."

I turn scarlet, lean back against Gil, and smile. We stay like that for a little while, just enjoying being in each other's presence. That is, until our stomach decide to growl loudly.

"KESESESE! Why don't we head downstairs? I'm looking forward to eating your pancakes Birdie," Gilbert says with a grin.

I giggle and nod in agreement. We then head down to the kitchen, and I start to search around for the ingredients to make pancakes.

I find everything I need fairly quickly and tie on an apron that I find that is far too big. I quickly roll up my sleeves and set to making the batter, Gil's watchful eyes staying trained on me the whole time, though I have a feeling he was staring at my butt. It's not long before the kitchen is filled with the familiar smell of pancakes and I have a large stack forming. Once I'm done, I quickly clean up and drench both piles in maple syrup that I always keep in my backpack just in case.

I set a plate in front of Gilbert with a triumphant smile and sit down to my own plate of fluffy, maple-soaked goodness. Gilbert takes one bite and freezes, his crimson orbs growing wide like saucers.

"Gil? Are you okay?" I ask, getting a little worried. Suddenly, I'm tackled by the teen albino and find myself on my back on the floor.

"Birdie these are the greatest things I've ever tasted! Promise to make these for me all the time!" Gilbert says enthusiastically.

I laugh and reply, "Whatever you say, Gill! Just get off, you're crushing me!"

He gets off and we finish our breakfast. We quickly clean up, because according to Gilbert, both Ludwig and his Grandfather are neat freaks.

"So, Birdie, what do you want to do today?" Gilbert asks me.

I think for a bit before suggesting, "Why don't we go to the movies?"

"Sounds good to me."

We head out to his car, bringing all my stuff along so I can head home later. We arrive at the movies and spend a minute trying to decide on which movie to watch. I want to watch something light, like the 3 Stooges or the Lorax, but Gil wants to see some scary looking movie titled The Raven. It's not that I don't want to see it, I'm just not the best with really gory movies, and I've heard from Alfred that this movie has a LOT of gore in it.

I eventually give in and we get tickets to see The Raven. We go get our snacks quickly and head into the theatre. We take a seat in the back row and talk quietly until the movie starts. It is based off of a bunch of Edger Allan Poe poems and has a lot of things jumping out at you. At one point, they're searching for this missing woman and they're calling her name, "Emily! Emily!"(Beta Note: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD A/N: explanation the author's name is actually Emily.)

That shakes me a bit. Just the way they're calling he name is so eerie. At one point, there's a scene based on the poem The Pit and the Pendulum. It has a guy with an axe and I have to close my eyes, because I don't want to see any blood. I don't want to risk ruining my date with Gil by getting the urge to cut.

Gil suddenly taps my shoulder and whispers, "Hey Birdie, this movie is lame. Let's ditch it, okay?"

I nod in agreement, secretly grateful for Gil's suggestion. We leave the theater and decide to take a walk in the park that's only a few blocks away.

The sky is grey and overcast, and the air around us is cold and smells of rain soon to come. I shiver at the sudden change in temperature from the inside of the theater. Gil shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders.

"Gil, I can't take your coat. You'll be cold," I say, trying to return the jacket.

He refuses it and tells me, "It's fine. You're colder than me I'll be fine. I can't let my little Birdie freeze."

I blush and snuggle close into the warm leather. I take a deep breath and take in the his scent from the coat. It smells of wurst and beer and a touch of cologne. This smell is one that's purely unique to Gilbert, and I love it.

"Hey, Birdie?"

"Yes?" I reply, focusing my attention back on Gilbert. He's chewing on his lip and rubbing the back of his neck. He seems to be really nervous. It's an odd thing to see someone who's usually so loud and boisterous like Gilbert act so nervous. I watch him carefully while I wait for him to speak.

"Um…well…you know that I love you, Birdie. I really do care about you and well, I never got to ask you properly last night so…I want to ask if you'd go out with me? Like would you like to be my boyfriend?"

I stand frozen for a moment in shock. Did Gil really just ask me out? This is too good to be true. I must be dreaming, yet I know that I'm awake, so it must be true.

Gil starts to fidget, and I realize I've been quiet for quite a while and that I still need to give him an answer. Of course I want to go out with Gil. Nothing in the world would make me happier. I open my mouth to respond but find myself unable to speak. Since I can't answer him with my words, I'll have to do the next best thing.

I launch myself at Gilbert and press my lips against his in a feverish manner. I move my lips to try and convey my answer to him. I place my hands on the back of his neck to press myself closer to him, my fingers tangling into his surprisingly soft silver hair. I feel Gil's arms wrap around my waist and pull our bodies closer.

When we break for air, we're both panting lightly. Gil presses our foreheads together and whispers between pants, "Is that supposed to be a yes?"

I let out a breathy laugh and, after finding my voice again, reply, "Of course."

Gilbert's POV

While Birdie and I are in the movie, I notice that all the blood seems to be bothering him. I realize that it was stupid to suggest seeing something with a lot of blood. It's probably reminding him of cutting. Gott, such an unawesome move, Gil. I once again give myself a mental Gib- slap.

I quickly suggest we leave and we decide to take a walk in the park. It's cold outside and I can tell that it's going to rain soon. I shrug off my jacket, which just so happens to be my favorite black leather one with the Prussian eagle on the back of it.

I give it to Birdie and mentally squeal (It was an awesome squeal) at how cute he looks in my jacket that's much to big for him. I realize after a minute that I never asked Birdie to be my boyfriend officially.

I ask him as I chew on my lip and rub the back of my neck. Damnit! How does Birdie manage to make the awesome me so nervous? It's so unawesome to be so ner-

My mental rant about how unawesome being nervous is gets cut short by a pair of sweet lips smashing into mine and lithe hands wrapping around my neck. My eyes widen in shock, but I respond by wrapping my arms around Birdie's waist and kissing back. After what feels like forever, yet is still much too soon, we break away for air.

"Is that supposed to be a yes?" I whisper with a grin.

"Of course," I hear Birdie reply softly.

I break into a wide grin and pick birdie up, spinning him in a circle, causing him to break out into laughter. I set him back on his feet and hold him close. I bury my face into his soft, feather-like hair.

"I swear, Birdie, I won't make you regret this. I will make sure that you are happy. I promise, I won't let you be sad anymore."

I feel Birdie's grip around me tighten, and I hear a soft, "Thank you," as it is mumbled into my chest.

Suddenly, I feel a drop of rain land on my head. Before we know it, rain is coming down around us in sheets. I sweep Birdie off of his feet and sprint the few blocks to my car, carrying him bridal-style. We climb into my car and just sit there for a second in silence.

Suddenly, Birdie lets out a small laugh, then another. Next thing I know Birdie and I are laughing our heads off hysterically. When we finally calm down, we sit in silence again for a bit.

"You want to head home, Birdie? Your dads are probably gonna be getting worried if I don't get you home soon," I suggest. "Also you need to get dry. You're soaked to the bone, and I don't want you to get sick."

"Okay, you can probably borrow some clothes from my brother or something."

I start the car and start off towards Birdie's home.

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><p>AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was really fillerish. I really an truly sorry for not updating this. I hope that you guys aren't mad at me. I really have no excuse for taking so long. I just kind of have been busy with art classes and have just hit a rut. I'm getting gout of the rut now and I hope to get back on track again soon. So yeah I hope to get more chapters out to you soon. So please be patient with me. I'm so so sorry.

So here's a few words from my wonderful and fantastic Beta Sakura414:

I still don't really know what to write here... Great job as always, Wolf-chan! The Gil-cloning process is almost complete. :3

So until next time mein beautiful and amazing readers.

This is Wolf-chan signing off


	12. Chapter 12: Confusion and The Family

A/N: Hey mein awesome peoples! I'm not dead! I'm sorry for taking so long but I lost my notebook for a while. I found it again though and finished up chapter 12. I understand if you all hate me but for those of you who are patient souls and have put up with me being a complete lazy ass I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I love you all and I really hope that you forgive me for taking so long.

I've also been sick this past week. Well not really sick. My therapist prescribed me to take this pill that's supposed to help the ADHD medicine I already take. Well my body had a bad reaction to it. Ever since last Monday I've been sore all over my body, hell even my ears are sore. I've had horrible headaches and have had very little appetite, and overall just have not been myself. It really sucks especially since I'm not allowed to stop taking the medicine because it will make me go through something similar to with drawl symptoms that alcoholics get when quitting.

Overall, I'm in pain and I hate my life at the moment. However, I know that all of you beautiful people have been waiting for me so I'm going to say screw the headache and type this for you. So again, I'm terribly sorry for taking so long but he's the newest Chapter of My Red Eyed Guardian Angel.

Here we go, Chapter 12. Enjoy ^-^

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><p><span>Chapter XII<span>

Gilbert's POV

We talk about anything and everything as Birdie directs me to his house. We arrive after about ten minutes in front of a nice, two-story home. I pull up and we climb out. I grab Birdie's backpack and the shopping bag that has his dirty clothes from yesterday in it out of the backseat.

We walk up to the door and Birdie unlocks it. He opens the door and calls out, "I'm back!"

A short man with messy, straw blonde hair, bright green eyes, and the most ginormous eyebrows I've ever seen (Beta Note: IGGY BROWS) enters the front hall wearing a sweater vest with a scowl on his face.

"Who the bloody hell are you and why do you have a key to my house?" he says in an angry British accent.

I look at Birdie in confusion and see that melancholy look on his face.

He sighs as if he's used to this, which is totally unawesome if he is, and says, "Dad, it's me, Matthew, your youngest son, the one who uses the art studio in the attic."

The British man just scoffs and replies, "I have no clue what you're talking about. I only have one son and his name is Alfred, not Matthew. Now get out of my house before I call the police."

Birdie stares at the man in shock and says in a voice so small that it's barely above a whisper, "Dad."

I look at the scowling Brit and feel anger growing inside me. How dare this man treat Birdie, his own son, like this? I clench my fists so hard that my fingernails dig into my palms. I'm one second from pummeling the Brit to a pulp when we hear the door behind us open.

All three of us turn to see a tall man with wavy, blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He has alight stubble on his chin and is looking at the three people in the front hall curiously.

"Francis, can you keep these two hooligans here so I can call the police? They just came in here and one of them is claiming to be our son," the British man says to the new man.

The blue eyed man who just walked in, the Brit called him Francis I believe, looks at the Brit with a confused expression on his face. He then looks at Birdie who is fidgeting and almost hiding behind me, then looks back at the Brit.

"Arthur, this IS our son. His name is Mattieu. We adopted him when he was six years old. He has his art studio up in the attic. You always mistake him for Alfred. He won the art award hanging on the wall right behind you," Francis says in a thick French accent.

The British man, Arthur, scrunches up his face in concentration before realization washes over his features. His eyes widen in shock.

"Oh, my God…Matthew, I'm so sorry. How could I ever forget you? I'm so sorry," he says, horrified at having forgotten his youngest son.

A look of relief passes over Birdie's face, and he smiles.

"It's okay, Dad. It's not your fault, just so long as you remember now."

I look at the three of them, shocked. How can they treat this so calmly? It's like it's a regular occurrence.

"No, it's not okay, Matthew. I almost called the police on you. Let me make it up to you, please," Arthur begs.

Birdie thinks for a moment before saying, "Can papa cook dinner tonight?"

"If that's what you want, so be it," Arthur replies with a nod.

"Now that we've fixed that, may you introduce us to your little friend, mon cher?" Francis asks, looking at me in a way that makes me feel like he's undressing me with his eyes. Birdie steps out from where he was standing behind me and takes a step forward.

"Gilbert, this is my Dad, Arthur Kirkland," he says, gesturing to the British man with the huge eyebrows, "and this is my Papa, Francis Bonnafoy." He gestures to the Frenchman.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sirs. Mein name is Gilbert Beilschmidt. I'm new around here," I introduce myself, extending my hand for Francis to shake.

Arthur shakes my hand after Francis and raises one bushy eyebrow.

"So where do you come from, Gilbert?" he inquires.

"I just moved here with Mein bruder und mein großervater, from Duestchland," I explain. They give me odd looks and I realize I slipped back into German. According to Ludwig, I have a habit of doing that.

"Sorry, I have a habit of doing that without realizing it. I said that I just moved here with my brother and my grandfather from Germany," I explain.

"Ah, I see. So how did a handsome lad such as you meet our sweet little Mattieu?"

Birdie blushes scarlet, looking even more adorable then he normally does, and I have to use all my restraint to keep myself from kissing him or squealing.

"Well, I found Birdie stuck in his locker before class yesterday and he helped me find my first class. We share several of our classes," I explain.

"Yeah, and I was at Gil's house last night, and today he took me out on a…a date," Birdie says meekly.

I can't help but notice that Francis eyes seem to light up and sparkle at the word date.

"Ohonhonhon! A date, eh? So you are interested in mon petite Mattieu," He asks me waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Papa!" Birdie cries, looking absolutely mortified.

I try to stay professional so that I can make a good impression.

"With you permission, sirs, I would like to have the honor of dating your son."

Arthur looks somewhat impressed, and I hope that he is. I don't want him and Francis to try to prevent me and Birdie from being together

"Why don't you join us for dinner, Gilbert? I would like to get to know you before I judge whether or not you are worthy of dating my son," he suggests.

I swallow hard and nod my head.

"Well then. I shall have to begin dinner. Why don't you and Gil go play in you room till I call you down?" Francis suggests, and Birdies seems to visibly relax.

"Oui Papa. Merci," Birdie says, giving both of his fathers a hug before grabbing my hand and leading me up the stairs and down a hallway to a door with a maple leaf on it.

Birdie opens the door and we enter a room that could only belong to a die-hard Canadian. The walls are painted red and white, and are covered in hockey posters and signed hockey gear. Above the bed, a Canadian flag is hanging, and the duvet has the same flag printed on it.

Hockey gear sits in a corner next to a desk with a laptop covered in maple leaf stickers on it. A large dresser sits against the opposite wall and has several pictures on top of it.

On the bed is a stuffed animal, about the size of the average dog, that's a polar bear. It's curled up in a sleeping position and looks so real that I swear it looks like the thing is breathing.

Birdie closes his door and leans against it, sinking to the floor as if exhausted. I chuckle quietly.

"I'm so sorry about my parents. Dad is really strict about being a gentleman, and Papa can't seem to go five minutes without making a sexual joke," he says as he rests his head back against the door.

"Don't worry, Birdie. I care too much about you to get chased away by some crazy parents," I assure him.

I look back at his bed and approach it, getting a closer look at the polar bear that sits there.

"Cute stuffed bear," I say as I poke the nose.

Suddenly, two beady eyes open and blink at me. I stare at it with wide red orbs for a second in shock. The bear opens his mouth and chomps down on the hand that poked its nose, which was frozen in front of its face. Its teeth sink into my hand and I let out a scream (a very manly and awesome scream, mind you).

Birdie's eyes go wide and he jumps yup.

"Don't move, Gil," he tells me, rushing forward. He grabs the bear and attempts to pry its jaw open.

"Bad Kuma! Bad! Open up! Gilbert is NOT for you to eat! He is not food!"

A blonde teen runs in, screaming, "Don't fear! The hero has arrived!"

"Shut up, Al, and just help me get Kumajiro off of Gilbert!" Birdie yells at him.

At the appearance of the other blonde, the bear growls and bites down harder.

"Scieße! Just get the damn thing off of mein awesome hand," I yell in pain.

The other blonde hurries forward and grabs hold of the bear with Birdie. After several more minutes of prying and Gilbird flying down off my head to peck at the bear's head, we finally get it to let go of me. Gilbird is chirping angrily at the bear, which growls back. Somehow, after about a minute, the two animals seem to make peace. The bear pads off with Gilbird resting on his head.

We stare after them for a second in a mixture of shock and confusion before Birdie remembers my bleeding hand. He rushes me to the bathroom and pulls out a first aid kit. The other blonde kid follows us, stands at the door, and watches as Birdie cleans my hand with antibiotic.

"I'm so sorry, Gilbert. He's never done that to anyone before except Al and the Vet. I'm so so so sorry," he apologizes profusely.

"Chill, Birdie. I'll be fine. I've been through worse than this. Mind telling me, though, why you have a polar bear as a pet?"

"Oh, well he wandered out of the woods one day and seemed to take a liking to me. He's not too much of a hassle and has never gotten bigger than the size of a dog, so Arthur and Francis let me keep him. I named him after a stuffed bear that my parents gave me when I was little. I don't understand why he attacked you. He's usually very docile," Birdie explains to me.

"Yeah, what did you do to piss him off enough to make him do that?" the other blonde asks.

Now that I don't have a polar bear gnawing on my and I have a chance to better examine him, he's taller than Birdie by a few inches and has shorter hair that's sandier in color and has a cowlick sticking up over his right eye. He has black, rectangular-rimmed glasses and bright, sky blue eyes.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I'm the hero! Alfred F. Jones at your service," he says loudly with a blinding smile.

"Huh. Well, I guess the hero isn't as awesome as me, cause I'm the most awesome person ever," I reply.

The blonde instantly scowls at me.

"That's impossible! No one is more awesome than the hero, and that's me," he yells.

"Relax, Al. Be nice," Birdie says with a hint of warning in his voice. The warning is promptly ignored, or missed, as Alfred continues.

"I'm the captain of the football team, so I'm obviously more awesome than you."

"That shit you Americans call football is stupid with all the pads and crap. You want a real game, try rugby or real football, or as you call it soccer," I rebuff, smirking. Alfred now looks like he's about to murder me.

"What the hell are you saying!? Football is the greatest sport ever!" Alfred yells at me.

"Al, Stop it! Be nice!" Birdie cuts in with another warning glance at his brother.

"How can you say that, Mattie? He's insulting Football!"

"Al it's just a stupid sport. Who cares? Now leave my boyfriend alone!"

Alfred's eyes seem to bug out of his head and he yells with even more force then before.

"What?! You've been brainwashed Mattie! How can you date this guy? Just look at him! He's like the devil!"

I tense instantly, memories flashing in my mind of people giving me hate-filled stares and men threatening me with knives.

There a loud crack, and Alfred's head is turned to the side as a large red mark is forms on his cheek. Birdie is standing in front of him with his hand raised and an absolutely furious look on his face. I put two and two together as I stare at them. Birdie slapped his brother, the star quarterback of the school's football team, full on in the face. There's silence as Alfred turns his head back to look at Birdie, the shock evident on his face, as his mind processes the fact that he just got hit by his innocent baby brother, who, from how much I've seen, normally wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Mattie-" Alfred starts to say, but is swiftly cut off by Birdie.

"Shut up, Al." I'm surprised at the cold, harsh tone his voice has taken on. "Alfred F. Jones, you listen to me. You will never, NEVER say something like that about Gilbert EVER again. I honestly don't give a fuck if you like Gilbert or not, because I do. I like Gilbert, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Also if I EVER hear you say something like that about Gilbert, of if I even hear from someone else that you said it, I will not hesitate for even a moment to get out my hockey stick and beat you with it until your face is so deformed that you won't even recognize yourself."

As Birdie is giving his little speech, I see Alfred's face grow paler and paler, until he's even more pale than me, and I'm albino so that's saying something.

I watch in silence as Al looks at me with eyes full of hatred.

"I don't like you; I don't trust you to not hurt Mattie. I'm watching you, and I WILL kick your ass all the way back to Germany if you hurt him," he says to me in a threatening voice.

I stare right back at him, determined to stand my ground, and reply, "Don't worry. I'll never purposefully hurt Birdie. I care way too damn much about him to ever bring him any harm."

Alfred looks at me for a few moments longer before turning his head and storming away into a room that's down the hall from Birdie's and has the American flag hanging on it. I can only assume that that room belongs to Alfred.

"I'm so sorry about him, Gil. He tends to be overprotective of me when he actually remembers me for long enough," Birdie says as he finishes bandaging my hand. "I understand if you don't wanna be with me anymore."

I see tears pricking his eyes. I reach up my uninjured hand and brush them away. I cup his cheek and make him look at me.

"Birdie, nothing will ever make me leave you, especially not some asshole like him," I tell him with a smile.

"Really?" he asks, looking up at me with sparkling tears in his eyes.

I smile softly and kiss him tenderly on the lips, "of course. I love you, Birdie. Don't you forget it."

"Thanks, Gil," Birdie says, wiping away his tears. We head back to his room, sit on his bed and talk and snuggle for a while.

"Boys! Dinner's ready! Come down and eat," we hear Arthur call up the stairs.

I give birdie another kiss, and we head downstairs to eat dinner with his family.

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><p>AN: thank you so much for being patient with me. I love you all so much and it means the world for me for you guys to put up with me being super slow with my updates so thank you so so much. I hope to get the next chapter up soon though after that I don't know. I'm not quiet sure how to write the next part but I'll figure it out eventually.

Now a word from my lovely Beta Sakura414:

This is Sakura414 reporting from the happiest place on Earth! Fan fiction doesn't let you send hearts, but everyone please send a smile to Wolf-Chan, because it sounds like she needs it. :) On behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you for reading!

Again thank you for being patient and I'm sorry being sick cause of this medicine is really kicking my butt. I hope to get better soon though, especially with band camp starting up soon. I'm going to be doing color guard (the people with the flags for those of you who don't know). I'm very excited though I won't be able to write as quickly during that. I will still try to get these chapters out to you ASAP. Thanks four you patience you wonderful beautiful peoples.

Till next time mein awesome readers.

Wolf-Chan out.


	13. Chapter 13: Drama at Dinner

I'm so sorry that I've taken so long to update my beautiful readers. I've had Band camp and I've started school and things have just been so hectic that I haven't been able to get on the computer at ALL. I hope that this chapter is a good enough apology. Please forgive me mein friends. I will do my best to try and stay on top of thing this year. Anyway I'm gonna stop talking and get right onto the chapter which you have all waited with the patience of saints to read.

Here's Chapter XIII. Enjoy.

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><p><span>Chapter XIII<span>

Matthew's POV

Gil and I head downstairs, and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that Papa cooked instead of Dad. I don't want Gil getting food poisoning. We sit down at the table just as Alfred comes down the stairs. When he sees Gil sitting next to me, he growls.

"What the hell is he still doing here?" he says, pointing accusingly at Gil.

"Alfred, this is Matthew's boyfriend, Gilbert. He is staying for dinner and you are to be respectful to him," Arthur says, giving him a look that just dares him to say something.

Alfred scowls and sits down next to Arthur, across the table from Gil.

Francis emerges from the kitchen carrying the main course, honey glazed ham. Everyone takes a serving, and there's relative silence while everyone fills their plates with food. Said silence is broken when Francis speaks.

"So Gilbert, how did you meet our petite Mattieu?"

"Well we met in the hall at school. He was stuck in his locker and I helped him out. He showed me to my classroom since I didn't know the way," Gilbert answers smoothly.

"Stuck in his locker? Is this true, Mattieu?" Francis asks, looking at me curiously.

"Oui, it was an accident. Someone just bumped into me when I was getting something. The door closed before I could stop it," I say quickly, not wanting him to know about my bullying problem with Ivan. Especially since I have a feeling that I won't be a problem anymore now that I have Gil.

"Okay," he replies, still looking skeptical.

"So, are you new around here? I can't say I can ever recall seeing you before," Arthur asks.

"Ja, I just moved here with mein bruder und mein großervater from Germany," Gil tells him.

"What about your parents?" Arthur inquires. I tense up and look at Gil worriedly, unsure of how he'll react to a question about his dead parents.

"They…um…passed away when I was six in a car accident.. Me und mein bruder were the only ones in our car to survive," he says quietly, looking down at his plate. He heart tightens at seeing him so sad, and I hold his hand under the table, lacing our fingers together and giving his fingers an encouraging squeeze. He looks at me and gives me a grateful smile.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I had no idea," Arthur says awkwardly.

"It's okay, Mr. Kirkland. You couldn't have known," Gil replies.

"Well, still. Anyway, do you have any interests or hobbies?"

"I can play a lot of instruments."

"Really? That is nice. How did you learn to play so many?" Francis asks, interested.

"Well, I started with learning the flute from a friend of my family. He was an older guy, but he was really awesome. I called him old man Fritz. He was always there for me. He taught me to play the flute and later the violin. He tried to teach me piano, but it just wasn't my thing. He passed away a few years after my parents, He was a good man. After he passed away, I taught myself to play viola, clarinet, a bit of drums, and my personal favorite besides the Flute and violin, guitar," Gil tells us. I listen closely, wanting to learn more about the boy who stole my heart.

"That's amazing to have taught yourself to play so many instruments," Francis says.

"Danke Herr," Gil replies.

"I don't get what's the big deal. So he can play a few instruments. Big whoop," Alfred cuts in, having been silent until now.

"Alfred! That was extremely rude! Apologize this instant," Arthur scolds, scowling at him.

"Why should I?! He's only trying to get into Mattie's pants! He's a freak Dad!" Alfred yells.

"Alfred Freedom Jones Bonnefoy-Kirkland! You take that back right now! You will not say such things while you are in my house, and certainly not to a guest!" Arthur yells back.

"NO! He's a freak and a Nazi and I don't want him anywhere near my brother!"

Arthur looks like he's about to explode with rage when Gil stands, saying, "I think I should leave now. Danke for the meal, Mr. Bonnefoy, It was delicious."

"Gil, don't go, please," I say, furious at Alfred for saying such a horrible thing about my boyfriend right to his face.

"It's alright, Birdie. I gotta get home anyway or mein großervater's going to start to worry. I'll see you on Monday, okay? I can probably give you a ride to school," he replies.

"That sounds nice. It was a pleasure meeting you Gilbert," Francis says, smiling.

Arthur pulls Alfred into the other room by his ear, calling over his shoulder, "Do come again sometime, and please forgive my son's atrocious behavior."

Gilbert chuckles, 'No problem, Mr. Kirkland."

"Here, I'll show you to the door," I say standing. Gilbert and I walk towards my front door.

"I'm so sorry about Alfred. I can't believe he would ever say such awful things," I say, apologizing profusely.

Gilbert just smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Don't worry about it, Birdie. I had a fun time. Your family certainly is an interesting bunch. I'll give you that," he says with a grin. He bends down and places a soft kiss on my lips upon seeing the uneasy look on my face.

"Don't worry, Birdie. I told you, I love you, and no stupid brother is going to change that," he assures me, pulling me into a hug. He gives me a loving kiss and heads out.

I watch his car turn the corner and head back inside. I head up to my bedroom and lay on my back, staring at my ceiling. Kumajiki crawls onto the bed and rests at my side so I can pet him.

My mind thinks over the events of the past two days. I've been beat up, noticed, comforted, kissed, confessed to, had my secret discovered, and been found by my cousin. I now have an amazing boyfriend who remembers me and loves me. I just hope that now my happiness can last.

With thoughts of Gilbert on my mind, I quickly drift off into pleasant dreams.

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><p>AN: Yeah so short chapter is short. Alfred's an asshole and Arthur and Francis are actually pretty cool parents. And old man fritz has been revealed even if it's in the past and he's already dead….He's still part of the story damn it! Anyways I really hope that you guys like this chapter despite it's shortness and I'll do my best to get the next one out to you as soon as I can.

I love you all mein lovely readers. Reviews make mesuper uber happy. They are what keep me writing this for you and theymake my day. You are all amazing and wonderful fro being patient for me. I love you all and I can't wait to hear your feedback on thischapter. Thanks for reading and not giving up on me.

Here's some room for my lovely beta to put her two-cents in:

I apologize if I missed any errors. As Wolf-chan said, school just started back up, and I'm basically brain-dead. Thus, I will end my note here as to avoid marring this chapter with the incoherent ramblings of a sleep-deprived teenager. On behalf of myself and Wolf-chan, thank you for reading.

As always I love you and until next time mein liebes.

Wolf-chan out.


	14. Chapter 14: New Start, New Friends

Hello my mein wartvoll readers. (My precious). I am sorry for taking so long. I've been so busy with school and colorguard. We had our first competition on Saturday and during warm ups I hit myself in the nose with my flag doing a toss. I was still able to do the show, but needless to say my nose is currently quite bruised. Yesterday I had a cosplay meet up with my friends at Dark Galaxy Cosplay and I proposed to a Canada as Prussia. I will soon be uploading the video to youtube under the title of PruCan proposal 9-16-12. Please go look it up. Anyway, I'm going ot shut up and get on with the story which I'm sure you are all excited to read.

Chapter XIV, Enjoy :)

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><p><span>Chapter XIV<span>

Gilbert's POV

I leave Birdie's house and drive back home. When I get there, I head inside and find Lud and mein Großervater reading in the living room.

"Hey, I'm home," I say, when neither of them seem to notice mein awesome presence. That sometimes happens when they get really into whatever book their reading. They both look up at the sound of mein voice.

"Oh Hallo Gilbert. Why are you home so late? You missed dinner. There's some leftovers in the fridge if you want them," Mein Großervater says.

"Oh, sorry, I got invited to stay for dinner at Matthew's house. I guess I forgot to tell you," I say, scratching he back of my head.

"That's fine. Just make you to tell me next time," he tells me, looking back down at his book.

"Okay, will do, Vatti," I reply and head up to my bedroom.

When I get there, I kick off my shoes and decide to just go to bed, as it's late and I'm tired.

I head to the bathroom with a pair of pajama pants. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth before heading back to my room. I put out some food for Gilbird and turn off my lights before crawling into bed.

I lay under my blankets for a bit, listening to the sounds of Lud and Vatti getting ready for bed. My head is filled with thoughts of mein Birdie.

Now that I know about him hurting so much, I want to help him even more than before. I need to think of a way to keep him from getting bullied and teased. I also need to help him stop cutting. I can't just let it continue on like it has been. I would be beyond unawesome if I just let things continue with how they are now.

I'm going to help Birdie with this no matter what. He's too awesome and way too precious to me to be hurting like he is. Well, whatever I do, I'll worry about it tomorrow. The awesome me needs his awesome sleep. My awesoemness needs rest, or else it won't be nearly at its normal levels of awesome.

I end up drifting off with thoughts of only mein wertvoll liebe on my mind.

~Time skip to Monday~

Matthew's POV

I wake up Monday morning to my phone ringing from my side table. I sit up and grope around for my glasses. Finding them after a moment of searching, I put them on before looking at my phone's screen. Gilbert must have put his number in my phone when I wasn't paying attention.

From: The Awesomest Boyfriend Ever

Hey Birdie, thought you could use an awesome

wake up call from the awesome me. :D Also,

wondering if you wanted a ride to school.

Txt me back if you do. Love you.

I smile at Gil's use of cute little emoticons. He acts like such a little kid sometimes. I can't help the smile that spreads on my lips. Despite his childishness, I find myself so in love with him. He's already done so much more for me than I could ever hope to repay. I just hope that he remembers me for longer than a week. I have this feeling in my heart, though, that he won't forget me. I can't explain it; I just pray that it is true.

I realize that Gil's probably waiting for a reply. I quickly send one and get out of bed to take a shower before Alfred gets to the bathroom. He always uses all the hot water whenever he gets there first.

From: Mein Adorable Birdie (This is the text sent to Gilbert)

I'd love to get a ride from you. Just so long as it's

not too much trouble or anything.

I get into the shower, gently taking off my bandages so that I can wash my cuts. When I get out I almost get my razor out of it's hiding spot before I stop. I shouldn't cut. I made a promise to Gil that I wouldn't, and I can't betray his trust.

I instead rebandage my arms with fresh bandages and some Neosporin. I dry off and go back to my room. I get dressed in the outfit that I got with Gilbert at the mall; my papa did the laundry yesterday, so it all got clean. Dad didn't actually react all that badly to me having them. He even offered to get out his old punk stuff so that we can see if any of it fits me. He said he's fine if I want to dress like that so long as I don't start acting all rebellious and like a delinquent.

After getting dressed, I grab my phone and iPod out of their chargers and pack my sketchbook and all my other stuff into my backpack.

I head down to the kitchen and see Arthur drinking his morning tea and reading the newspaper. Francis is making breakfast as per usual.

He smiles and says, "Bon Matin mon petite Mattieu. Did you sleep well last night?"

"Oui papa, I didn't have any nightmares last night," I say, smiling and feeling lighter than I have for a longtime. I haven't had my nightmare once since I met Gilbert. I think that the light feeling is from that and the fact that I didn't cut. Since I didn't cut this morning, I don't have that guilt weighing me down like I normally do.

"That's wonderful mon cher! It's been so long since you haven't had those night terrors to trouble you. Isn't that right, Arthur?" he says, turning to Arthur.

Arthur looks up and smiles, "Indeed, it has been sometime. I'm happy that they're getting better."

I smile. "Merci, Dad. I'm really happy about it, too. Oh, Gil is giving me a ride to school. Just letting you know. Is that okay?"

They share a look and smile. Francis turns back to me and says, "That is fine. Just make sure that you're being safe."

I beam and hug him. "Merci, Papa!"

I then sit down at the table and quickly eat the crêpes that Francis places before me. I wash my plate off and put it away once I'm done. Just as I put the dish away, there's a knock at the door.

"That must be Gilbert. I'll see you both after school," I tell Francis and Arthur, giving them each a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before grabbing my school bag and heading out of the kitchen.

Third Person POV

Francis sighs as he watches his youngest son race out of the room with more enthusiasm then he's shown for anything in the longest time.

"It's so wonderful to see him happy again," he says with a gentle smile.

"It's that boy he introduced us to the other night. He's helped Matthew more in two days then either of us could in ten years," Arthur replies, a hint of melancholy in his voice. Francis hears the melancholy and goes up to Arthur.

Wrapping his arms around his partner, he says, "Do not let it bother you, mon petite Lapin. We are merely not the right ones who could help him with the pains of his past. This Gilbert is the one who was destined to help him. All we can do is offer our love and support to him as he heals. He knows that we both love him dearly and that we will always be here for him no matter what. So do not let it bother you, oui?"

Arthur sighs and says, "I guess you're right love. I just always worry if we're doing something wrong."

"Don't worry about it, mon amour. You are a wonderful father to both of our sons," Francis assures him with a kiss on his temple.

Matthew's POV

As I run to the door, I pass Alfred coming down the stairs. I don't want to dwell on what happened on Saturday. He refused to talk to me all day yesterday. I just want him to accept that Gilbert makes me happy.

"I'll see you at school, Al. I'm getting a ride from Gil so I'm not taking the bus," I call to him as I hurry past. I swear I see a flash of anger in his eyes before I rush to the door.

I open it and see Gil waiting for me. He smiles at me and opens his arms for a hug. I practically fly into them and say, "Bon Matin, Gil."

Gil laughs and arches an eyebrow, saying, "I'm going to assume that whatever you just said is a good thing?"

I blush, "I'm sorry. Sometimes I slip into French when I'm in a really good mood," I explain.

"Kesesesese I bet that I'm responsible for that awesomely good mood, and don't worry. I think that it's really cute when you speak French," he says, chuckling.

I blush a deep red, embarrassed, burying my face into his chest. I can feel his chest shake as he laughs more, and I feel him place a kiss on the top of my head.

"You are too cute, Birdie. Now come on, we gotta get to school. I wanna introduce you to some of my friends before classes start," he says, and we get into his car.

Gilbert's POV

We spend the car ride to school talking about what we did on Sunday. I spent the day unpacking with Ludwig and Vatti. Birdie tells me that he spent the day working on his painting for the school's art show. He said he's having a hard time thinking of something to paint. He did say, though, that he got some inspiration yesterday and started to map out the idea.

I tell him that I think that's awesome and I'm gonna be there to support him at the art show. When I tell him that, his face lights up with joy and he tells me he'll do the same for me with my song.

It makes my heart feel all warm and fuzzy to know that I'm the one who can make him be so happy. I want his smile to always be on his face. I hope that I can help it to appear more often and to stay longer.

With us talking, the drive to school seems to take no more then a few minutes. It's like no time passed by at all.

When we arrive, he seems to get tense. Probably because he's worried about running into Ivan, who he told me on Friday night bullies him a lot.

I put my arm around his shoulder and assure him, "Don't worry Birdie. I'm not gonna let you get shoved into your locker again. Come on, I wanna introduce you to those friends I told you about earlier."

He smiles at me gratefully. We get out of the car and head into school.

"Hey Gil, can we stop by my locker before we meet your friends?" Birdie asks.

"Sure, Birdie," I say, and we head in the direction of the spot here we first met on Friday morning. I'm happy to see that the profanity that was there on Friday is now gone.

Birdie quickly puts in his combination and switches out his notebooks. Once he's done, we head towards my locker, which is right next to Antonio and Lovino's.

We know we're getting close when we hear rapid curses in Italian being aimed at a Spaniard who is grinning stupidly at the Italian who is yelling said curses at him.

"But Lovi, You're just so cute! I can't help but want to hug you," Antonio practically whines, unfazed by the profanities being spewed at him.

"That does not mean you can just touch me whenever the hell you want, you fucking tomato bastard!" Lovino screams back in his face.

"Yo! As entertaining as your guys' little lovers quarrel is to watch, the awesome me has someone who I want to introduce you two, so shut up and pay attention," I say, awesomely cutting into the conversation.

They both stop, and, ignoring the scowl I receive from Lovino, I awesomely continue. I pull Birdie in front of me.

"This is mein awesome boyfriend," I announce proudly.

They both take one look at Birdie.

"You're dating Alfred? I though you said you though he was too stuck up for you, Gil," Antonio says, looking at me confused.

I face palm at Antonio's stupidity.

"Toni, this isn't Alfred. It's his kliener Bruder, his little brother, Matthew. He's nothing like that arshloche. He's way more awesome," I explain to him slowly.

Lovino just stays quiet, watching Birdie carefully.

"Is he forcing you to do this?" he suddenly asks Birdie.

Birdie looks surprised. He quickly shakes his head no.

"Oh, no no no. Gil isn't forcing me to do anything. He's a really great boyfriend, and he treats me really well. He makes me very happy," he corrects.

I smile softly at him and hug him, saying, "I'm glad that I can make you so happy, Birdie."

I plant a kiss on Birdie's cheek, making him blush deep red. I laugh quietly. Birdie is so damn cute when he blushes.

Antonio and Lovino seem to like Matthew as we talk, waiting for the bell for class to ring. Once it does, we say our goodbyes to Antonio and Lovino and head of to our history class.

~Time skip to Matthew's Art Class~

Matthew's POV

I walk into the art room and giggle when I see that Romulus is once again asleep at his desk.

"Mr. Vargas, wake up!" I call gently, making him wake with a start. He shakes his head and smiles.

"Ah! Buon Giorno Matteo!" he says cheerfully

"Bonjour, Monsieur Vargas," I reply.

"How are you on your piece for the art show? You have three more weeks before the show, so I hope that you have it started at least," He says.

I nod my head. "Oui, I do. I actually decided to change my original idea and do something else."

"Alright, Matteo, just make sure that you can finish it before the show. I'm quite excited to see what you come up with," he replies.

I smile. "Merci. I'll do my best not to disappoint you."

"I'm sure that you won't disappoint me. You always do have such wonderful art pieces," he says, and I go to my seat and pull out my sketchbook to start working on the composition of my painting. I want to figure out exactly how it will look before I start to put it down on canvas.

Yesterday, I was trying to think of something to add to my original picture, the polar bear in the snow, when I got inspiration from thinking of Gilbert. He's done so much for me already and is trying so hard to save me from my cutting. I want for my painting to show everyone just how grateful I am to Gilbert and how much I love him.

I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna show all that through one painting. I'll just have to do my best, keep my fingers crossed, and hope that it's going to be enough.

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><p>AN: There it is Chapter XIV (14). I really hope that you guys enjoy it even though it's just a filler. I promise that the next one is going to have something huge in it that may very well make you all want to murder me. However I must ask you to please not murder me for if you do that I won't be able to write the end of the story. So please refrain from killing me till after I finish the story.

As Always I am Great ful to every review that you guys send me so please send me morel. I've decided that reviewers 125and 150 will both get one shots of any pairing. I will have to say that I won't write the pairings AmericaxCanada, Germany Prussia(Unless they are not brothers or its just brotherly love),RussiaxUkraine, RussiaxBelarus, RussiaxAny Baltic state, or ItalyxRomano. Basically any sibling pairings and RussiaxBaltics. I can't write for them. So review, review.

Here again is a word from my lovely Beta readerSakura414 who recently finished her own fan fiction titled Selective about a Selectively Mute Ciel and his loving Boyfriend Sebastion. It is a fantastic story and I definitely recommend it to any Black Butler fans out there.:

Aaaaaand this would be why I love Wolf-chan so dearly. :) But yes, it would make me the happiest beta in the world if you would do that, or even if you would just take five seconds to read about selective mutism on wikipedia. (And if you happen to be selectively mute, I send you all of my love and hugs, because I know how horrible it is.) Anyway, as always, on behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you for reading!

As Always your reviews are what keep me writing so leave me plenty and I love to hear what you think I love feedback except for hate. Any flames are used to heat Russia's house and make smores with England.

Translations:

German-

Mein Großervater- my grandfather

Vatti-dad

Mein wertvoll liebe-my precious love

Kliener bruder-little brother\

Arshloche-asshole

French-

Bon matin mon petite Mattieu- good morning my little matthew

Mon cher-my dear

Merci-thanks

Mon petite lapin-my little rabbit

Mon amour-my love

Bonjour monsieur Vargas-hello Mr. Vargas

Italian-

Buon giorno-good morning

Matteo-Matthew

Until next time mein lieblings.

Wolf-chan out.


	15. Chapter 15: Reappearing Faces, New Fear

A/N: Sorry again my lieblings. I have been so busy with marching band and the first month and a half of school that I just have not had the time at ALL to type this. I hope that you'll forgive me for this but I'm just so busy,. Anyway my friend Colby and I decided to meet in the library and skip out on our study hall and lunch. So I'm taking this time to type. Anyway I will stop babbling and let you guys get on to reading the chapter.

Here you go Chapter 15 Enjoy.

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><p><span>Chapter XV<span>

~Time Skip~

~2 Weeks Later~

Matthew's POV

The bell rings, signaling the end of class. I stand and start to pack up my French notebooks.

"Hey, you go ahead of me, Birdie. I need to talk to the teacher about something. Just wait for me by my car, okay?" Gilbert says to me.

"Alright Gil-Bear," I reply, using my favorite pet name for him, going up onto my tip toes to place a quick kiss onto his cheek. I smile and leave the classroom, stopping by my locker to switch out my notebooks and go to wait by Gil's car. I put my ear buds in and play some music, getting out a reading assignment for class to pass the time while I wait for Gil to be done with whatever he's talking to the teacher about.

After about fifteen minutes, pretty much everyone except those staying for an after-school sport or club have already left and gone home. This leaves the parking lot pretty much empty, with the exception of the occasional car. I feel a hand tap my shoulder and take out my ear buds, looking up from my reading, expecting to see Gilbert.

My body goes completely rigid, my blood freezing as my eyes don't meet the rich crimson ones of my boyfriend. Instead, they fall upon the deep brown and cool purple of my cousin and my tormentor. My heart races in fear, yet no matter how much my mind is screaming at me to run, to get as far away as possible, to get far away from these men, my body is riveted in place, unable to move a single inch. I'm frozen in place like a deer in the headlights.

Carlos chuckles darkly and reaches a hand out to stroke my cheek. I flinch away from his touch, making him laugh more. Ivan chuckles as well, his terrifying, child-like smile stretched across his face like always, though at this moment it seems more frightening than ever before.

"Hello, my little slut," Carlos says with a devious grin. "I hope you enjoyed the two weeks I gave you to spend with your little boyfriend."

"дa, it seems to me that little Matvey has been having lots of fun with Gilbert," Ivan says, his seemingly innocent voice sending chills running racing down my spine.

"Yes, but why should Gilbert be the only one to have fun with our little whore?" Carlos replies, trying to sound innocent.

My heart speeds up even more, and my mind races as I imagine all of the horrors that they could have planned for me. My fear must be obvious on my face, because Carlos and Ivan share a devious, knowing smile, snickering a bit. Carlos places his hand on the side of my neck and gives me a face reassuring smile, yet it does nothing to hide the evil intent beneath. It only serves to frighten me further.

"Fear not, my little bitch. We will not be having our fun just yet," he tells me.

"Tonight at 11:00pm, you are going to be at the park two blocks away from your precious Gilbert's house. We will be there, so don't keep us waiting for long. Oh and if you breath a word of this to anyone, let's just say Gilbert will be getting a not so pleasant surprise visit. Understand?"

I nod my head vigorously, making Carlos smile. He removes his hand from my neck and pats my cheek with it.

"Good boy. Don't you forget to come tonight, and no telling or you'll ruin all the fun," Ivan says cheerily.

A shiver runs up my back at him sounding so happy, as if we're planning a surprise party. They turn and start walking away. They're gone in mere minutes.

When I'm once again alone in the parking lot, I finally break. My knees give out and I slide to the ground, leaning heavily on Gilbert's car.

Oh, God, what am I going to do? I can't tell anyone, and I have to show up or they're gonna hurt Gil. Gil's the first good thing to come into my life since before my Dad died. I can't let him get hurt. My whole body is shaking as my mind desperately tries to find a way out.

After about five minute, I pull myself together enough to stand. I don't want for Gilbert to get suspicious. He can't know what's going on. Carlos said something would happen to Gil, and I can't risk it. I stand and collect myself just in time as Gil comes out to the parking lot.

He smiles and runs up to me. I do my best to smile back at him as he gives me a hug. My smile must not be very convincing, because Gil frowns.

"Hey, Birdie, is everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost,"he says, concerned. (Beta Note: Marius, you're late! What's wrong today? You look as if you've seen a ghost! Some wine and say what's going ooooon...)

I quickly nod my head and say, "O-oui, I just got spooked by a bird is all. It startled me."

He looks unconvinced, so I continue. "I was reading, and it was really quiet. It flew down and cawed really loudly, so it really startled me."

He still looks a little skeptical, but shrugs and tells me, "If you say so, Birdie. I'll trust you. So you wanna stay over at my place tonight?"

I almost say yes, but I remember that I have to meet Carlos and Ivan at 11:00pm. There's no way I'll be able to sneak out if I'm at Gilbert's house.

"Sorry, but I can't stay over tonight. Francis and Arthur wanted me home,"I lie. It kills me to lie to Gil, but he can't know about Carlos and Ivan's threat.

He looks sad, but quickly bounces back and says, "That's alright Birdie. Do you at least wanna come over for dinner, or do you just want me to drop you off at your place?"

"We can go somewhere for a bit. I just need to be home around seven," I reply. I want to spend some quality time with Gil before whatever Carlos and Ivan have planned for me.

"Alright, let's go then, Birdie," he says cheerfully, and we hop into his car.

We end up spending the afternoon at the arcade with me kicking Gil's butt at Street fighter and Dance Dance Revolution. I hold a lot of high scores at the arcade; I'm surprisingly good at video games from being forced to play them with Alfred for hours on end. When the arcade closes, we leave. We get back into his car and he starts driving me home, as it's now around 6:45. By now, I'm much more relaxed, having almost forgotten about Ivan and Carlos… _almost_.

We talk about different things on the way home. I ask Gil if he's been able to think of anything for the art show. Since he's in a music class, he has to write a song. He says that he's written a couple of little things, but so far he doesn't have anything that he deems good enough to make into a full song for the show. I tell him that whatever he comes up with is sure to be awesome, because of course he is the one who is writing it.

With our talking, we arrive at my home before we know it. I get out of the car and lean through Gil's window to give him a goodnight kiss.

"Bye, Gil. Thank you so much for the awesome day!" I say, beaming at him.

"It's nothing Birdie, I love doing stuff with you. Have a good night okay, and don't forget that I love you," He replies with a loving smile.

My smile softens. Ever since we officially started dating, the day after Gilbert discovered my cutting and I spilled my heart out to him, he's told me he loves me every single day. I think that it's so I won't ever forget and have the urge to cut again. He also checks every day for new cuts. So far, I haven't cut once since then. Twice I almost did, but I called Gil whenever I got the urge and he would rush to meet up with me. He even snuck out of his house at one am and met with me at the edge of the woods by my house just to be there for me. He stayed with me the rest of the night, holding me, giving me gentle kisses, and whispering loving words to me in a mix of English, German, and French as I cried to him. He's the greatest boyfriend anyone would ever ask for and more.

"I won't forget," I promise him. I suddenly get the urge to tell him how much he means to me. I have a feeling that if I don't before tonight, then I'm going to regret not saying it.

"Hey Gil, thank you for being so good to me. I mean you're always there for me, no matter what and you always make me feel so loved. I just want you to know that I'm really great full for that," I tell him.

He gives me and odd look, "What brought this on, liebe? Is something wrong?"

I shake my head quickly, "No, I just wanted to make sure that you knew."

"Okay," he replies, looking a little skeptical, before shaking it off and smiling. "Have a good night, Birdie, with sweet dreams full of my awesomeness."

I chuckle and give him another kiss, this one deeper, and as full as I can possibly make it. I pull back and head to my house, waving goodbye to him as he leaves.

My smile drops as soon as he's out of sight I recall my appointment to meet Carlos and Ivan at the park in 3 hours. My heart tightens in fear of whatever horrors they have planned for me.

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><p>AN: Well what do you guys think? I've brought back everyone's favorite evil jerkwad of a cousin. Please don't kill me. I promise I don't like being evil to Mattie, and I assure you have wanted to cry while writing some of my chapters, especially the next one. I hope that you guys will all stick with this until the end. I promise I'm gonna start trying to get the chapters out quicker but it's gonna be tough with literally 6/7 days of the week taking up with either school or marching band. But don't' worry, I will NOT be going on hiatus. It just might take a while to get out chapters. But I'm going to do my absolute best for you guys. SO don't give up on me and cheer me on.

As always here is a word from my amazing and wonderful Beta, Sakura414:

I'm just as sad as you are, faithful readers, but rest assured that Wolf-chan will not give us anything short of a happy ending! Also, as stated below, it is selective mutism awareness month. If you want to know what it's like to live with SM, go check out my story, and if you enjoy quality writing, just look the disorder up on Wikipedia. :) On behalf of myself and Wolfen Artist of Hetalia, thank you for reading!

OH and Sakura414 finished a Kurashitsuji fanfiction not to long ago. It's titled Selective and is to help raise awareness for Selective Mutism. Speaking of which this month happens to be Selective Mutism Awareness month so to show your support go read her story. It's really awesome and definitely deserves more readers. Go check it out it's awesome. (Beta Note: I think your inner Prussia is showing. :3)

Translations:

German:

Liebe-love

French:

Oui-yes

Russian:

Дa-Yes

Until Next time mein lieblings.

Wolf-chan out


	16. Chapter 16: Pain and Decisions

A/N: Hallo again mein lieblings. I'm SOOOOOO sorry for taking so long to type this but I've been sick and I was practicing with color guard for nationals. Our band got 18th out of 25 bands in our division if you were wondering. So yeah basically I got like no sleep last weekend and I have had a headache the size of Texas (And not America's glasses Texas the actual state). So yeah it's not helping that my brother won't shut up and let me type. Well just wish me luck on surviving. I do my best to write a good story for you so just bear with me please. I only have one more event with band then it's over so I'm going to have more free time and hopefully I'll be able to get these chapters out faster.

Disclaimer: I have been severally ignoring this, mostly cause I just forget to put it in for most chapter but, I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR IT"S CHARACTERS. If I did, PruCan would be Canon.

~WARNING~READ THIS!: Okay so This chapter is going to have a lot of angst in it and some of it may be triggering so be warry. Anyone who wishes to proceed despite this, if you cry easily, get a box of tissues, if not, get one anyway and enjoy.

Here you go Chapter 16.

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><p><span>Chpater XVI<span>

Matthew's POV

The rest of my evening passes much more quickly than I would have liked, and before I know it, it's 9:45 pm, time to head out. Alfred, Arthur, and Francis have all retired to their rooms for the night when I carefully open my bedroom door and check that the coast is clear, before hurrying as silently as I can down the stairs. I sneak quietly through the house and manage to slip out the back door without rousing anyone.

It's about a fifteen minute walk to the park near Gil's house, where I was instructed to wait for them. I arrive at the park, which really is more woods than anything, and look at my phone's clock. 10:00pm; right on time. Now all I have to do is wait for them to show themselves.

I'm not waiting for long before they come out from the shadows of the trees. I stand at my full height and do my best to not let them see how terrified I am.

"So you did come. For a bit, I thought I'd be paying my 'dear' friend Gilbert a visit," Carlos says.

My hands curl into fists and I practically growl, "You stay far away from Gilbert, you m-monster!" cursing myself as my voice quivers, showing some of my fear.

He chuckles and shares a look with Ivan, who then approaches me. I step back, until I feel my back connect with a tree. Ivan stands in front of me, and I find myself effectively trapped.

"Don't worry. little Matvey. We won't hurt him if you promise to do everything we say, дa," Ivan says, barely hinting at a threat, but it's still there.

I swallow heavily and grudgingly nod my head.

"Fine, do whatever you want to me," I tell them, hanging my head and hating myself for being so weak.

The Russian teen chuckles darkly. "Oh, we aren't going to be the ones doing something to you….You are. We won't be doing anything but watching," he informs me.

I look at him confused, stuttering quietly, "W-what are y-you t-talking about?"

Carlos steps forward, grinning evilly, "You, my lovely little slut, are going to slice up those pretty little wrists of yours. But be careful; we don't want you dying on us," he explains, not losing his malicious grin.

My eyes widen in realization and horror. I can't do it. I made a promise to Gilbert that I wouldn't cut anymore, and I can't break that promise. I shake my head vigorously.

Carlos merely chuckles and takes another step closer to me. Speaking in a low, dark voice, he says, "So you would rather I pay Gilbert a little 'visit'?"

Again I shake my head, this time even more frantically. Biting my lip, I hang my head once more. What should I do? I made a promise to Gil that I wouldn't cut, but, if I don't then he's gonna get hurt, and I can't allow that. If Gil were to get hurt because of me, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Swallowing thickly, I whisper in a quiet, meek voice, "I'll do it."

Carlos mouth curls into an even bigger grin, one which Ivan mimics perfectly.

Ivan pats my head and falsely praises me. "Good boy, Matvey, I knew that you'd see things our way, дa."

Carlos, now standing directly in front of me, produces a razor from his pocket. He holds it out to me. Reaching out with shaking hands, I force back tears as I take it from him. My whole body is shaking, and I'm holding in sobs as I push up my sleeves, looking down at my arms. My cuts from before I met Gilbert were healing well, almost all of them no more than fading scars by now.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I press the edge of the razor against my skin. A repressed sob escapes my lips as I drag the blade across my skin. The familiar burn of the sharp metal breaking through my skin ignites the urge in my stomach that I've been able to suppress for the past two weeks.

Tears, which had been filling my eyes, spill over and cascade down my cheeks. In my mind I whisper an apology. "I'm so sorry, Gil. I can't stop."

I make another cut, and another, until my blood is dripping down my arms and onto the grass below me, mixing with the dew on the blades of grass beneath me. I've long since stopped attempting to hold back my sobs. They rip painfully from my throat as the tears flow unchallenged down my face. At some point Carlos and Ivan leave me, so that I'm all alone with my pain, my heart weighted down and heavy with my guilt.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Gil," I say, crying quietly. I'm so horrible. I broke my promise to Gil. He's been so wonderful and kind and amazing to me, yet I can't even keep my promise to him that I won't cut.

After what feels like forever, my hands fall still. They lay limp at my sides, blood continuing to drip down onto the ground. My sobs grow softer, and I just sit there crying with myself, making no attempt to move. How could I do such a thing? Gil trusted me, and I betrayed him. Suddenly, there's a gasp from in front of me. I remain motionless, thinking that it's just some random person out for a midnight stroll, who just happened upon me in my pitiful state. I ignore them, believing they'll just leave and forget ever seeing me. That's what most people do when they see me. Gil was the only person to ever stop and notice me long enough to truly see me pain and try to help me.

Yet I can't ignore it when I hear the person whisper, "Birdie?"

I look up through my tear-blurred vision, praying that they aren't who I think they are. I'm able to make out short silver, almost white, hair, pale skin, and deep red eyes in the moonlight.

No, anyone but Gil. Why? Why does it have to be him? He's the last person I want to see me like this. Now he knows I broke my promise. Guilt crashes down on me, worse than ever before. I'm horrid, I don't deserve someone as amazing as Gil, and I can't bear him seeing me like this. I need to leave, NOW. I can't face him as I am- or ever, maybe.

I stand and run into the woods, away from Gil. I have some difficulty, because of being dizzy from losing so much blood, but I don't stop. I can't stop until I'm far away from him. Vaguely, I can hear Gilbert chasing after me, but I know that with his albinism it's almost impossible for him to see properly in the darkness. Using this to my advantage, I'm able to easily escape. I don't slow my pace until I've run all the way back to my house and up into my studio in the attic. I close and lock the door, leaning against it heavily, letting myself slide down to the floor.

Finally, I break. I sob heavily, muffling the noise with the sleeves of my hoodie so as not to wake anyone in the house. If they were to see me now, it would only make matters worse than they already are.

I can't face Gil again, not after this. Not after him seeing me like that. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I think that that's just what I'll do. I can't do it just yet, though. Even with how much I want to die, to take a razor to my wrist and just let it all fade away into darkness, I find myself thinking of my painting for the art show, and my promise to Gil to watch him sing there. The painting leans against the wall of my studio, not yet finished. For some reason that I can't explain, I just can't bring myself to leave this world without finishing it. Almost like I want to be able to leave it behind as a final goodbye.

I decide that I'll wait to end my own life until after the art show. I'll finish the painting and show it there. It will be my last farewell to my family and to Gilbert. I hope that Gil will be able to forgive me. I'm sure that my family will be okay. They'll mourn for a bit, but they will move on in time. I'm not so sure about Gil though. Knowing Gil like I do, he'll most likely blame himself for my death, and I don't want that to happen. I want Gil to move on and forget about me like my family will. I'll make sure that I leave a letter to him, so that he knows that my death isn't his fault. I don't want for him to feel at all guilty about it.

Once I'm set in my decision, I stand. I quietly make my way to the bathroom and take a shower, cleaning the blood from my arms and carefully bandaging them for the first time in almost two weeks. I then make my way back to my studio. Again, I lock the door, with no intention of opening it until the day of the art show.

Gilbert's POV

After I drop Birdie off at his house and head home, I can't shake this sinking feeling in my gut. I can't help but feel like something isn't right. The way Birdie said goodbye... it worries me. I really hope that Birdie's gonna be okay. I love him so much, und I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to him.

Around ten-o-clock, I find myself still awake, unable to quell the feeling of apprehension in my heart. I decide to go for a walk to hopefully ease this tension.

I grab mein jacket and slip out of the house so I don't wake Lud or Opa., choosing to head towards the park that's not too far from my house. The night is calm and quiet, the sounds of the night making a peaceful lullaby. (BETA NOTE: *twitch twitch* Must... refrain... from making... Phantom of the Opera reference... *twitch*)

Something's off, however. Over the sound of crickets, owls, and other nocturnal beings, the faint sound of crying reaches my hears. The crying sounds eerily familiar, and it only worsens the feeling in my stomach. I change my path to go towards the noise, praying all the while that it isn't who I think it is.

After a bit, I come to a clearing, hidden in the trees. There's a person sitting on their knees opposite of me. Their head is hanging low as they cry quietly. The sleeves of their red hoodie are pushed up, and I gasp quietly as I see the cuts all along both of their forearms. In the darkness, it's hard to make out too many features, but after a moment, I'm able to distinguish a stray curl of hair sticking out in front of their face that makes my blood turn to ice in my veins.

It can't be. This person…can't possibly be mein Birdie. Matthew promised me that he would come to me if he ever felt like cutting again. What could have pushed him to this? Why didn't he call me? I need to know if it's actually him and not someone else.

"Birdie?" I question softly, not wanting to scare him away. The person's body tenses up and they look up at me, revealing wet, violet eyes and tear-stained cheeks. My heart throbs in sadness at the sight, and I want nothing more than to hold him tightly in my arms and comfort him, whispering to him that everything will be alright. Before I can take a single step forward, though, he runs. I try to chase after him, but I quickly lose him, cursing my albinism for making my eyesight so horrid in the dark. I trip over a tree root and end up sprawled out on the ground. I slam my fist into the dirt in frustration.

I need to find out what happened to Birdie to make him cut again. From the looks of it, I'm not going to be able to get any answers from talking to him. I have a feeling that he's going to be avoiding me at all costs in the future. I need to help him; I'll never forgive myself if I don't. I decide that my best option is to wait until tomorrow to confront him. He's going to be too emotionally unstable for me to try and talk to him tonight, if I can even find him. I have to be patient and wait.

I eventually pick myself up and make my way back home. I swear to myself, I WILL find out what pushed mein Liebe to do this, and I will do everything I possibly can to prevent it from happening EVER again.

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><p>AN: Well there you go. I'm so sorry about leaving you off with such a horrible cliffhanger last time but as an apology here's what happened to Mattie when he was in the woods with Carlos and Ivan. Please forgive me for being so evil to Mattie. *Hides Behind Prussia and Canada*

Canada: Don't worry they can't kill you yet Wolf-chan.

Prussia: Yeha. If they do then they won't get to read the end of the story.

Me: Yeah…right. So please don't kill me yet, let me finish the story then you can kill me.

As always your reviews are fantastic and amazing and they are what keep me writing. So please, keep reviewing. They are my little patch of happiness in the chaos of my life.

Here is a word from my beautiful and amazing Beta Sakura414:

I have been awake for sixteen hours, and thus, my ability to form eloquent statements has been hacked into tiny pieces by Denmark's ax and subsequently lit on fire. Thus, my note ends here. Thanks for reading and supporting Wolf-chan's work!

And thank you again for being so patient with me. I promise after November 29th I'm going to do my absolute best to get chapters out to you much faster. I love you all so much for putting up with me and for staying with me for so long and I hope that you will all stay to see how this thing ends because we've still got a ways to go.

Until next time mein lieblings. Wolf-chan out


	17. Chapter 17: Anticipation

A/N: Okay here you guys go. I'm updating faster now! YAY! Anyway. I feel really awful about taking so long between chapters to update up until now. I promise that it's not my fault. I've just had so much to do and It's hard to find time to type with my brother hogging the computer all the time and especially since my life was taken over completely by marching band. However the season is over soon so I will definitely be updating much faster. Well I'll try to at least. I still need to focus on getting good grades. Oh and I forgot to mention in last chapter, whoever is the lucky person to be reviewer 10 gets a one shot from me. Same rules as the one for the 100threviewer, I'll do anything except for smut, and incest. Any pairing you want, but as I said before, no incest, with the exception if it's a Germancest with brotherly love. Sibling love I can do, incest no. Anyway I'm going to stop babbling and let you get onto the story that I'm sure you've all been eagerly waiting for.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers, Canada, Prussia, or any of the other character (Except for those not belonging to Hetalia like Matthew and Gilbert's biological parents). All characters belong to the glorious HimaPapa.

Well here you go then, chapter 17. :)

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><p><span>Chapter XVII<span>

~Time Skip~

~One Week Later~

Gilbert's POV

It's the night before the big art show and I'm laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I've spent the past week trying desperately to search for some kind of clue to what pushed Birdie past his limit. So far, I've found out nothing. I tried going to Birdie's house, but he's locked himself in his art studio in the attic. I've sat for countless hours with my back against the studio's paint splattered door, trying to get him to speak to me, but to no avail. His parents told me that he won't come out for meals or school. They have to use an old dumbwaiter to give food to him, and he always waits until everyone else is asleep to use the shower. They did tell me, however, that he has said that he will be going to the school's art show. Apparently. that's what he's been doing the whole time: working on his painting for the show.

I'm going to confront him tomorrow at the show, but I need to make sure I do so in a way that won't make him run away from me. I know exactly how to do it, too. The night I saw Birdie in the woods, after I went home, I sat at my desk. As I thought about what I was going to do to help him, a tune came to me. I quickly grabbed some blank sheet music out of my bag and started to write it down. It just kept coming, flowing from my mind, down my arm and through my hand to the page. Before I knew it, I had a full song written out, lyrics and all. I had read over it, and a small smile and had formed on my lips. It was perfect. I've showed it to Rodreich, too, and he approved it for the show.

I talked to Birdie's parents, and they promised me that they will make sure that he's there when I sing it. Even Alfred agreed to help. He said that as much as he hates me, even he, the one who couldn't see the elephant in the room if it was sitting on him, can see that I make Matthew happy and it hurts him to see his brother in so much pain without me.

I wrote the song for him, and I know that he will know that it's for him. I just hope that he won't run away when he hears it. I want to help Mein liebe so badly, but I can't do that if he keeps running away from me when ever I draw near.

I look at my guitar case, which is leaning against the wall at the foot of my bed. My black and red guitar, the one mein parents gave to me before they passed away, is inside, waiting for tomorrow, where it will play in what will probably be the most important performance of my whole life.

I stand and pick up the case, returning to my place on the bed and setting it in front of me. Taped onto the case are photos of people who are important to me or close to my heart. If I want to make someone proud, or want to always remember them, I put a picture of them on my case. There's a photo of me and Lud from when we were little. Right next to it is one of our parents from right after Lud was born with us at the hospital. Mein mutti is in the hospital bed looking tired and worn out, but she is smiling softly with joy as she holds a sleeping Lud in her arms. Mein vater is standing next to her with and arm around her shoulder, and I'm sitting on the edge of the bed on her other side, grinning wide and wearing a t-shirt that says, "World's Most Awesome Großerbruder." There's one of me with Old Man Fritz in which his arm is around me as we smile for the camera in nice suits. I'm holding my black violin that he gave me as a gift after playing in my first recital since he'd started teaching me how to play it. The next one is a formal portrait of me, Lud, Opa, Roderiech, and Elizavetta.

Lastly, and most importantly, there are two photos of me and Matthew. One is a multi-shot strip from the photo booths in the mall. The second is one that Elizavetta took of when we were having a private moment. My arms are around his waist, and he is pressed against me. His head is bowed, and a light blush paints his cheeks as I kiss his forehead lovingly. This one is my favorite out of all of the ones on my case. I'd gotten Elizavetta to give me three copies of it; one for my guitar case, one to put on my actual guitar, and one to keep in my wallet.

I stare at the photos for a long while before opening the case and taking out my guitar. I carefully tune and clean it, for what must be the third time today. I play through the song a few times, wanting to make sure that it's absolutely perfect. I have this feeling that I'm only going to have one chance to show Birdie how much I love him and that I will always love him and be there for him, regardless of anything he goes through. I'll be there to support him no matter what. I need to show Birdie how much he means to me. I just pray that my song is going to be enough to get him to stop and listen to what I have to say. Mein gott, I pray that it will be enough.

Matthew's POV

I put down my paintbrush and take a step back to survey my work. I just placed the finishing touches on my painting for the art show. I let a small smile play across my lips as I gaze at the result of all of my hard work. It's perfect.

I pack away my paints and place the large canvas in front of a fan to dry the paint faster. It's acrylic, so it should be dry by tomorrow.

I sit down on the make shift bed in the corner of the room, made up of blankets and pillows. I look at my arms. I don't have my hoodie on, not wanting to ruin it by getting paint on it. This exposes my bandages for anyone to see.

I've cut each day since then. It kills me each time I do. I made a promise to Gilbert that I wouldn't, that I would call him whenever I felt the urge. I just can't stop, though. The guilt of breaking that promise weights heavily on my heart, growing heavier with each passing day, pushing me to repeat my actions again and again. I can feel myself being pulled further and further under each time. I continue to hold out, however, not letting myself end it until after the art show, knowing that I'd be able to have peace of mind if I could see Gilbert sing one last time before I go.

Tomorrow I'll wrap up my painting carefully, ensuring that it won't get damaged on the way to the art show. I'll dress in nice clothes. I'll go downstairs and make pancakes for everyone and make sure that I remember to give some to Kumataco (BETA NOTE: "Kumataco"? Can't tell if typo or purposeful...)one last time. Then I'll go to the art show with my parents and Al.

They announce the winners for the visual arts department first, music is second, followed by theatre and then dace. I'll stay until after Gil sings. I promise d him that I'd be there to watch him perform. I've already broken one promise to him by cutting, and I don't intend to break a second.

After Gil performs, I'll slip away to the roof. Gil and I would sit there together at lunch everyday of the two weeks we were able to be together in peace. There, surrounded by memories of happy times spent with mon amour, I'll end it. I'll leave the letter I wrote, addressed to Gil, beside me. I hope that whoever finds my body will make sure that he gets it. I don't want to die without leaving some kind of explanation of my actions behind for him. I just hope that Gil will understand that is isn't his fault, that this was my choice, and mine alone. I don't want him to feel any guilt over me. I want him to know that I love him, and I always will. I'll make sure to heaven, or well, wherever people who commit suicide go when they die.

I lay back on the makeshift bed. Everything's ready for tomorrow. My painting's done, my outfit's set aside, the letter is written, and a razor is placed aside with the outfit. All that's left to do is wait for tomorrow to come. As I relax, my mind fills with thoughts of Gilbert. I feel horrible for betraying him. I want nothing more then to run to him and have him hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I can't do that, though; I don't deserve it. Gilbert deserves to have someone who isn't so broken and who will stay true to their promises. I hope that after I'm gone, he'll forget me, move on, and find someone new to love. I'm not worth remembering, nor am I worthy of his love. I want him to find someone who is. I love Gilbert with all of my heart and I always will, but he should love someone better than me.

I eventually drift off to sleep, my mind playing through memories of happier times with Gil.

~Time skip to the Morning~

Gilbert's POV

I open my eyes and just stare at my ceiling for a bit. Today's the day, my last chance to try and get through to Birdie. I don't know why, but I have this feeling in my gut that is telling me that if I fail today that I won't get another chance. I pray that my gut is wrong. I don't want to lose mein Birdie. He means more to me than anyone else has in mein entire life. Hell, Birdie means more to me than my own life. I'd die for him. I would give up my life in a moment if it would save my Birdie.

I get out of bed and get dressed in my good black skinny jeans, a white V-neck t-shirt, a grey vest, my purple doc martins, and my black fingerless gloves with a small, red maple leaf sewn into the back of the left glove, right below my thumb. Birdie gave them to me the day before I fond him bleeding in the woods.

Next to the gloves on my dresser is a small velvet box. Inside of it is an iron cross, identical to the one I wear. The only difference between the two is that engraved on the back are the words "Birdie, ich liebe dich. Je' taime. Always." I was going to give it to Birdie the day after the incident, because it was our one month anniversary. Birdie locked himself in his studio, though, and I never got the change to give it to him. I hope that I can do so today. There's been a tradition in my family for centuries to give the one you love an iron cross. Supposedly my mother's side of the family is descended from King Frederick the Great of Prussia, which is where the tradition began.

I pick up the box and stare at it for a moment before placing it gently in my pocket. I pick up my guitar case. After double-checking that my guitar is tuned properly, something I tend to do when I'm nervous before an important performance, I head downstairs and go to the kitchen, where Lud and Opa are eating. There's a plate set out for me. I sit down and attempt to eat some of my breakfast, yet I find myself unable to stomach more than a few bites.

Opa sighs when he sees me not eating. He and West both know about Matthew locking himself in his studio, and they can see how much the worry is doing to me. I haven't' been able to sleep or eat properly all week, since that night.

"Gilbert, he will be okay. He knows that you love him and you want to help. He will listen," Opa says, placing a reassuring hand upon my shoulder. I look up at him and give him a grateful smile.

After we finish eating, we clean up and pile into the car. There's no school today as the whole day is taken up by the art show. Once we arrive, I do to the music room to sign in and drop off my guitar. It'll stay there while everyone is looking at the gallery. They won't announce winners for music and let us perform until later. Until then, we're allowed to go look at the art with our families.

I quickly go through signing in and leaving my guitar. I want to look for Matthew. Hopefully, I'll be able to find him before they start to announce the art winners. I say a quick, silent prayer to the souls of mein mutti und Fritz. I ask them for help und guidance in finding mein liebe. If anyone can help me, it's them. Even though they've passed away. I have always known that they and mein vatti have been watching over me und West from heaven as angels. I know that they'll help me somehow. With that knowledge in my mind, I head off to find mein vögelchan.

Matthew's POV

Waking up the next morning, I get out of my makeshift bed. I quickly get dressed in my dark blue skinny jeans, the long sleeved t-shirt that I bought with Gil that has the polar bear and maple leaves on it, and his leather jacket with the Prussian Eagle on the back. I'd never gotten around to giving it back to him after our first date. He always seemed totally fine with that though, making sure to comment on how cute I look in it, whenever I wore it. On my feet are my worn red converse.

After I'm dressed, I check if my painting is dry or not. When I find that it is, I carefully wrap it in bubble wrap and blankets, making sure that it's safe and secure so that it won't get damaged on the way to the art show. I carry it downstairs, barely able to fit it through the doorways, and set it by the front door.

I then head to the kitchen, getting started on making pancakes for my family. I want to have pancakes one last time, and I also want to make sure that today is special for them. I love them, and I want their last memories of their time with me to be happy ones. As I cook, the smell of pancakes fills the house. I set the table, putting coffee and tea at Alfred and Arthur's seats, respectively. I make sure to set the newspaper at Arthur's seat and a coffee at Francis's. Just as I finish and go back to watch the pancakes and flip the first batch off the pan, everyone else begins to wake up and make their way downstairs, drawn by the smell of pancakes.

Francis if the first one down. He looks a little surprised to see the table set already. When he sees me standing at the stove, he breaks into a joy-filled yet gentle smile. He walks up and hugs me tightly.

Placing a kiss on the top of my head, he speaks in a quiet voice, "It's so good to have you back, mon petite garçon. You had me and your father so worried. I'm glad you're better now, though."

He pecks my cheek, goes to the table, and sits down. As he takes a sip of his coffee, his eyebrows shoot up.

"Mattieu! Did you put vanilla in this!?"

I smile. On special occasions, Francis likes to put a small touch of vanilla extract in his coffee.

I nod and respond, "Oui. I thought today should be special. You know, with the art show and all."

He chuckles, "That it is. I can't wait to see your painting. You've been hiding it away in your studio this past week, and I'm so excited to see the final product. I shall have to make extra sure to get a good seat when they announce the winners."

"Are you talking to yourself, Frog!?" Arthur yells, entering the kitchen and not noticing me at first, as he's facing the table with his back to me.

"Non, mon doux Anglais. I was talking to Mattieu," Francis replies, an amussed smile on his lips at the Englishman's disheveled hair and rumpled shirt. I find myself unable to suppress a small giggle which manages to escape my lips.

Arthur whips around to face me when he hears my giggle. He rushes up to me and hugs me tighter than Francis did, throwing me off guard. Arthur is definitely not one for big displays of affection, so needless to say, a hug like this from him took me by surprise.

"Don't you dare scare us like that ever again, young man. You have absolutely no idea how worried we've been," he says, trying to sound angry but it's easy to see that he's really relieved.

I hug him back and reply, "I'm sorry, Dad. I just got so caught up in my art piece. I didn't want to leave it."

He sighs and releases me, giving me a smile, "Just don't do it again, okay?"

"I won't," I reply, giving him a smile in return.

Arthur nods and straightens his shirt and tie, sitting down at the table to read the newspaper and sip the tea that I set out for him. There's a silence for a bit as I give them each some pancakes before cooking more. If you're wondering why I'm making so many, well, let's just say Al has one hell of a stomach.

Al comes down not too long after Arthur. Alfred is kind of like a zombie in the mornings before he has his coffee, so he goes straight to the mug I set out for him. It's his superhero one I got him for his birthday a few years back, covered in the symbols of different heroes. After he is somewhat coherent, he looks around to see the whole table set and smell the pancakes. When he turns around, he sees me standing at the stove cooking more.

He stares at me for a minute, not making a sound. He walks towards me silently, and without saying a single word, he wraps his arms around me. He just stands there for a while, holding me. I hug him back, despite being totally shocked by his silence. I had expected him to yell and pounce on me, so this silence is extremely concerning.

"Mattie…please don't' do that again. It's not cool to make the hero worry like that. I know that we're not brothers by blood. but you're still really important to me," he says, his voice as quiet as mine is normally.

I smile and hug him back. "Sorry, Al."

He releases me and sits down at the table. I place the rest of the pancakes down and sit down with everyone else to eat my own pile of the fluffiness drenched in liquid amber heaven. We eat peacefully, occasionally chatting aboot different things. It's nice; the perfect way to spend the last bit of quality time with my family. Once we finish, we quickly clean up. We head out, piling into Al's pick up truck, since it's the only car big enough to hold the painting. I sit in the bed of the truck with my painting to make sure nothing bad happens to it on the way to the school. The others get in the front, and we head off.

I begin to grow more apprehensive the closer we get to the school. My stomach ties itself into knots at the thought of running into Gil. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, not after having spent the last week breaking my promise to him over and over again. I'll have to do my best to avoid him until he performs. I'll definitely watch him sing; I can't break that promise, too.

After that, I'll slip away to the roof, where I'll finally be able to free myself from this overbearing guilt. I reach into the pocket of his leather jacket and finger the envelope in it. Inside is my letter to Gil.

A sense of calm seems to wash over me as the school comes into view. There's no going back now; this is the point of no return. Somehow, knowing that once I walk through those doors, I won't come back out alive calms me. My suffering is almost over. I take a deep breath as the car comes to a stop and climb out of the back, ready to die.

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><p>AN: Hallo mein lieblings! Oh yeah! I got two chapters done so fast! I feel so accomplished! I am so happy. I'm on a roll and I hope that it won't stop anytime soon. Thank you to those who've already reviewed chapter 16. I love your reviews. They are truly what keep me writing. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I do. Matthew having sweet moments with his family is just so touching. I love it. Well I hope that you enjoyed it.

As always a word from my fantastic Beta Sakura 414:

So... I keep catching musical references in this story... Thankfully, according to the remainder of Wolf-chan's note, I'm not crazy this time! :D *pets Gilbird* Anyway, my theatre geek-ness aside, thank you all for continuing to read and support Wolf-chan's work!

Again. You are all freaking amazing and deserve Gilbird's. In fact. Anyone who can spot the Phantom of the Opera Reference in this chapter get's their own little Gilbird. Enjoy searching.

I have nothing left to say so, Until next time mein lieblings, Wolf-chan out.


	18. Chapter 18: Last Moments

A/N: Three chapters in such a short period of time, wow the world must be ending. Anyway. I know I left you guys off with a huge cliff hanger last time so hopefully you enjoy this chapter as compensation. I'll say more in the author's note at the bottom of the chapter.

Here you go, Chapter 18, Enjoy

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><p><span>Chapter XVIII<span>

Gilbert's POV

After signing in my guitar, I start to look around for Birdie while Opa and West park the car. We took West's today. It's a pale blue vintage Volkswagen, and he worked hard to pay for it and fix it up himself. Anyway, back to looking for Birdie. It seems like it doesn't matter how hard I look for him; he just can't be found. I worry that he didn't come to the art show after all. My worries are calmed, however, when I find his parents. They assure me that he came with them to the show. This knowledge, renews my vigor in searching for him. I finally find him coming out of the room where the visual art students are supposed to drop off their art pieces if they're competing.

I've almost given up on finding him, thinking he's left, when I see him leaving the room. I need to talk to him, at least make sure that he will watch me sing. He needs to stay long enough to hear the song I wrote for him, even if he leaves right after.

"Birdie!" I call out, rushing up and grasping his hand so that he can't run from me. I know I don't have long, because they'll soon be calling everyone to the main room to announce the winners of the competition.

He jumps at my voice and looks at me with scared- no, terrified, wide, lavender eyes.

"Listen, I'm not going to ask you to tell me what happened if you don't want me to. I just want to know that you'll stay long enough to hear my song. I need for you to hear it. Do you promise to stay?" I ask quickly, my heart pounding nervously in my chest.

He gives me a small smile, though I can easily tell that it doesn't reach his eyes, as he replies in that soft, sweet voice of his, "Of course I'll stay to hear you sing Gil. I already promised you that I would, didn't I?"

I frown and hug him, whispering, "I was so worried about you Matthew. It was so unawesome of you to scare the awesome me like that."

Birdie seems to tense up when up hug him but says, "I'm sorry that I worried you Gil. I swear that you won't have to worry about me anymore after today."

The sentence strikes me as odd, and that feeling from that night settles in my stomach. I pull away and look into Birdie's eyes, searching them any possible hidden meaning behind his words.

"Birdie, please promise me that you aren't planning on doing something that you're going to regret," I beg him, my own crimson eyes pleading for him to tell me his plan, whatever it may be.

For a moment, a bit of fear and guilt flashes in his eyes, yet it's gone so fast that I'm left wondering if I even actually saw it there in the first place. He gives me a smile that, yet again, doesn't seem to reach his eyes. He leans up and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Don't worry, Gil-bear. I'm not going to do anything I'll regret," he tells me.

I just nod my head, not fully reassured, and hug him tightly. "Good."

Suddenly, a voice speaks through the intercom."Everyone, please make their way to the show room. It is now time to announce our winners from each department."

Birdie smiles up at me, saying, 'Well we've got to go. Good luck, Gil-Bear. I promise that I'll listen to your song. Just make sure that you get a good seat to see my painting."

A gentle smile spreads over my lips and I kiss him lovingly, speaking softly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, mein liebe."

He smiles back at me, placing one last kiss on my lips, before hurrying off to find where the visual arts students are supposed to be.

Everyone is gathering in the large show room. A stage is at one end of the room. The students in the contest sit in the front of the crowd. Dancers are on either side of them. Musicians are directly behind them with the theatre kids. From my spot with the musicians, I have a perfect view of mein Birdie. A microphone is set up front and center on the stage.

After several minutes of people moving around and finding seats, the crowd finally settles down and the Principal of the school walks out to the microphone. He's an older man with a snow white beard and cold, steel grey eyes. He's the great-grandfather of two of the students that go to the school, Ivan and Natasha Braginski. I think that Ivan's grandfather being the principal is the reason that Ivan has never been held accountable for bullying Birdie. Then again, Birdie never told anyone about Ivan bullying him, so I guess no one knew that Ivan deserved to be punished. Anyway, back to the present. The principal taps on the microphone to test it before speaking in a deep, yet somehow gentle voice.

"Families and friends, Welcome to our 24thAnnual School Wide Art show. Students from each of the four arts departments have entered pieces to be judged. They have worked very hard, and each one has done an Amazing job. I shall now hand the Microphone over to Mr. Romulus Vargas, our head visual arts teacher, so that he may announce the winners from the visual arts department."

Principal Winter steps aside as Mr. Vargas practically bounces up to the mic. He's all smiles, and I find myself cracking a small grin, despite how worried I am about Birdie. Mr. Vargas and his grandson, Feliciano, both have that effect on people, and so does Lovino when he's in a good mood and actually smiles, which is extremely rare.

"Ciao! My name, as Principal Winter said, Is Romulus Vargas, and I am here to announce the winners of the Visual arts department."

There's a small round of applause before he continues.

"This year, there were so many fantastic artists, and many wonderful pieces of artwork have been entered into the show. It was extremely hard for our judges to choose the winners. I'm so proud to have had the honor and privilege of being their teacher and getting to watch them grow as artists and as people. I'll start by announcing our top art pieces from each grade then our top piece school wide."

I don't really pay attention to the names being announced or the artwork being shown. I do notice that the top Junior piece isn't Birdie's. I have this feeling in my gut that his piece is going to be in the top three school wide. I've seen some of his artwork and I know that he has the skill to pull it off.

"Now for first prize with best piece school wide. Now folks, I have been teaching for many, many years. I've been in the art world for even longer, and I must say that never before has there been a piece I have seen in my life with more feeling and pure emotion in it than this one. In truth, it brought tears to my eyes," Mr. Vargas says.

"Without further stalling, I would like to invite Junior Matthew Williams Bonnafoy-Kirkland to the stage to show his piece, My Red Eyed Guardian Angel."

I clap loudly and cheer as I watch mein Birdie stand and walk up the steps onto the stage. There is a large canvas wheeled onto the stage covered in a huge black cloth.

Birdie steps up to the piece, and, taking a fistful of the black material, takes a moment to breathe before tearing it away to reveal the painting beneath. There's absolute silence in the room, broken only by the rustling of the black cloth as it falls to the floor.

My breathing stops as I look upon Birdie's painting. It shows the view from someone's eyes as they reach towards an angel. Their hand is reaching out towards the angel, and their wrists are covered in scars and cuts, some old and barely there, others fresh and bleeding. The angel itself, though, is what truly shocks me. I'm the angel. Birdie painted his angel with pale, almost white skin, silver hair, and crimson eyes. On their face is a kind and loving smile. The eyes are so full of love, it almost brings tears to my own eyes. I'm holding my hand for the person to take, pure white wings stretching out gloriously behind me. I can tell that the hand reaching for the angel is meant to be Birdie's. His curl is even painted in just barely. I'm shocked that Birdie would choose to paint me as his angel. I'm not all that great. I just love Birdie, and I do my best to show him just how amazing he is and how much he means to me.

Birdie turns to face the audience, for until now he's been facing the painting. He approaches the microphone and smiles, but as before, I can tell it's not a true smile.

"Hi. I'm Matthew Williams Bonnafoy-Kirkland. I'm the one who painted this piece. I made it to show how much someone means to me. He's really helped to pull me through a dark time. He's helped me more than you could ever imagine, and I wanted to show him just how much he means to me. The person who helped me is my wonderful boyfriend. I love him more than words could ever show, so I'm showing my gratitude and love for him through this painting. I'm honored that it is considered good enough to be awarded Best in the School. It makes me happy to know that it's seen as a good art piece. I just pray that my emotions get through to the one I painted it for. I know that you're in the audience, and you know who you are, and I want to say thank you. I see this painting as my final goodbye to all the pain and hardship that you've saved me from. I want to say farewell to all the pain and leave it behind. I hope that I was able to show this through my painting, and I'm honored that the judges liked it. Thank you," he says, his voice quiet, even through the microphone.

The whole time he is speaking, his eyes stay locked on mine. I can see every emotion that passes through the violet orbs that have captured my heart. It's then that I can tell, this painting isn't just his final goodbye to his pain and his way of showing how much he is grateful to me. No, there's much more. I just know there is, but I don't know what. Either way, I don't like it one bit.

Birdie bows, steps down off the stage, and returns to his seat. There's absolute silence as he does so. Then someone starts to clap, and soon, the whole room is cheering. I stay silent, though, my eyes locked on Birdie's form. Something is definitely not right with mein kliener Birdie, and somehow, I'm going to find out what it is.

Mr. Vargas returns to the microphone and says, "Grazie, Matteo, and I'm sure that whoever the lucky boy is, he will understand your love for him. Now, seeing as I am done with announcing all of the winners for the visual arts department, I would like to introduce Signor Edelstein, the head of our music department."

Romulus steps away from the microphone and walks off the stage as Rodriech approaches the microphone to announce the music department winners. Rodriech already told me that I won best in school, so that I would be prepared to sing when he announced me as the winner. I'll be performing my piece once all the other winners of the grades are announced. I fidget nervously as he grows closer and closer to announcing the school wide winner. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, it's time.

"Now to announce the winner of Best Originally Composed Piece school wide. Before I release their name, I would like to say that I have never heard, in all my years, a song written shows a more pure feeling of caring, devotion, and love in it. I am honored an extremely proud to announce the winner, my younger cousin, Gilbert Beilschmidt, recognized for self composed piece, 'My Everything',"Rodriech says, a pride filled smile on his face.

A polite round of applause goes through the room, but I don't hear it as I stand and approach the stage. I stand facing Rodriech, the stage on one side of me and the crowd on my other side.

Rodriech shakes my hand and says, "Congratulations, Gilbert. I cannot think of a person more deserving of this award than you." Then, dropping his voice to a level that only we can hear, "Also, good luck, I hope that he listens." Rodriech and Elizavetta also know of my dilemma with Birdie, though, like Ludwig and Opa, they only know that he won't talk to me.

Nodding my head I reply in an equally quiet voice, "Thank you, and so do I."

I drop my hand from his as a helper comes out on the stage with a stool and my guitar case. The school said they would provide me with one to play, but I had instead that it had to be mine. I take the guitar case and set it on the ground, taking a quick moment to run my fingers over the pictures on the case, lingering on the one of me and Birdie. I lift the lid and take out my guitar before bringing my index and middle fingers to my lips and pressing them gently on the photo that I have taped to it. He one of me and Birdie, lost in our own little word. I say a silent prayer to mein mutti und Old Man Fritz to help me.

I stand and place the guitar strap over my shoulder. Doing a quick check to make sure that my guitar is properly tuned, I sit on the stool and take a moment to get situated before deciding to just stand, too nervous to play while sitting. I then adjust the microphone to the proper height, before saying, "Hey, my name's Gilbert, as Roddy said, and yeah I am his cousin, but just so you know, he wasn't one of the judges, so I didn't win because of that. Before I play you my song, I want to say that I wrote it for someone who's really special to me."

My eyes quickly scan the room, looking for Birdie. I find him at the very back, by the doors to leave. Our eyes connect, and I begin to play.

Matthew's POV

While Gil's cousin, Mr. Edelstein, is announcing the winners for the top in grade for the music department, the visual arts students are allowed to go and sit with their families. Instead of going to sit with Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, I go to the very back of the room. I stand right in front of the doors leading out into the hallways. This way I can slip out without being noticed as soon as Gil's done with his song.

I listen Mr. Edelstein announce Gilbert as the winner of Best Self-Composed Piece School Wide and applaud as Gil goes up to the stage. He shakes his cousin's hand and then gets his guitar case from the helper who brings it out. He places it on the ground and traces his fingers over the lid for a moment before opening it and taking the guitar out. He kisses his fingers and places them on the picture of us that he has taped there. Seeing him do that makes my hearts tighten.

When he says that he wrote his song for someone special to him, I wonder for a moment if it's me. I haven't heard it yet, so I don't know what to expect. If I had to guess, he probably wrote the song for his brother or his grandfather, or Opa, as Gilbert calls him.

I see him scanning the room, as if searching for something. When his gaze falls upon me, I find myself meeting it with my own. Our eyes stay riveted on each other as he starts to play. (Just a quick note: I suggest listening to the song by Pink, F**king Perfect or just Perfect if you want the censored version, while you read the next part. That's the tune, I just rewrote the lyrics.)

_See you standing,_

_Under open sky._

_You're so lonely~,_

_You wanna cry._

_Though you seem fine,_

_I know you're not,_

_In so much pain~,_

_You wanna Die._

_You're beautiful, you can't see that yourself._

_I will be there for you,_

_To help you see the truth~._

_I care for you,_

_More than you can ever_

_See, and I will show you_

_Every single day~._

_You're so wonderful,_

_So don't ever thing you're not~_

_Cause I'll show you,_

_That you are dear._

_How can you not see,_

_How much you mean to me?_

_You're so much,_

_You are my~_

_Everything._

My breath catches in my throat. Gilbert's gaze keeps me frozen in place as he sings. As I listen, I wonder who he had written the song for. Surely he didn't write it for me. I don't deserve to have someone like Gil writing songs for me.

_I've seen them,_

_All your scars._

_There's so many~,_

_They break my heart._

_It hurts me,_

_To know you want, _

_To end~_

_You~r life._

_Know I care for you_

_I won't let you end it._

_You're too precious to me,_

_Mein liebe why can't you see?~_

_You're so tough,_

_You put up with all this pain,_

_I will try to free you, _

_I won't leave you alone._

_You're so wonderful~_

_So don't ever think you're not~._

_Cause I'll show you_

_That you are dear._

_How can you not see,_

_How much you mean to me?_

_You are so much_

_You are my~_

_Everything. _

I gasp and my eyes go wide as I listen to the lyrics. When he mentions scars, I know it's for me. Gilbert wrote this song for me. I can't believe he wrote a song just to try and show me how much he cares about me. My lavender eyes glaze over with moisture, but I don't let the tears fall. I make sure that my vision of Gilbert is clear and unhindered by tears so that I don't miss even a second of watching his performance.

_I see your fear_

_Hidden deep inside_

_All your pain is covered_

_Deep within your mind._

_I wanna help_

_You, with all this pain._

_I won't leave it be_

_I will be at your side._

_I won't let nobody hurt you_

_And I'll protect you._

_Don't forget your dreams_

_Cause I will be there_

_Don't change at all_

_For you are perfect._

_Please, tell me what's up._

_Please, tell me what's up._

_Why won't you tell me?_

_WHOAAA~_

_OH Birdie Birdie Babe_

_You're so amazing! _

_Don't you ever think you're less than_

_Pure perfection_

_Oh yes you are~_

_You're so awesome babe~_

_So please don't ever feel like_

_You're less than_

_You are my e-ver-_

_-y-thing_

_You're lovely,_

_You're mine_

_You're so breathtaking._

_Don't everything you're less then_

_Pure perfection._

_You are my e-ver-_

_-y-thing_

There's silence as Gilbert plays the last note. He looks straight into my eyes and says, "Birdie, I wrote this song for you. I want to always be at your side to help you, whatever your hardship is. I care for you with all of my heart, and I promise you that I always will. Please let me in so that I can help you. Birdie…Ich liebe dich…I love you."

The tears, which have been filling my eyes the whole time, finally spill over. They roll down my cheeks, and I can almost see the hurt in Gil's eyes as seeing me cry.

It's time for me to go now. It's almost time for me to leave all my pain behind, and soon, Gilbert won't have to worry about me ever again.

I whisper the words, "I'm sorry Gil. Je' Taime aussi," before I slip silently out the door and hurry towards the roof. It's time for me to die.

* * *

><p>AN: Me: *Hides behind Denmark* Please don't kill me! (Denmark is now my partner for these author notes because I got lonely and Denmark is an awesome ex-Viking who can protect me if you guys get really angry and he's really cute and one of my tops countries I would date. Prussia and Canada are off somewhere, I'm not sure where.)

Denmark: *Pats my head* Don't worry Wolf-chan. They won't kill you. You're the author so if the kill you then they don't get an ending to the story.

Me: oh yeah. But still, they can get scary when they're mad. *shivers*

Denmark: *laughs* stop freaking out and tell them about whatever you normally babble on about.

Me: Okay. So yeah thanks to you all for reading. It makes me really happy when I get reviews. Don't worry about sounding annoying, the more odd the review, the more fun I have reading it. Getting the long and the weird ones are my favorites so don't ever hesitate to send one, even if you think you're going to sound really annoying and fan girlish. I don't care and I love all the reviews that you send me.

Denmark: Yeah don't be shy, she seriously loves getting reviews guys so send more, even if you think they'll sound weird, long or annoying.

Me: Also on a more serious note. I put this in a previous author's note but I just want to say it again. Self-Harm is a rally serious issue you guys and I know first hand what it's like to want to hurt myself. I never actually did cut though (at least not intentionally, I'm clumsy and use exacto knives in my artwork sometimes :P). I didn't cut, because I knew that it would hurt the people who love and care about me. If any of you have ever self-harmed, are self-harming, or want to, please don't hesitate for even a second to send me a message. I will listen to anyone's problems, no matter how small and I will do everything in my power to help you, even if you just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to just talk to. I want to help in any way that I can and I promise that I will never judge you. I keep and open mind, and open heart and open arms for anyone who needs a friend, a support, or even just a hug. Please. If you're struggling with something like self-harm, or even just stress form school and family and need someone to vent to, you can always message me and I will listen. I'm not just saying it either. I truly want to help. So please, know that you're not alone and though I may not know any of you, it doesn't mean that I don't care, I do and I will be here for anyone who needs my help. Please, don't try and take the weight onto your own shoulders. I'm here to help share the burden, no matter how small it may be.

Denmark: Now on a lighter note, Wolf-chan really hopes that you liked this chapter despite leaving you with yet another cliffhanger.

Me: I'm sorry! I promise I'll update as soon as I can, though it may not be until after Thanksgiving break because I'm going to Florida to see my grandparents and I don't know if I'll be able to use a computer while I'm there. But don't worry, I'll do my best to get the next chapter out to you guys, ASAP.

Denmark: yeah so please be a little patient. Wolf-chan keeps beating herself up about not being able to get chapters out to you as fast as she wants to but she's working her butt off to get them to you.

Me: Yeah so I hope you like this *looks at page count* Holy crap! 11PAGE chapter. *faints*

Denmark: *Rolls eyes and pouts water on me*

Me: *Sputters and wakes up* Thank you Denmark. As I was saying. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Here as always is a word form my talented, beautiful and fabulous Beta Sakura414:

Talented? Beautiful? Fabulous? Nah, just your friendly neighborhood grammar nazi. ^.^ Anyway, for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, be sure to enjoy lots of delicious food! For those of you who don't, have a happy Thursday, and eat lots of delicious food anyway, because food is good. :)

Me: anyway. I have to go and do stuff for my mom. I again hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review. I love them all so much and I reply to every single one (at least the ones that I can reply to). Please keep them coming. They are what keep me writing for you guys.

Denmark: Yup she goes all crazy when she gets them, she loves them so keep 'em coming.

Until next time mein lieblings. Wolf-chan out.


	19. Chapter 19: A Fear Like No Other

A/N: Finally I'm so sorry you guys! I seriously tried getting this out to you ages ago but stuff kept coming up and I never got a chance to type it all out. SO yeah I'll do my rant at the bottom since I think that if I make you guys wait any longer I'll get murdered. So yeah here you go. *runs and hides behind Denmark*

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, if I did Denmark, Prussia, and Canada would get way more screen time. Anyway all characters belong to the glorious Hima-Papa.

Warning: You're gonna want some tissues, just trust me on this.

Enjoy, (and please don't kill me! Your guys death threats are scary!) Chapter 19.

Chapter XIX

Gilbert's POV

As I finish my song, the final note fading into silence, my eyes stay locked with Birdie's. I speak, hopefully making him see how much I care about and want to help him.

"Birdie, I wrote this song for you. I want to always be at your side to help you, whatever your hardship may be. I care for you with all of my heart, and I promise you that I always will. So please, let me in so that I can help you. Birdie…Ich liebe dich…I love you."

I see tears spill down Birdie's cheeks. My heart clenches at the sight of mein liebe crying like this. I can see him whisper, and, though I can't hear him, I can tell perfectly what he is saying.

"I'm sorry, Gil. Je' taime aussi."

Then, mein wunderhubsch vögelchan, slips out the back door of the room and disappears. A dread fills mein heart, and I have a feeling that if I don't go after him now, I won't ever see him again.

Rodreich approaches me, und I thrust mein guitar towards him. He looks confused at first, but when he sees the urgency in mein eyes, his faces becomes serious.

He takes the guitar from me and says, "Go do what you need to do."

I nod, giving him a look that shows my appreciation, before I turn and leap off the stage, sprinting up the center aisle towards the very same door which Birdie slipped away through. Bursting through it at full speed, I look around frantically for mein Birdie. When I see no sign of him, my heart drops. Our school is huge, and there are hundreds of places where he could be. Suddenly, one place in particular comes to mind. Birdie and I would eat lunch there together, and we have many happy memories there. It's worth a shot to look, so I quickly take off towards the stairs that lead to the roof, praying that he's there.

After a few minutes, I find myself at the top of the stairs, the door leading to the roof staring me in the face. Taking a deep breath, I try to open it, only to find that it's locked. Now I know that this is where Birdie is. This door is always unlocked, the only way to lock it being from the outside.

"Birdie, please open the door!" I yell, desperately pounding my fist against it. "Please! I need to talk to you!"

When I receive no answer, the feeling of dread in my heart only increases. I take a few steps back and kick the door with every ounce of strength that I can muster, which is an impressive amount. The door gives out, slamming open with a loud bang to reveal a sight that will haunt me until the day I die.

Mein wertvoll Birdie is on the ground with his wrist slit open, his blood pouring out. It's so much worse than when I found him in the bathroom on the night when we first

confessed. That was nothing compared to now. I can tell that this is no accident of cutting a little too deep. Mein Birdie is trying to die. Oh gott, there's so much blood, you can smell it in the air.

I rush forward and instantly drop to my knees at Mein lover's side. Getting my phone, I pull him into my lap. I dial 911, trying desperately to slow the blood flowing from his open wounds.

As soon as someone answers the phone, I say frantically, "Please! My boyfriend just tried to kill himself. We're on the roof of Hetalia International High School. Hurry! He needs help. He's bleeding out. Please, help me!"

"Don't worry, sir. There's an ambulance on route to your location. Just stay calm until they arrive," the calm, female voice on the other side replies.

"Danke," I say and hang up.

I look down at Birdie in my arms. He looks so fragile and pale. My eyes fill with tears at seeing mein lover in such a state.

"Please Birdie, hold on. I need you more than you can ever imagine, so live for me," I manage to choke out as I try to hold back my sobs, with little success. Holding him close, I continue to try and stop the bleeding as I stroke his face and hair.

After a little bit, I can hear the sirens of the ambulance in the distance, quickly growing louder until they stop in front of the school. There's a commotion before they rush out the door onto the roof. The paramedics pull Birdie out from my arms. I fight back and try to reach for him, screaming. Two strong arms hold me back as I try to get to him, afraid to leave his side. I'm not listening to what the people around me are saying until a familiar voice cuts through the noise.

"Bruder! Bruder, stop it! They're trying to help him!"

I look up at the person who is holding me back and see that it's Ludwig. It takes my mind a moment to register it, but once I do, I stop fighting against him. My body goes limp as tears roll down my cheeks.

Ludwig's eyes grow wide at the sight of my tears, as do Rodreich's, Elizavetta's, and Opa's. The last time any one of them saw me cry was after the car accident that took the lives of mein parents, when I'd been told that they hadn't survived the crash.

Ludwig holds me up as my body goes limp. Elizavetta gets on her knees and wraps her arms around me as well, so that she and Lud are holding me. She strokes my hair and says, "Shhh…it's going to be alright Gil. He's going to be okay."

I look up at her and reply, "H-how do you know that?"

She gives me a soft smile, "Because he has a loving boyfriend who needs him and who's waiting for him so that he can show him just how much he loves him. You can't give up on him; he needs you there to cheer him on so he has a reason to wake up," she tells me.

I nod my head in understanding. I hug her and whisper, "Danke, Liz."

She just continues to smile and says, "It's nothing. Now…go stay by his side."

Nodding my head, I stand to go after the paramedics as they carry Birdie down to the ambulance. Suddenly, something at the edge of my vision catches my eye. Turning my head, I see that it's an envelope. Leaning down to pick it up, I can see my name written on it in mein Birdie's neat handwriting. It must be his note. I hold it tightly in my hand as I race to catch the paramedics before they leave. I reach them just as they're loading Matthew into the back of the ambulance. Running up to them, I state in a serious voice, "I'm coming with you."

It seems like they're going to object, but one look at the serious expression on my face and they know that they won't be able to stop me, so they let me climb into the back next to Matthew. I reach out and brush some hair out of his face, stroking his cheek and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, whispering, "Hold on, mein liebe. I know you can do it, so don't give up. I'm right here waiting for you to wake up so that I can see those perfect eyes of yours. Ich liebe dich, Birdie. Je' taime, so please…don't give in…stay alive…for me."

The paramedics work quickly, trying to stop the slowed bleeding as we speed towards the hospital. When we arrive, I try to stay with Matthew, but the doctors won't let me and I'm forced to wait in the waiting room. It's not long after that when Birdie's family arrives, along with mine.

They spot me and hurry over, Francis crying, nearly hysterical. "What happened to Mattieu?! Mr. Edelstein told us that the ambulance was for mon petite garç on! Is it true?!"

I look up at him sadly, nodding my head.

"He…he slit his wrists. He's…he's been cutting for a long time. He asked me not to tell you because he didn't want to make you worry. I agreed as long as he promised me that he wouldn't cut anymore. He stopped, too. He didn't cut for two weeks, calling me whenever he felt like doing it. I'd go and help him. But…one week ago…I went for a walk really late and found him cutting in the woods near my house. I don't' know what made him cut, but whatever it was, it was really bad. I…I'm sorry…I couldn't help him," I explain, fighting back tears as I apologize, expecting them to be angry at me for not telling them before now.

All three men stare at me with shocked and horrified expressions upon their faces, as well as on those of Roddy, Liz, Lud and Opa. Francis collapses into a chair across from me and hides his face in his hands. Arthur sits next to him as his mind tries to process what I just told them., Alfred is the only one who remains standing. His eyes stay locked on me and I prepare myself to be hit. I know that Alfred doesn't like me and he probably blames me for what happened to his adopted younger brother. When the silence is finally broken, I'm surprised when Alfred is the one who speaks first, but I'm even more shocked by what he says.

"You don't have to apologize. You don't have anything to apologize for."

I look up at him, my confusion and surprise showing plainly on my face. He offers me a small, sad smile and explains.

"Gilbert, I've known my brother since Francis and Arthur adopted him when we were six. Never, in all that time, have I seen him smile as much as he has during the short time he's known you. You made Matthew happier in two weeks- no, one day, than Francis, Arthur and I could do in ten whole years. You're the best thing to happen to him since he joined our family, and you've grown closer to him in only a few days than any of us could ever hope to be. You've given him so much happiness, and for that, I can't possibly thank you enough. Especially now that you've saved his life. You saw him leave and somehow knew to go after him, and you saved him. I'm sorry about how I've treated you up until now. I just wanted to know that you wouldn't leave him. So Gilbert, you have nothing to apologize for."

I look at him, shocked, before giving a soft and grateful smile.

"Mein gott, Bruder. Is all of that true?" Lud asks me, coming out of his shocked stupor. I nod my head solemnly.

"Gott, what could have pushed the poor boy to go that far?" Opa wonders out loud, his normally stoic face showing a deeply disturbed and shocked expression.

I shake my head and reply, "That's not for me to tell you, mostly because I don't even know the whole truth. Only Birdie can be the one to tell that story, not me."

"Oh, God. What have I done, Francis? It's my fault. Lord, if only I hadn't forgotten him so often. I'm a disgrace of a parent," Arthur, who until now had been silent, cries, distraught.

"Nein, you didn't do anything wrong. Matthew never felt that you, Francis, and Alfred were anything less than the perfect family. He just felt like he didn't quite fit into it. He never once got mad at you, nor did he blame you for forgetting him, because he knows that you love him; you're just forgetful. He loves you three a lot, and that's why he didn't want me to tell you about his cutting. He said that he didn't want you to worry because of him. He didn't want you feeling like you were a bad family. I'm sorry that I never told you. You had every right to know, and I should have told you when I found out about it," I tell him.

"Nein," Opa cuts in, surprising me. I look up at him, not understanding. He gives me a soft smile, the likes of which I haven't seen from him since the times he would comfort Ludwig or I after the car accident all those years ago. He places a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You did what you believed was right, Gilbert. You were there for Matthew, and you've done your best to help him and to show him that he is loved. I am very proud of you, Gilbert."

It's now my turn to be shocked as I stare up at him. For once, I'm speechless. It's extremely rare for Opa to say that he's proud of me or Ludwig. I mean, we know that he is and that he cares about us both a lot, but it's just always been one of those things that you know is true, but is never said aloud.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and give him a great full smile, replying, "D-Danke, Opa. I…I was just trying to show Birdie, Matthew, just how much I care for him. I…I have never cared so much about someone before in mein whole life. He…he's so wertvoll to me…words cannot possibly hope to describe how important he is to me. I can't explain it, but…I need him, Opa. I know that I have only known him for a few weeks, but…I can't imagine life without him. I am so terrified of losing him."

Once again, Opa looks shocked. I haven't admitted to being scared, not even once, since before the crash. After it happened, I, in a way, put up walls around my heart. I stopped crying, I never let anyone see my fear, I hid it all behind a mask of cocky grins and false self-confidence, never showing any bit of weakness. I buried all of my weaknesses deep down in my heart. Yet, somehow, Birdie has broken through my mask of false smiles and all of the walls I'd built up so carefully around my heart. He, without even meaning or trying to, taught me to not be quite so afraid to show my true feelings. Birdie has worked his way into mein heart in a way that no one else ever has, and he's made himself a nest there, to stay. I don't feel like I need to put on my mask when I'm around him. And, though it will be a long time before I can cast it aside forever, I'm not afraid of showing him who I really am.

Germania's POV

I stare at Gilbert, thoroughly astonished. I haven't seen him like this since he was very small. Ever since the accident, he's always kept his emotions buried deep down in his heart. I don't think he realizes that I know this, but I have always been able to see it. He is mein grandson after all; I have known him his whole life.

Contrary to what most people may think, I care deeply for both of mein grandsons. They are all I have left after I lost mein son, their vater. I have done everything I could to provide them with a bright future und a good home.

After the accident that took their parents from us, Ludwig began to take after me, just as his vater did when he was a boy. He reminds me so much of his vater that sometimes

I have to stop myself from calling him by his vater's name. He works so hard, und I can tell he is trying to make me proud of him by becoming a lawyer, just like his vatti (was, even though I know that he wants to be a baker. I have done my best to encourage him to follow his own dream und not to worry about making me proud. I am already so proud of him und his bruder.

While Lud pushes himself to be more like their vatti, Gil changed in a different way. He stopped smiling; at least, not the way he would before the accident. His smiles became fake und mask-like. I believe that I am the only one to notice it, though I have a feeling Ludwig has noticed as well. I let him be, knowing that if he needed help or comfort, he would come to me und I would be there for him.

When Rodreich suggested that I bring the boys to America, saying that it would be good for them, I agreed, hoping that leaving behind the place their parents died would help them to finally move on. Neither one had any objections to it, having no friends who were close enough to make them want to stay in Germany.

The night before their first day of school, I sent a prayer to the souls of mein son und mein daughter-in-law to watch over the boys for me. I did it more to bring myself peace of mind than anything else, knowing that I would be able to breathe at least a little easier if the boys had their souls watching over them.

When Gilbert brought Matthew over und introduced me to him, I knew right away that he was going to be someone very special to my grandson. From the way that Gilbert looked at the boy, I just knew he was already important to him. Even if Gilbert didn't realize it yet himself, I knew.

As I watched them grow closer und begin to date, it was no surprise to me when they announced it. Gilbert looked terrified, though, that I would hate him for being gay, which would never happen. I care far too much about Gilbert to care if he is gay, not to mention that I have no room to talk when it comes to such things, being bisexual myself. Let's just say the boys do not know about that und I pray they never find out about mein time with a certain odd Italian man. Anyway, even back then when they first started to date, I could see Gilbert beginning to change once again, only this time, I believe, it was for the better.

When Gilbert told me that he was dating Matthew, after he got past the idea that I wasn't going to disown him for being gay, I saw something that I hadn't seen in years: I saw Gilbert smile. Not one of his fake smiles that he has been using for so long, but a real, truly happy smile. It surprised me, und for a few moments, I wasn't sure if I was really seeing it. It made me so happy to see him smile like that after seeing only false smiles for so long. Every time Gilbert looked at Matthew, he would smile at him with more happiness und liebe in his eyes then I had seen him show in all the years following his parents' death combined.

Gradually, I began to see more und more of those real smiles from him. He was letting himself be happy for the first time in nearly a decade. I could see the real Gilbert slowly coming back to us, und I know that I have Matthew to thank for it. Even if mein grandson doesn't see that Matthew is helping him to change, he is, und I owe Matthew so much for it.

Now, seeing Gilbert so distraught over Matthew's state, I find myself worrying. If Matthew does not pull through und live, I fear that Gilbert will never recover from losing him. I send a silent prayer to the souls of mein son und Daughter -in-law to watch over Matthew, praying that they can help him in some way. I place a hand on Gilbert's shoulder, in the hopes to comfort him. He looks up into mein eyes, his own crimson orbs full of fear und desperation.

"He will live, Gilbert. He has many people who love him, und who need him to live. He is loved by his family und by you most of all. There is not a doubt in mein mind that he will pull through. You merely need to believe it in your heart."

Gilbert's POV

I look up at Opa and give him a small smile. I think that was what I needed to hear. Matthew will live; I just need to have faith in him.

Everyone moves and sits down, Birdie's family sitting together. Roddy and Liz sit a little bit off with Opa. Lud sits with his bubbly Italian boyfriend, who for some odd reason, decided to come along. Looking down at mein hands, I see the envelope that I found on the roof. My name, printed on the front in Matthew's neat handwriting, stares me in the face. Whatever is in the envelope is obviously meant for me to see, and I have a sinking feeling that Matthew intended for this to be his note.

I carefully open it, mein hands are shaking slightly. Pulling out the contents of the envelope, I realize that it's a letter, several pages long, filled front and back with mein birdie's neat and careful script. Shifting slightly, I get comfortable, or at least as comfortable as one can get in a hospital waiting room chair, attempting to somehow prepare myself for whatever awaits me within the pages of Mein liebe's letter.

End of Chapter XIX

A/N: ME: Please don't kill me! *hides behind Denmark, as well as Sweden who's been called in for back up. Germany, America, Russia, and Prussia are on call as extra protection if needed.* I'm really sorry for taking so long. I didn't mean to, I promise! Stuff just kept getting in the way and I never go the chance to type this up.

Denmark: yeah she's had to deal with a sick little brother, state testing and a whole bunch of other crap that really sucks. But stuffs clearing up so she'll do her best to bring you more chapters soon.

Me: Yeah also, Please don't hate me for what I did to Mattie! Just be patient, I promise you, Ivan and Carlos are going to get what's coming to them eventually. It's just gonna take a while. Also I need suggestions for what o do with Ivan Cause I honestly Don't know what his punishment is going to be.

Denmark: It can not involve killing him slowly. It has to be reasonably given that Ivan's like 17 in the story. But you can also include a suggestion of what you want to do to him outside of the story. Whoever comes up with the most creative response gets to cuddle with Kumajiro and Italy's Kitties.

Me: yeah so send in your suggestions. OH and I'd like to thank Canadian Erect Mountie for pointing out the fact that I'm writing about a human high school AU and I used Matthew's country name in the Summary.

Denmark: It's true. She started this story almost a year ago and she never even noticed. Nice going Canadian Erect Mountie. Love the username by the way. So yeah keep the reviews coming. There keep her sane though please no more death threats to her or her characters. They're scary.

Me: *shivers* yeah like I have to sleep in the same room as Denmark cause I'm afraid you guys are gonna seep through the computer and haunt me till I get more updates.

Anyway as always here's a word from my lovely Beta Sakura414:

Wolf-chan has to sleep in the same room as Denmark? I wonder how Norway feels about that... *shot* Okay, dirty jokes aside, please don't kill Wolf-chan just yet... unless you plan on forming a mob and doing the deed in a Beauty and the Beast-style musical number. That I'd like to see. ;) Alright, enough of my ridiculous antics. Grazie mille for reading!

Sakura! Don't encourage them! Knowing my viewers quite a few are Les Mesirables fans so they probably WILL do a musical number and try to kill me! Don't forget I love you all mein lieblings and I love all of your reviews so send me more!

Until next time. Wolf-chan out.


	20. Chapter 20: A Painful Story Told at Last

A/N: Okay since I fear for my life after having Belarus and Hungary both sent after me I will type quickly. I'm not sure how well Denmark, Sweden, and an army of soul eating bunnies (lovingly lent to me by my lovely reviewer NOMNOMBUNNYWILLEATYOURSOUL) will fare against a knife wielding crazy woman and a pan weilding yaoi fan. SO yeah I'll type fast and try to finish the chapter before they get to me.

Here you go. Chapter 20 Enjoy.

Chapter XX

Matthew's Letter

_Dear Gilbert,_

_ You're probably really confused right now, and more likely than not, you're mad at me too. I won't be surprised if you are. After all, I broke my promise to you; I cut. I'm sorry to have broken my promise, and you have no idea how much I regret it, but you need to understand that I had no choice. I couldn't let you get hurt. You're the first good thing to come into my life since I lost my parents. I love you more than anything in the whole world, and I had to keep you from getting hurt._

_ I've left this letter for you, because I don't want to die without giving you some kind of explanation and hopefully the answers to the questions that I know you will have. First, however, I need to tell you something about when you discovered that I cut and I told you about my past. Well, I left some things out of the story that night, I really shouldn't have, so now, given what happened, I believe that you have a right to know the whole story. I just hope that your opinion of me won't be changed. Though, truthfully, I won't be surprised if you are disgusted and hate me for it. I mean, not that it matters all that much; I'll be dead by the time you read this, anyway, so I'll just put it all out on the table. Still, though, I don't want you to think less of me._

_When I was little, I lived with my parents and my cousin. My cousin's parents had died in a car accident when he was a baby and my parents had taken him in. He was several years older than me; eight years older, to be precise. He was a lot more grown up than others his age, though. For a while, we were all happy together. That all ended though, when my dad died. He was in one of the World Trade Center towers on 9/11 when they were hit. After he died, my mom was never the same again. She became extremely withdrawn and depressed, paying my cousin and I little to no attention._

_ Around that time, I began to become invisible. My cousin began to change as well. He was no longer the kind child who would eat ice cream and watch kids' movies with me. It was gradual, but he became a cruel and abusive person, taking most of that abusiveness out on me. He began to abuse and beat me down mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was only five when my cousin went through this change. He was thirteen._

_ On top of beating and insulting me, he would harass me sexually. He would touch me in ways that I didn't yet understand, being only five. It scared me, and I wanted it to stop, but he told me that if I ever told anyone about what he did to me, then he would push me off the roof of the house. It was a two story house with an attic on top, meaning it was very high up, and to a small, five year old me, it would mean death if I fell. Needless to say, I kept quiet._

_ I lived in silent terror with my cousin and my depressed mother for almost a year. The night of my sixth birthday, the first of July, ten months after 9/11 had taken place, I went to find me mother, hoping to receive a hug, kiss, and, if I was lucky, a happy birthday and a lullaby. She hadn't emerged from her room all day, but I hadn't found that strange because she'd taken to staying in her room all day. I'd only see her when I took her food and went in to say goodnight. However, instead of a hug and a kiss, I was met with the sight of my mother, hanging from her ceiling fan. She hadn't been able to bear being away from my dad anymore, so she'd taken her own life in order to be with him in the afterlife._

_ My cousin wasn't in the house when I found her. He'd been out at a friend's house the whole day. I knew what to do in an emergency, my dad having taught me before he died, and when I couldn't get any response from my mother's body, I called 911. I was too young at the time to realize that she was dead. When the police got there, two of them, a kind man with purple eyes like mine and a gentle smile named Tino and a larger, scary, yet, surprisingly gentle, man with sea green eyes named Berwald, took me to a room away from where my mother was. I showed them my room, which was on the opposite end of the house. It was simple and clean, with all my toys carefully pout away in their place. It seemed to surprise them that I was so neat and organized._

_ I told them that if I didn't keep my room clean, then my cousin would get mad at me, and I didn't want to get in trouble on my birthday. Tino had seemed sad that I had such a horror occur to me on my birthday, but he covered it up well by smiling and asking me how old I was and if I got anything nice. I responded by telling him that I was turning six and that I'd spent my day doing my chores of cleaning the house and making food for my cousin so he could eat when he got home. He seemed shocked and further saddened by the idea of me having no type of celebration at all. I didn't want him to feel bad, so I said that I was planning on putting on my favorite pajamas and watching one of my favorite movies, a documentary film about polar bears, because even back then they were my favorite animal._

_ That made Tino smile, and he put his police cap on my head, it falling down past my ears, causing me to giggle. Tino suggested that we go find my pajamas so I could put them on and they could watch the movie with me. That made me jump with glee. I had been so overjoyed at the thought of having people to celebrate my birthday with, as I'd been so certain that I'd be spending it alone._

_ I'd hurried to my closet, pulling over a chair to climb onto so I'd be able to reach a pale blue box and pull it down. In the box, was my favorite pajamas: white footie pajamas with a hood that had polar bear ears sewn onto it and a small fluffy tail attached to the back. (BETA NOTE: I want a pair of pajamas like that... it sounds adorable! Author Note: Sakura We ALL want a pair of pajamas like that.) I was so caught up in the happiness of having people to celebrate with that I forgot about the scars and bruises that covered my whole body, hidden under my long sleeved shirt and pants. I'd quickly gotten undressed so I could put my pajamas on._

_ I was just pulling them out of the box, where I kept them so that they wouldn't get damaged or ruined, when I felt a large hand being placed on my bare shoulder. I looked up and saw Berwald looking at me seriously, a strange sadness in his eyes that I hadn't understood. I just stared back at him with wide eyes, wondering why he had stopped me, and why he seemed so upset. I saw Tino behind him, horror in his eyes as he covered his mouth, fighting back tears._

_ When Berwald knelt down and looked me in the eyes, asking me where all my scars and bruises came from, I understood why their faces held such serious emotions. I remember trying to cover them up and using the excuse that my cousin told me to use if anyone ever did see my marks. I told them that I was very clumsy and accidentally got hurt a lot. The shared a look, and Tino got on his knees next to me. Taking my tiny hands in his gentle ones, he'd said that I could tell them the truth, and that I wouldn't get in trouble. I'd looked at my hands for a long time and asked if I could put on my pajamas, not wanting to tell them while only wearing my underwear. They let me, and once I was dressed, I told them everything. I told them about my cousin and all of the horrible things he'd done to me. By the time I'd finished, I was crying. Tino held me in his lap and comforted me, just like my mother had when I was upset before my dad died._

_ It was around that time when said cousin had arrived home. He'd run to my room and found me still crying in Tino's lap. Assuming I was crying about my mom, he tried to take me from Tino and comfort me himself, putting up the perfect guise of loving, worried cousin. Berwald had stopped him, though, and told him that they knew everything, so playing dumb you be useless. When he realized what they were talking about, he'd gotten really angry and tried to attack me. Berwald protected me and Tino, catching my cousin and putting him in handcuffs. Tino told me that I would never have to see him again, and that he would be taken far away to a place where he could no longer hurt me. I remember being so happy when he told me that._

_ After that, I was taken to the orphanage where Francis and Arthur would later adopt me. They were the perfect family, and I'd felt so blessed and fortunate to have gotten the chance to be a part of it. However, nightmares of what my cousin did to me plagued my dreams. They weren't too bad, as my new family was always there to comfort me whenever one sent me screaming awake in the middle of the night. I felt happier than I'd been since before my father's death._

_ I already told you, when you first discovered my secret, about how I started cutting. I was twelve and had a horrible day where I was particularly ignored and Ivan had been more cruel than usual in his beating. It had just been too much, and it was the only thing that helped. I never meant to make a habit of it. It's all how I told you before._

_ What I left out before, about my cousin and all that he did to me, well…there's more to it. I should have told you about it before; I should have told you that first night. My cousin…the one who was sent away all those years ago, he's not locked up anymore. Carlos is my cousin, the one who works at your friend, Lars', shop, "Tulips and Trinkets." I don't know how, but somehow he found me again. That's why I asked to leave so quickly when you took me there the day we met: I was scared to be around Carlos. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you then, but I couldn't. He threatened to hurt you if I told anyone who he was, and the thought of you hurt because of something I did terrifies me a hundred times worse than being pushes off the roof of a house. I wanted to tell you; trust me, I did. But I couldn't let you be in any danger._

_ One week ago, you found me in the woods with my arms cut up, and you deserve to know the truth about what happened that night. After school that day, you told me to wait for you by your car. Well, I did as you said, but, I wasn't alone. I was listening to music and reading, which made it possible for Carlos and Ivan to approach me without my noticing until they were upon me and it was too late for me to run. They…they told me to meet them in the woods at ten that night. I wanted to refuse; I wanted to refuse more than anything. I didn't want to be anywhere near them, but they threatened to hurt you. You'd become so important to me, so there was no way I could ever allow any harm to come to you. I love you too much to let that happen._

_ You're so wonderful to me, Gilbert, and you've made me so happy in the short time that we've spent together. I've been happier in the two weeks I've spend by your side then I was in all the years I spent without you. I love you, Gilbert, more than anything in the whole world. It's because of this that I couldn't let you get hurt by Carlos and Ivan . You're just too precious to me. So I agreed to meet them at the woods, even though I had no idea what they were planning for me._

_ When I went to the woods, just like they said to, they met me. I was so scared, and all I wanted to do was run to you and have you tell me that everything was alright, but I knew I had to be strong so that they wouldn't harm you. Instead of hurting me or touching me like I'd expected them to, they'd chosen a far worse punishment. Carlos gave me a razor and made me cut myself. I didn't want to; I hadn't cut in two weeks, and all because you were there for me and I'd promised you that I wouldn't do it. I had to, though, so that you could be safe from them. Once I started cutting, I just couldn't stop. The urge to cut came back, and after repressing it for so long, I just couldn't control it until I'd satisfied it with my own spilt blood._

_ When I'd finally quenched my urge and stopped cutting, I just sat there on the ground crying. That's where you found me. Having you, the one person whose promise I'd broken even though I'd sworn to myself that I wouldn't, see me in such a state was my worst nightmare come to light; my undoing. I panicked. I shouldn't have run, but I was just so scared. I couldn't face you after breaking my promise._

_ I'm so ashamed of myself, Gil. What kind of boyfriend am I, if I cant even keep my simple promise? I betrayed your trust, and knowing that kills me inside. You have only been supportive and amazing to me, making me feel remembered, important, and most of all, truly and completely lovely. I feel so horrible for not even being able to keep my promise to you._

_ I'm so horrible, not even being able to keep a simple promise. I'm so worthless, and you deserve so much better than me. I just drag you down like a weight and hold you back. You could so so much without me. I want you to be free, Gil, and not have to worry about me anymore. I'm not worth it to be alive, so I won't be alive anymore. I'll wait until after the art show to do it. That way, I can finish my painting as my final goodbye and hear your song. I know it will be amazing, whatever it is. I made you a promise to be there, to hear you sing, and I'm not going to break another promise._

_ I guess I've come full circle. Now you know the whole story, without any holes in it. Please try to find it in your heart to forgive me. It won't do you any good to mourn me; you have to move on. I want you to forget me. I'm not worth remembering, especially by someone as awesome as you._

_ Gilbert, you have become so important to me. I was so lost in the darkness surrounding me. Then you came along, and acted as a guiding light, pulling me out of that darkness, saving me, no matter for how short the time. You are mon ange, mon amor, mon tout (my angel, my love, my everything). You truly are mon ange aux yeux rouges tuteur (my red eyed guardian angel)._

_ Please, don't bother remembering me, but, if you ever have a moment, remember that there is someone who cares for you and loves you with all of their heart. I will always love you, and I'll be watching over you from heaven, or well, wherever people go when they commit suicide. I won't ever stop loving you, Bear, and I'll always be keeping you close to my heart, even after it's stopped beating. I love you. Je' taime. Ich liebe dich. Forever I shall always remain your little birdie, your vögelchan. I swear. Goodbye, mon cher, mon amor._

_ Eternally your birdie,_

_Matthew Williams Bonnafory-Kirkland_

_P.S. Please tell my family that I love them and I'm sorry for leaving them with so much work to do with getting rid of all my stuff. _

Gilbert's POV

I stare in horror down at the letter in my now shaking hands. Gott, how could I never have known how much pain mein Birdie was in? I'm so stupid! I should have seen it before! My troubles must be showing clear on my face, for Opa places a hand on my shoulder and says, "Gilbert…what is wrong?"

I look up at him, my red eyes wide in shock and confusion. I try to speak, but when I open my mouth, no words come out. The only thing that comes out is a sort of strangled , sob-like noise. I just hang my head, staring again at the letter gripped tightly in my hands. Once more, I attempt to speak, and this time I am successful.

"Why couldn't I see it? He was in so much pain…yet somehow…I didn't see it. I should have noticed! Gott, how could I have been so stupid and blind!?"

The others look at me confused. Francis is the first to speak.

"Gilbert, what are you saying? What is it that you have there?" he asks, gesturing to the letter in my grip.

"It's his note," I tell him quietly, 'he...he went through so much, and…when his cousin came back, I…I didn't even see his fear. I didn't see the danger he was in. Gott, what have I done?"

I hold my head in my hands, desperately holding back my tears, unable to face their responses. There is a pregnant silence in the air. Once again, Francis is the one to break it.

"Gilbert, it's not your fault. Mattieu's cousin was a 'orrible, 'orrible person. He will manipulate people to get what he wants. When Arthur and I adopted him, we were told what the police assumed was the whole story. Apparently, to keep Mattieu from telling anyone about what he was doing, Carlos told Mattieu that he would push him off the roof. He most likely threatened Mattieu or someone he cared about deeply in order to make him go along with whatever he wanted him to do."

"It was me," I say softly. Francis looks at my confused.

"In his letter…he told me. Carlos…he threatened to hurt me. That's how he got Matthew to do what he wanted," I tell him.

"Oh…," is all that is said.

"That means he loves you," Arthur says, speaking for the first time since he sat down. It's my turn to look confused. Seeing my confusion, he explains.

"Gilbert, Matthew is an extremely caring person. If he thinks someone whom he cares about is in danger of any kind, he will do whatever it takes to keep them from harm, regardless of what happens to himself."

"Still, he should have told someone."

"I know that, but if what you say is true, then Matthew was under the impression that you would be in danger if he told anyone."

I just sigh and say, "Still, we couldn't do anything, and now he could be on his deathbed."

Arthur just hangs his head. No one has anything they can say to that. Silence falls once more, and this time, no one speaks up to break it. We just sit and wait. Wait for news, any news, good or bad, on Matthew. I pray to every god that I can think of to let him live. He has to survive. He can't leave before I tell him how much he means to me. He is mein vögelchan, mein everything. I can't live without him.

Please, Matthew…Birdie…you have to live.

A/N: PLEASE DON"T KILL ME! 8cowers behind Denmark* I'm sorry for leaving you with another cliffhanger. I promise though, you find out next chapter if he survives or not, I swear it. Now please no sending anymore people after me.

Denmark: Yeah I'm not sure if you guys realize this, but if you kill the author, you don't get an ending to the story. Not even the happy one that Wolf-chan has planned out. So no more death threats, she's going through enough crap as it is.

Me: Yeah, I just thought that I should let you guys, know, since you're my faithful reviewers and all. I have recently discovered that I'm bi-sexual. Now, while I know most of you will not care, hell you're reading a yaoi story, I still though I should tell you. If this makes any of you want to stop reading then I understand. Anyway I've just had drama cause I figured out that me and someone else have a crush on the same girl. I really like this girl, like more than I've liked someone in a LONG time, but I have chosen that I will back off and not ask my crush out. The other person likes her and I won't get in between them, no matter how painful it is. And it's quite painful. Also I've had issues with my brother so it's hard to get onto the computer for long enough to type this without distractions form tumblr so give me a break with the slow updates. Also I'll be at my grandparents for the next two weeks and I will NOT by letting them learn of this story or the fact that I'm bi-sexual. I mean just have no idea how they would react. So please give me a bit of a break. And I promise I'll get the next chapter out to you guys ASAP.

As always a word from my fantastic and beautiful Beta Sakura414, who recently tried out for our school musical of west side story so wish her luck with getting a good part! :D

Thank you, Wolf-chan! Sadly, because of said audition (before which, my brain was already fried), combined with the fact that the Snoopy band-aid on my finger is impairing my ability to type, I really have nothing to say. Happy holidays, everyone, and may Finland bring you lots of fabulous presents! :)

Anyways I've got nothing let to say that I can think of so peace out.

Until next time mein lieblings. Wolf-chan out.


	21. Chapter 21: My Fate, Revealed At Last

A/N: hello my leiblings! I'm so so sorry about taking so long to update. I was in Florida visiting my grandparents over Christmas and there was NO way that they were going to learn that I'm writing a story about a gay, depressed teenager. They would think I'm a lunatic and lock me up in the loony bin, and lord knows I wouldn't get to update in the loony bin, so for the sake of this stories survival it had to be kept secret. I was going to update it once I got home but my computer at my dad's house does NOT like to type things properly so I had to wait until school started again so that I can use my computer at my mom's house and the computer's in the library at my school.

Anyway, enough rambling, you all have been so wonderful and patient with me so, without further adieu, I present to you, Chapter 21.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, in any way, shape, or form, but I worship the man who does. Let us all bow to the Hima-papa!

Enjoy!

Chapter XXI

Gilbert's POV

We sit in the waiting room for what feels like forever, each minute stretching out longer that the last. In reality, it is no more than two hours at most, yet to me, waiting there for word of mein liebe, praying for him to live, to any and every god I can think of, it seems like an eternity. I beg whatever higher being is up there to watch over my boyfriend. For a bit, I can swear that I feel my mother's spirit with me, but she stays not long- leaving, I hope, to go to Birdie's side to watch over him. With each passing minute, I find my hope for Birdie growing smaller and smaller, but I don't give up. I can't give up. Birdie needs for me to believe in him.

Finally, a doctor enters the waiting room. She looks around, and when she sees me, she approaches. Both mine and Birdie's families look up as the doctor stops directly in front of me.

"Are you the one who came in with the boy who slit his wrists, Matthew William?" she inquires in a professional, yet gentle, voice. I nod my head as I look up at her from my seat. My heart is beating faster than a rabbit's as I pray that she isn't bringing me the news that will break my heart forever.

She gives me a soft smile and says, "Are you the one who found him?"

Again I nod, and she continues. "You are a brave young man and a good friend. You were very lucky; had he gotten here any later than he did, we wouldn't have been able to save him. However, you got him here just in time. He will be fine- physically, at least. From what we we've been able to gather, he's been self-harming for a long time." My heart soars at the news that Birdie will live, but becomes somber once more as she mentions Birdie's self-harming.

"I know," I reply quietly. "Can I see him? Please?"

"I'm sorry, but hospital policy states that only family and people approved by the family may go in and see him," she tells me.

"Excuse me. We are Matthew Williams' family. This young man is Matthew's boyfriend. He has our permission to see him first," Arthur cuts in. I'm surprised, as is the doctor, and she looks at him in confusion.

Arthur explains. "Gilbert is the only one of us who was able to see Matthew's pain, and he cares more about him that any of us could ever hope to. He deserves to be the first to see him."

Alfred and Francis both nod their heads in agreement. I'm touched that they would let me see Birdie before any of them. I give them a great full smile as the doctor begins to lead me towards Birdie's room. As we grow closer to it, I can feel my stomach tying itself into knots out of anxiety. I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. I mean, what are you supposed to say when the person you love more than anything in the world tries to kill themselves? I guess I'll figure it out when I see him. Right now, I just want to know that he's alright; to see it for myself. It's almost too soon when we stop in front of the door to his room. I stare at it, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that beyond this door lies the most important person in my whole entire world.

The doctor turns to me and tells me, "I'll leave you to be alone with him. He is currently sleeping, but he should wake soon, as he shows no signs at the moment of going into coma."

I nod and say, 'Thank you."

She offers me a sad smile before turning and going off to treat another poor soul in need of her help. I continue to stare at the door for a few moments, gathering my courage to open it.

When I finally enter, the sight I am met with is not a pretty one. It pains my heart to see it and makes me want to cry. Matthew, mein wertvoll vögelchan, is lying in the hospital bed, his skin paler than even mine. His soft, golden curls are spread out on the pillow around his head. They look like a gentle halo. The one odd curl which always sticks out so cutely hangs limply along the side of his face. He looks so frail and tiny in the large hospital bed. He seemed so strong and full of life before, when he was on the stage at the art show introducing his piece, that seeing him in such a weak state just breaks my heart. The only noises in the room are the beep of the heart monitor and the soft sound, so quiet that it's barely there at all, of Birdie's breathing.

I quietly approach the bed and pull up a chair that's resting against the wall so that I may sit by Birdie's side. I tentatively reach out, stopping for a moment. Birdie….he looks so frail and breakable, I'm afraid that if I touch him, he might shatter. I take a deep breath, and, swallowing thickly, gently take his hand in mine. I softly stroke the back of his hand with my thumb. My heart clenches as I feel how cold it is. I lift it, ever so gently, and press my lips against the cool skin as I feel tears escape my eyes and run tracks, once again, down my pale cheeks.

Gott, I should have been able to do something, anything, to prevent this from happening. I should have seen the signs. If only I hadn't stayed behind to talk to our teacher, then he wouldn't have been all alone, waiting for me in the parking lot. If only I'd told him to wait just outside the classroom in the hall. If only I hadn't gone to my locker before going to meet him. If only I'd not ignored that horrible feeling I got in my stomach with how Birdie said goodbye that night. If only I'd insisted that he stay over at my place, over even stayed over at his. So many things that I could have, should have, done differently, yet I didn't do a single one. I didn't notice any of the signs, and now mein Birdie, mein Matthew, mein wertvoll liebe, the one person who means more to me than anyone else in the world, is laying before me with bandages on his wrists and his life hanging in the balance. I feel so horrible and useless. All I can do is sit by his side and pray.

I bow my head, and with my lips still pressed gently against the pale skin of his hand, I begin to speak. I don't know why, but it's all I can do.

"Matthew…Birdie…my precious, precious birdie. Why? Oh, Gott, why couldn't I see how much pain you were in? What kind of boyfriend was I, if I couldn't even see it when my most important person was in so much pain? Please, Birdie…you need to hold on. You can't give up. I need you. I know we only met, what, three weeks ago? Yet, still, I can't possibly imagine a world without you. You say I'm your guardian angel, but you can't even see that it's who are the angel.

After my parents died in the car accident that almost took my life, I stopped trying. I stopped living. I mean, yeah, I was still alive, but I'd forgotten how to smile- _really _smile, and how to be happy. I was just going through the motions of life. I woke up, went to school, got good grades to please Opa, but none of it really seemed to matter. Without my parents, I'd forgotten what it meant to be happy. I couldn't remember what is was to feel joy, and warmth, and love. Sure, Opa and West love me, I know they do, but none of it felt right anymore. I was lost, falling deeper into a hole that I couldn't climb out of.

Then I met you. You've shown me happiness for the first time since I lost my parents. You've done so much to help me and you don't even know it. You showed me what it's like to be happy, and you've reminded me, after so long, what it's like to truly smile again. You're my everything, Matthew, and despite having only known you for a short while, I can't imagine living a life without you by my side. You're the light that brought me out of the darkness, the hand that reached out to help me escape the hole I was falling into. You saved me. That's why you can't leave me. I need you, Matthew. Please," I say. My voice echoes through the near silent room, my pleas for Birdie to wake up, to open his eyes and live met with only the beep of the heart monitor and the soft sound of barely there breathing.

Tears run down my face, and I make no attempt to stop them, for I know that anything I do will have no effect. I continue to hold Matthew's hand to my lips, desperately trying to hold onto my last shred of hope. It's all I have left to hold on to. I just pray that it's not in vain.

I don't know how much time passes as I sit there, but with every passing beep of the heart monitor, I feel my heart dropping lower and lower into my stomach. I've almost given up, when, after four straight hours of nothing but the beep of the machine and almost silent breathing, a small noise comes from the bed. My head shots up, and my eyes, bloodshot from all my crying, widen as I hear another small groan pass through Matthew's lips.

There's a moment of silence before a final groan is heard and Matthew's pale eyelids flutter open to reveal those gorgeous lavender eyes that I love so much.

Mein Vögelchan is awake at last.

Matthew's POV

I find myself floating in a deep, blue emptiness. There's nothing around: no ground, no horizon, nothing. It just seems to go on forever. I find myself wondering if I'm dead and this is what the afterlife is like. As I'm thinking about it, a voice rings out. It's quiet and gentle, but unmistakable as it rings out perfectly clear in the sheer nothingness that surrounds me.

I instantly recognize the voice as Gilbert's, though something's wrong. It sounds as if he's crying. I listen intently to what he's saying, and with each passing word, more tears fill my eyes. Gilbert's begging me not to die, saying that I saved him after his parents died, that I taught him how to be happy and how to smile again. He says that I showed him how to love. He keeps blaming himself, but he didn't see my pain because I didn't want him to see it. Didn't he read the letter I left behind for him? He's begging. Yes, the great and awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt is begging, pleading for me to wake up, saying that he can't possibly live without me.

When the voice starts, a tiny light appears off in the distance. The more Gilbert speaks, the brighter the light gets, until it consumes everything. The nothingness is gone, and I can feel something under me. Some sort of bed. There's a constant beeping that cuts through the silence, and it smells strongly of medicine and disinfectant. There's a sharp pain from my wrists and a soreness that radiates through my whole body. One of my hands feels warm, and after a moment, I realize that it's being held by someone else's hands. I'm not sure how, but somehow I just know that the person next to me is Gilbert. I need to tell him he shouldn't feel guilty. I did it because I couldn't stand breaking my promise to him. He deserves so much better than me. Why doesn't he see that?

I let out a small groan. I want to open my eyes, to speak, to tell Gilbert not to cry, yet try as I might, I can't. My eyelids feel so heavy. I fight against it, though, refusing to just lay here when I need to speak to Gilbert. Another groan passes through my lips as I fight against the heaviness. After a few moments, I feel my efforts starting to pay off as I give a third and final groan. My eyelids flutter for a moment, before finally, they open.

End of chapter XXI

A/N: Me: So what do you guys think! And no yelling at me, this isn't really a cliffhanger, well it kind of is, but way less bad then the others, and now you know that Mattie's ALIVE! I can't believe you guys thought I could ever have the heart to kill him off. No, I have much more planned for Mattie, both good and bad, but mostly good. So yeah, NO MORE SENDING ME SCARY DEATH THREATS! I have Denmark Sweden an army of soul eating bunnies, Gerta a Prussian vampire, and several reviews that are helping protect me. I also have America, Germany, Prussia, and Canada on call. And yes Canada can be scary, when he has a hockey stick in his hands.

Denmark: Yeah no more death threats, Mattie's alive so you have no reason to threaten her anymore, seriously she's getting freaked out enough to sleep in my bed at night, afraid that you guys are gonna attack her in her sleep.

Me: Yeah so anyway, thanks to all of you for being so incredibly patient and I promise I'm gonna get the next chapter out to you some time next week, provided that my schedule allows. Oh and for those of you who sent in Ideas on what to do to Carlos and Ivan, well…I couldn't choose which was the best. So I've decided that once I finish the story, I will be tying them to trees and letting you all do whatever you want with them, So send me the descriptions of how you would torture them in a review or a private message and they'll all be published in a list after I finish this story. I can't wait ot see what you guys come up with. Wow I sound really sadistic don't I Denmark?

Denmark: Um…yeah but hey you've been hanging around me for the past few months and I'm an ex-Viking so it's not really that surprising. So yeah guys leave a discription of and your torture method in a review and they will be published on the list when this story is done.

Me: Yup though don't expect anything too great, I'm probably gonna be super lazy after this story so they might not be the best. ANYWAY, as always here is a word form my gorgeous and fabulous Beta Sakura414:

I hope you all had a lovely holiday season, and that your teachers haven't been too hard on you during these past couple of days back at school! This particular author note seems to be pretty substantial as it is, so I suppose I'll just leave it at that... Thank you all for reading!

Me: Until next time you guys.

Wolf-chan out.


	22. Chapter 22: Truth, Tears, and Comfort

A/N: Sorry I took so long I was typing up another one shot that a reviewer won. Go check it out. The title it, A Resurfacing pain, maybe the title isn't set in stone but I like that one so I might stick with it. Anyway, you guys have been patient so I will get to typing the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, the rights belong to HimaPapa

Enjoy!

Chapter XXII

Gilbert's POV

A massive wave of relief washes over me as I see Matthew's eyes open. I'm so happy to finally see mein liebe's beautiful eyes again, yet my heart clenches at the pain and sadness that I can see deep within them. I reach up slowly, not wanting to spook him. I place my head gently upon his cheek as tears fill the eyes of the one who holds the key to my heart, whether he knows it or not.

"Birdie…," I say softly, my voice barely a whisper. I want to say something, anything, but my mind is blank; there's nothing I can say. I just stare into Matthew's eyes, wiping gently away the tears which spill forth from their lavender beauty.

"Gilbert, I'm so sorry. I'm so horrible; I couldn't keep my promise to you. I'm so terrible," Matthew sobs out. It breaks my heart to see him in such a state, apologizing like this, when he's done nothing wrong. I quiet him with a finger placed lightly upon his lips. There's a moment of silence in the room before I speak.

"Birdie…stop. Just….stop. You have absolutely nothing to be apologizing for. You have done nothing wrong. You just did what you thought you had to do in order to protect me. It's not you who is horrid and terrible, but the ones who forced you to do such a thing. You are amazing and wonderful, and I could never even hope to find someone better and more perfect than you. You are, in my eyes, absolutely perfect, in every way possible," I say, looking into his eyes the whole time to make sure that he understands.

His lavender orbs are full of sadness and uncertainty as he as me, "But Gil, how….how can you love someone like me? Someone….someone who is so broken and tainted by their past."

Tears have once again begun to stream forth from his eyes. The clear liquid is the manifestation of the pain in mein Vӧgelchan's heart. It makes my own break in my chest as I see it. I brush his tears away, my hand moving to cup his cheek.

I look into his eyes and continue softly, "Matthew, I don't care about any of that stuff. No matter what, you will always be perfect to me, and nothing you can say or do will EVER make me think differently of you."

"But how, Gil? I'm so terrible. I broke my promise to you, "He cries, turning to look away.

I move so that I'm sitting on the edge of the hospital bed next to him and hold his face in my hands, forcing him to look into my eyes, as I tell him in a serious, yet gentle, voice,

"Birdie, Matthew, ich liebe dich. I love you. Je' taime. I could say it in every language in the whole world- the entire universe, even- and it still wouldn't be enough to ever hope to fully grasp or explain what I feel for you. A broken promise sure as hell isn't going to make that change. You are so beautiful and perfect and awesome, words can't even describe it. I don't care that you broke the promise. I understand that it was out of your control. You had to do it. It's killing me inside to see you beating yourself up over this. Please, Matthew…Birdie…liebe….stop this."

Matthew stays perfectly still, not making a sound as I speak. When I finish, a pregnant silence falls over us as I wait for him to respond. More tears well up in his eyes, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder if he's ever going to run out of tears to shed. Shakily, he wraps his bandaged arms around my waist and buries his face into my chest. He breaks down into sobs, his hands fisting into my vest on my back as he clings to me. I wrap my arms around his small frame as he shakes violently from his sobs. I stroke his hair and back, whispering soft, sweet words of reassurance and love to him in a mix of German, French, and English.

In between sobs, he manages to choke out, "Oh Dieu, Gil, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. How could I have ever been so dumb? I was just so ashamed that I'd broken my promise to you. I thought that you would hate me and be disgusted with me. I was so foolish, and I almost died because I was too stupid and blind to see what was right in front of my nose. Please, can you ever forgive me?"

I pull him back so that I can look into his eyes. They're red and puffy from all his crying, but they are still the most breath-taking and beautiful eyes in the whole world. I place a soft kiss on Birdie's forehead and look back into his eyes as I whisper quietly, "I was never angry to begin with, mein liebe."

Matthew's POV

A rush of relief goes through my body at Gilbert's words. I smile up at him; I'm crying still, but this time, my tears are not ones of sorrow, but of joy. I press my face into Gilbert's chest as I allow myself to be enveloped in his warmth as he returns my hug. Breathing deeply, I take in the scent of violin polish, wurst, and a muskiness that can't be named but is unique and belongs solely to Gilbert. I smile as I allow myself to just indulge in the loving and comforting embrace of my boyfriend and first love, which I've been denying myself for the past week. It feels so wonderful to be held by him again. I finally feel safe once more.

He's stroking my hair and back; I love it when he does this. It makes me feel so loved, especially when he's whispering such sweet things to me. I can't understand most of what he's saying in German, but I still love it when he speaks in his native tongue. Usually German sounds so gruff and harsh, but when Bear is the one speaking it in his deep voice, it just sounds so wonderful.

I realize, after a moment, that I used my pet name for Gilbert: Bear. I pleasantly recall the night I came up with the nickname. We'd been at my house watching the Tigger Movie, and he'd cried a bit. He did, no matter how much he denies it. I thought it was so sweet, and had jokingly said that he seemed all tough on the outside, but he's really just a big, cuddly teddy bear on the inside. He laughed and replied, 'only for you Birdie."

After that, the name just seemed to fit and it stuck. I smile a bit in my mind at the happy memory.

Gilbert's POV

It takes a while before Birdie calms down and stops crying. Even after he does, I continue to hold him, pulling him to sit on my lap, being careful of the wires that keep him hooked up to the I.V. and the heart monitor. We stay like this for a while, perfectly content.

After a bit, I say quietly, "Birdie?"

"Yes, Bear?" He replies, looking up at me with those wide, curious eyes of his, looking so utterly adorable in the way that only he can. My heart flutters a bit when he uses his nickname for me.

I press my face into his soft hair, whispering, and "Promise please, that you won't try to end your life again? Please, I was so scared; you have absolutely no idea. It was so utterly terrifying, I was so afraid that I was going to lose you forever. That thought scares me more than anything else in the whole world. I beg of you, please don't ever worry me like that ever again."

Birdie's arms tighten around me, and he answers me in a voice so soft that most people would probably have missed it, but I hear every word. "I won't, Gil. I swear, I won't try to end my life again, just so long as you promise me something in return."

"Anything," I tell him, wondering what he could want.

"Promise that you will always be by my side."

Smiling down at him, I give him a gentle squeeze and lean down to whisper in his ear, "I swear the space besides you shall never be vacant, for I will always be there to occupy it. Your world will never be quiet, since I shall do my very best to fill every moment with words of caring and love and laughter. Your face shall never again know the strain of a frown, as I am going to do everything possible to keep your smile, so sweet and pure, upon it. You will never be cold again, for I will always be at your side to warm you with my embrace. As I told you before, never will words exist which can properly express my feelings for you. You are mine, Matthew, and I promise, I swear, to love you now and forever."

In my arms, Birdie's body is shaking. I look down at him, worried that I said the wrong words and upset him. Pulling back a little, so that his face can be seen, it shows itself to be wet once again with his tears. My heart and mind race as I try to figure out what could possibly be causing him to cry this time. Surely it couldn't be what I said, could it?

"Matthew, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" I ask frantically.

He quickly shakes his head, wiping away his tears as he says, "Non, you didn't say anything wrong, Bear. It was perfect."

"Then why are you crying?" I inquire, growing confused now.

He smiles and replies, "Because those are the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful words that anyone has ever spoken to me in my whole life."

I return his smile with one of my own, and press my forehead against his, telling him,

"Well it's all true. I would never lie to you, birdie."

"I know, Bear. It just makes me so happy," he says, his smile widening a bit upon his face as the happy tears roll down his cheeks. Pressing a loving kiss to his lips, I wonder how it's possible for there to be someone in this world who is so utterly perfect. He deserves a better life than the one he's had thus far. I make a silent promise to myself in that moment. Never again will I let Matthew experience such pain and loneliness as he has had to suffer up until now. I will always make sure that he's happy and smiling, even if I eventually have to let him be with someone else to let that happen.

My mind, for a moment, drifts back to think of our families in the waiting room. Birdie's family is probably beside themselves by now, wanting to know how he is. I should go tell them that he's awake now. When I move away from Mattie, he looks at me confused.

"Is something wrong, Bear?" His eyebrows knit together in a way that makes him look so cute.

I chuckle and kiss his nose, "Nothing's wrong, liebe; just thinking that I should go tell your family that you're awake. They're in the waiting room along with my family. They let me come in to see you first, even though, according to the hospital rules, only family is supposed to be able to see patients. They convinced the nurse to let me see you before they did. They're probably really anxious to know how you're doing."

Mattie tenses a little at the mention of his family. He looks down at his hands as they lay in his lap, becoming quiet. I place one of my hands over his and use the other one to lift his head so that I can see his face.

"You're worried about how they'll react…aren't you?" An affirmative nod is my only answer.

"What am I supposed to say to them, Bear?" He asks me, fear and nervousness obvious in his voice.

"Shhh. You don't have to tell them anything, Birdie; I already did. I'm sorry, but I had to. They deserved to know. They were so distraught; they were blaming themselves for what happened, and I knew that you wouldn't want that. I told them what you said in the letter, about how it isn't their fault. Please don't be mad at me for telling them," I tell him, stroking his hair, hoping to help calm him down a bit, praying that he won't be upset at me for revealing his secret.

He looks at me shocked, "S-so…th-they know?"

I nod my head solemnly and he says, "I…I guess it's alright. As you said, they deserved to know the truth. I'm just a little scared of what they're going to do when they see me."

"Matthew," I say to get his attention, "They love you a lot. I promise that you'll be okay. They're not mad at you one bit," I assure him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear and using my thumb to stroke his soft, slightly tear-stained cheek.

"If you don't want to talk to them yet, you don't have to. We can wait until you're ready; I know that your family will understand."

He shakes his head no, "Non, I…I want to see them. C-can you go get them for me?"

Smiling at him, I nod my head and whisper quietly, "Birdie, I just want you to know that you are the bravest and the strongest person I have ever known. I love you so much. I'm going to go get your family now, okay? I'll be right back, and you just sit tight."

He smiles and nods as I leave to get his family. Closing the door to the room, I see Matthew's doctor walking down the hallway towards me. I wait for her to come closer, as it looks like she wants to speak with me.

"I need to do a few tests on Matthew and ask him some questions if he's awake now," She tells me in a level and professional voice.

"I was actually just about to go get his family. Would it be okay if they can talk to him first?" I ask, not wanting Birdie to go through the tests and questioning alone and then have to go through seeing his family for the first time since he woke up.

The doctor nods. "Actually, I was hoping that you and his family could be there for the questions."

"Um, sure but, why me?" I ask, confused. It makes sense to want Matt's family to be there, but I don't see why she wants me there as well.

"Well it seems that you are the closest one to Matthew, and you might be able to help answer some questions that he may not be comfortable with answering himself," she explains to me.

I nod my head in understanding and the doctor continues. "Good. I'm also going to check Matthew's vitals and such, but if you think he would be more comfortable, I will wait to start the tests until you come back with his family."

"If you could wait, that'd be great."

"It's no trouble, so long as you hurry."

"Nodding yes, I hurry towards the waiting room. Matthew and my families are sitting where I left them. When I'm close enough for them to hear, I clear my throat to make my presence known.

They look up and Francis asks, "How is he?" Arthur and Alfred's eyes mirror the concern in Francis'.

"He's woken up and is feeling better. He wants to talk to you. Also, the doctor wants you and, surprisingly, me to be there when she runs a few tests on Birdie and asks him some questions," I tell them. You can see all three of them visibly relax and breathe a sigh of relief before they stand to follow me back to Birdie's room.

Before we go, I turn to my own family and say, "You guys can go home if you want. You don't have to stay here."

Opa nods in understanding and replies, "Call us if you need anything."

"I will."

Roddy and Liz nod in agreement, Roddy saying, "You can call us as well if you need anything."

I smile and tell them. "I will, and thank you all so much."

Liz returns my smile and says, "Gilbert, you are important to us, and it is easy to see that Matthew is very important to you. If he's important to you, then he's important to us."

She gives me a hug before she and Roddy leave, Opa and Ludwig following, and Feli going with them. I turn back to Matthew's family and start to lead them to Birdie's room.

End of chapter XXII

A/N: so what did you guys think? Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out to you soon. This one took a while I guess and hopefully I'll be able to get you the next one by next Thursday. Until then, please keep leaving your reviews. They make me so happy. They have kept me from just giving up on this. SO yeah, I'm not sure what else to say so here is a word from my lovely beta Sakura414:

I honestly have nothing to say right now... Thank you all for reading and supporting the lovely Wolf-chan!

And as always, I love you guys to death for supporting me through this and liking this. I've been going through a tough time where love is concerned so your support and love really helps me. Thank you all so much and I can't wait until next time.

Until next time.

Wolf-chan out


	23. Chapter 23: Stories Told

A/N: yeah so here's the next chapter you guys. Sorry but it's not really that interesting, more of a filler but I hope that you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer.: I do not own Hetalia. That glorious duty belonGs to the Himapapa

Well enjoy, Chapter XXIII (23)

Chapter XXIII

Gilbert's POV

When we get to the door to Birdie's hospital room, I stop. Turning to face Francis, Arthur, and Alfred, I say, "Just so you're a little prepared, Matthew doesn't exactly look his best."

"Its okay, Gilbert. We will be fine. No matter what state Matthew is in, he is a part of our family and we love him unconditionally," Arthur replies.

I smile and nod, opening the door to let them in. Birdie is on the bed, watching the doctors as they set up to do some tests. He looks up at the sound of the door opening, smiling when he sees me. His smile turns shy, though, and he looks down at his hands in his lap when his family enters the room behind me. I go to Matthew's side, wrap one of my arms around him, and kiss the side of his head.

"Its okay, Birdie. They're not mad at you at all," I assure him.

His family comes forward and stands at his other side. Francis reaches out and tucks a bit of Matthew's hair behind his ear.

He softly asks, "How are you feeling, mon petite Mattieu?"

"Better," Birdie replies in a small voice.

"What Gilbert said is true, Matthew; we're not angry with you. Not at all," Arthur tells him, taking one of Birdie's hands gently in his own.

"Yeah, bro, we're not mad, just surprised. How come you never told us about your bullying problem? I could have helped to get rid of it for you. Even if it's Ivan, I don't care; no one ever bullies my baby bro," Alfred pipes in. Strange as it seems, Alfred and Ivan are an unlikely pair of friends. If one were to just meet them, they would assume that they wanted to murder each other. Matthew told me that that was the case when the two had first met, but the hate ended up growing into some weird form of friendship between the two. He also told me that he thinks his brother has a crush on the Russian, even if Alfred hasn't realized it himself yet.

"I…I-I didn't want you to worry about me, and I didn't want to ruin your friendship with Ivan," Birdie tells them, hanging his head in shame. I rub his back in a comforting manner.

Arthur lifts Matthew's chin and says, in a stern, yet gentle voice, "Matthew Williams Bonnefoy-Kirkland, we are your family. It's our job to worry about you. We love you very much, and all we want is for you to be happy. I know that it feels like you're alone, but I assure you, you're not."

Mathew looks at him, a bit confused, asking, "How did you know that I felt that way? I didn't even put that in my letter to Bear."

With a sad smile, Arthur says, "Have I ever told you how I met your papa?"

Matthew shakes his head no.

"Well, let's just say this is a large sense of déjà vu for me, though I guess now I'm seeing it from the other side of the conversation," Arthur tells him, rolling up his sleeves to reveal old, faded scars running up his forearms. Matthew and Alfred both gasp, looking at their parents in shock.

"W-why?" Matthew stutters.

"I felt alone. I was bullied, like you. It made me feel alive. I tried to end my life, believing that no one would care. I was lucky that someone noticed I wasn't myself that day, and cared enough to stop me. They saved me, and showed me that I was truly loved," Arthur explains.

"Who was it? You know, the person who saved you," Alfred asks, his eyes wide and curious.

Arthur smiles and just looks at Francis, "It wasn't till he saved me from myself that I was able to see that he wasn't just making it up when he said he loved me."

Matthew looks at Francis with wide eyes. "It was you?"

Francis smiles and nods his head, replying, "Oui. I was more scared than I'd been in my entire life when I found mon petite lapin bleeding out on his bathroom floor. No doubt Gilbert knows how I felt. He was, after all, the one who found you on the roof."

"I nod my head, saying quietly, "I've never felt such terror in my life. Not even when I almost died in that car crash all those years ago."

Birdie turns to look at me, full of tears.

"Oh Bear, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just wanted the pain to stop," he sobs and clings to my shirt. Smiling softly I stroke his hair gently.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay, Birdie. I'm not mad, nor am I upset; none of us are, and now we can help you. We can make the pain stop. Ivan and Carlos will never harm you again," I comfort him as I hold him gently in my arms. "We're all here for you, liebe. It's our turn to protect you now, where before, we were unable to."

Matthew looks up at me, then to his family, who smile lovingly back at him. He's shaking, and tears stream down his face. This time, though, I don't think that they're tears of sadness, but of joy.

"Thank you…so much. How…how could I have been so blind as to not see that I have people who love me?"

"Its okay, Birdie. You see it now, and that's all that matters," I tell him, my eyes full of love as I look into his beautiful lavender orbs.

"Oh, bear," he whispers. "I've been so stupid. Please forgive me."

"I already told you, Birdie. I was never even angry to begin with," I say, gently pressing my lips against his. After a bit, the doctor clears her throat. Matthew and I pull apart, blushing furiously. She chuckles and says, "As touching as this moment is, I would like to run a few tests that will let us know if there is any permanent damage."

"Can Gilbert stay with me for the tests?" Matthew asks, clearly nervous as he holds tightly to my hand.

"Of course; your family may stay as well. I actually wanted them to be here, because once I'm done with the tests, I have a few questions I need to ask you to help determine what sort of help you'll be needing from here on out to ensure that this won't happen again. It would be very helpful if they could be here for that."

"We'll definitely stay," Francis tells her.

"Excellent. Now, I'm going to draw some blood so that we can check for blood poisoning or any kind of virus that he may have contracted that has the potential to hurt him while his immune system is so weak," she explains. Birdie looks a bit scared at the idea.

"You okay, Birdie?" I ask him.

"I don't like needles," he admits, blushing. I chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist.

"It'll be okay, liebe. I'm right here with you and so is your family. You'll be perfectly fine," I assure him. He smiles up at me and leans against my chest a bit.

"Merci, Bear." It makes me so happy to hear him using his nickname for me again.

"No problem, Birdie," I reply, kissing the top of his head. I hold him close and hold his free hand, stroking his knuckles with my thumb as the doctor cleans the area of skin on the inside of his elbow. As she gently slides the needle into Matthew's arm, I can feel him tense against me and hear him give a slight whimper. I kiss him temple and whisper low enough so that only he can hear me, "Shh. It's okay, Birdie. I'm right here next to you. You're doing great; you're being strong."

The doctor takes three vials of blood and gently removes the needle, pulling another whimper from Matthew's lips. She places a guaze pad over the spot where a tiny drop of blood is welling up and secures it with some medical tape, announcing, "All done. Your arm might be sore for a bit, but it shouldn't last for more than a day or two."

Matthew breathes a sigh of relief and visibly relaxes when she announce that she's finished. I give him a hug and place a kiss on his cheek.

"You did awesome Birdie," I tell him.

He smiles up at my and replies, "Merci, Bear. Having you here helped a lot."

My heart warms at hearing that, and I say quietly, "I'm glad I can help."

The doctor quickly goes through looking at all of Matthew's vitals; listening to his heartbeat, checking that his IVs are working properly, etc. When she's done with that, she says, "Okay, I would now like to ask Matthew a couple of questions. This is to help us see how severe Matthew's depression is and it helps up to decide if he needs to be placed in a specialized facility to help him get better. That is only if it is necessary, however. Now, I already said this, but I think it would be best if you, his family and perhaps Mr. Beilschmidt, should be here, since it may help to have you answer questions that Matthew may not be able to answer himself. If Matthew wishes, however, I can ask him the questions while the rest of you wait in the hall. Whatever would make Matthew more comfortable."

Arthur places a hand on Birdie's shoulder and asks, 'Would you like us to go in the hall, Matthew?"

Matthew shakes his head, replying, "I would like it if you guys and Gil could be here."

"If you're sure that is what you want, Mattieu," Francis tells him.

"I'm sure. I want you all to be here," Birdie assures them, his grip on my hand tightening a bit.

I gently squeeze back. "We'll be right beside you," I promise. Matthew sends me a greatful smile and then turns to face the doctor again.

"Ask away."

She smiles and begins. "When was the first time you self-harmed?"

"I was twelve years old, if my memory serves me correctly," Birdie answers.

"What pushed you to begin self-harming?"

"Well, I'm often overlooked and I tend to fade into the background. I also have a tendency to fall into my brother's shadow, and often times people mistake me for him. Occasionally, Alfred will play a prank on one of our classmates, but they will mistake me for him and take their anger out on me."

"Is that true, Mattie?" Alfred asks, horrified at the thought that the reason his brother is getting beat up so often is him.

"It's not your fault, Al. We just look so much alike that people get us mixed up easily," Matthew tells him, not wanting his brother to feel guilty.

"Yeah, it's not your fault. It's theirs for being too stupid to realize that they have the wrong person," I say.

"God, I'm so, so sorry, Mattie. I swear I'll never play another prank again. That way, people won't have any reason to hurt me, and you won't get hurt when they mistake you for me," Alfred promises.

"It wasn't just them. Ivan bullies me, too, and I don't think he ever mistakes us."

"Who is Ivan?" the doctor inquires.

"He's a Russian boy in our grade," I explain. The doctor nods and jots something down on her clipboard.

"So you began self-injuring because you felt no one noticed you and you were being bullied?" The doctor says, probably wanting to make sure she has her facts straight.

"Yes, it was just too much for me one day. I felt like I was completely invisible. I accidentally cut myself with some scissors while I was working on a school project, but it made me feel like I was there. But I guess I don't feel like that anymore. I have Gilbert now, and he always sees me. I no longer feel like I'm invisible," Matthew explains.

"Well, if you and your family want, I can admit you to the rehab center once you are discharged from here. You would get a chance to work on healing in a controlled environment. It may be the best chance for you, being away from your family and other outside influences to heal," the doctor informs.

Birdie answers immediately, "Non, I don't want to be forced apart from Gilbert and my family. I want to return home and go back to school as soon as possible."

"I'm not sure if it would be good for you to return to the environment that pushed you to self-harm before you've had a sufficient chance to heal properly," the doctor objects gently. I chuckle inwardly. It may not seem like it, but when he wants to, Birdie has one hell of a stubborn streak. I learned that the hard way when birdie and I got into a heated debate once over which empire in history was the strongest (The Prussian Empire obviously!). Though, I have to admit, the doctor might be right in this case.

I squeeze Birdie's hand hard enough to gain his attention, though not enough to hurt him. He looks up at me and I gently say, "It might actually be a good idea for you to go to the rehab center. You won't be bothered by Ivan or Carlos, you'll be able to heal, and you won't have me or your family to worry about."

Birdie's eyes get wide and he cries, "No! Gilbert, why can't you see that I don't want to go? I want to be with you. Some doctors and shrinks can't help me more than being with you does. You make me so happy, Bear. I don't want to be apart from you."

By the time he's done, Tears are welling up in his eyes again. I pull my hand out of his grip and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close to my chest. "It's okay, Birdie. You don't have to go if you don't want to. I won't let anyone send you away if you want to stay," I tell him in a gentle voice, hoping to calm him. It always breaks my heart to see him cry.

He looks up at me, wiping his eyes and asking in a voice just barely laced with fear, "Promise? You won't send me away?"

Smiling softly down at him, I say, "I promise. You don't have to go anywhere that you don't want to go."

I place a loving kiss on Birdie's forehead and he relaxes against my chest, his head resting against my shoulder. I look up at the doctor and say, "I guess that settles it. Birdie isn't going anywhere but home- once he's discharged, of course."

"But sirs, it would be very beneficial to Matthew if he were to go to this center," the doctor tries to convince Arthur and Francis. Francis holds up a hand to stop her.

"Madmousielle, if my son does not wish to go to this "rehab center", then we will not make him go. It seems to me that it would only do more harm than good if we were to separate him from us and Gilbert. He shall not be going, and that is final. Perhaps there are other ways that we can help Matthew that do not require him being separated from us."

The doctor just nods and jots something down on her clipboard. When she's done, she speaks once again.

"In that case, I suggest going to a therapist. I can recommend some good ones who specialize in this sort of situation and would allow someone else to be in the room with Matthew during a session. Just from our brief conversation and the one I had with Matthew before you came in, I can see that Matthew seems to be much more comfortable when he is with Gilbert. Having him sit in on a few sessions might be beneficial."

"That does sound like a good idea, provided that Gilbert's family allows it and both boys are comfortable with the idea. What do you think, Matthew? Would you be willing to go to therapy?" Arthur asks, turning to Birdie for his opinion.

"I'd like that much better than going to the rehab center. What about you, Bear?"

"Anything if it means I can help you," I say, smiling and running my fingers through Birdie's hair, careful to avoid his curl. I discovered what that little bit of hair does a few weeks ago when I was helping Birdie, his glasses having gotten tangled in it. It was a shock to me, I'll tell you that.

"Well then, it's settled," Alfred announces. "Mattie will stay with us, go to therapy with Gilbert, and not have to go to the rehab hell." We all nod in agreement and chuckle a bit at Alfred's choice of words.

"Alright, then, I'll make up a list of therapists that I recommend for Matthew. We'll be keeping him here under observation for another day to make sure that he's fully stable," she informs us.

"Would it be alright if I were to stay here with Matthew?" I ask.

"Well, normally we would only allow that for family, and only in special cases, but I think I can make an exception this once," she replies, smiling at us. "Speaking of which, I believe that visiting hours will be ending soon. So if you aren't going to stay then I must kindly ask you to leave," this she directs towards Birdie's family.

"Will you be okay if we leave? You'll be alright without us?" Francis asks Matthew.

"I think I'll be fine with Bear here," Birdie replies smiling, squeezing my hand slightly.

"Of course you will," he says, returning the smile as he kisses Birdie's forehead.

"You'll be alright, Matthew, You're a strong lad," Arthur tells him, also kissing Birdie's forehead and giving him a one-armed hug.

Alfred is the last to say goodbye to Matthew. He gives Birdie a hug and says, "Don't worry, Mattie, You'll be out of here before you know it."

He flashes us a smile as they leave, the doctor following them out the door. Once again, Birdie and I are alone. He sighs and relaxes back against his pillow, looking exhausted.

Brushing a few stray hairs out of his face, I ask, "How you feeling, Liebe?"

He smiles at me and replies, "Tired, but happy. I'm glad that they weren't upset or mad at me."

I chuckle, "I still think you're crazy for ever believing that they would feel like that. They just want you to be happy and healthy."

"I know, but I couldn't help but be at least a little afraid, even though I know it's silly."

"Well, you don't have to worry about stuff like that anymore. We're all here to support you, no matter what," I reassure him in a quiet voice.

"It helps to have you here to remind me of that. Thank you, Bear."

"No problem, liebe," I say, kissing him softly.

We talk for a while, not about anything specific, just talking, the way we did before this whole incident with Carlos and Ivan. It feels really great to be able to do this again; I've missed it more than words can say. Birdie tells me that he really loved my song. I'm happy about that and tell him that I wrote every word of it for him. Time seems to pass by like nothing, just like it used to. Before we know it, a nurse comes in.

"It's time for Mr. Williams to go to sleep. If you would like, I have been given permission to give him a sleeping pill. It may help him to get a more restful night's sleep," she says.

"Well, do you want to take the pill, Birdie?" I ask him.

"No, I think I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he assures me.

"Alright, I'll just check Mr. Williams; IVs and such and be off. Before I go, would you like a blanket or something?" The nurse asks me.

"No, we'll call if we need anything."

She nods her head and quickly leaves after checking Birdie's vitals. I rest my head back and clock my eyes. The nurse had turned off the light when she left, so the room is bathed in moonlight from the window. It's calm. There's silence for a while as Birdie and I do our best to drift off into the wonderful state known as sleep.

The silence is broken when Birdie whispers, "Hey, Bear, are you awake?"

"Yeah. What's wrong, Birdie? Can't sleep? Do you want me to call that nurse so you can get the sleeping pill?" I ask.

"No, please don't. C…could you maybe…," he's quiet for a bit as if debating whether or not to continue.

"What is it, Birdie? You can ask me anything," I say, gently pushing for him to continue. In the moonlight coming in through the window, I can see a deep blush on Mattie's cheeks.

"Could you...s…sing for me? Like, a lullaby?" he finishes, burying his face in his hands, embarrassed. I smile and chuckle lightly, kissing the top of his head.

"Of course I can, Birdie. It's no problem."

I sit back and try to think of something that I can sing for him. After a bit, I recall and old lullaby that mein mutti used to sing to me when I was small. I smile at the memory of it. It's the perfect song.

"Okay, I think I can remember one mein Mutti would sing to me und Ludwig when we were kids," I tell him before beginning to sing it softly.

When I finish, Birdie is smiling contently. His eyelids look just about to close when he speaks quietly.

"You have such a wonderful voice, Bear. I love it when you sing for me."

I smile and whisper, "Danke, Birdie. Now sleep. You deserve some rest after all that you've been through today."

He just nods and closes his eyes, quickly slipping away into dreamland. I kiss his forehead and find myself drifting off as well, with my head resting on the edge of the hospital bed, content knowing that mein wertvoll liebe is safe.

End of Chapter XXIII

A/N: Okay so I'm sorry for the long wait you guys. I really don't have any excuse except laziness, trying to get a portfolio together for an art collage pre- collage summer program in italy, and just shit getting in the way. I hope you liked it anyway. Tell me what you think.

As always here's a word from my beautiful Beta Sakura414:

I'm sorry if the little part with the needle still has any mistakes in it… I'm afraid of needles, so I kind of skimmed through that part as quickly as possible. XD Other than that, I think it should be good! Other than the fact that that ending was so sweet I got a cavity… Wolf-chan, you're paying to have it filled!

Fine I'll talk to you about that at school. Now I'm time for me to go to school since I'm posting this beforehand.

Until next time.

Wolf-Chan out.


	24. Chapter 24: The Perfect Date

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day. In honor of this holiday, I am dressed in all black including black lipstick and bopping my friend on the head with a fake rose. So yeah, hope you like the chapter, even though it's late.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, all rights belong to the glorious HimaPapa.

Enjoy.

Chapter XXIV 

Gilbert's POV

Birdie is released from the hospital a few days later. I'm with his family in the lobby as we wait for him to come out. After a bit, he's brought to us in a wheel chair, wearing the clothes that his family brought for him and being pushed by a nurse. His face lights up when he sees us, even though I've only been apart from him for a few hours. I've barely left his side since he got here, leaving for only short periods of time to go home, shower, and change.

The nurse pushes him to us and turns to Arthur and Francis, making sure that they have the prescriptions for his anti-depressant and anti-biotic that the doctor prescribed. Birdie smiles at me and Alfred. I return the smile and ask, 'How you feeling, liebe?"

"Great, Bear. I'm glad to finally be going home. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again. The beds here are really hard," he jokes.

Laughing, Alfred says, "Don't you worry, Bro. You'll be back home and able to sleep in your own bed with that bear of yours in no time. Well, after your date, of course."

"Alfred!" I growl, pissed off. Birdie wasn't supposed to know about that! I wanted it to be a surprise.

Alfred blushes and cringes. "Sorry."

"What date?" Birdie asks, looking up at us curiously. I sigh and decide that since he already knows, I might as well tell him the rest.

"I got permission from your parents to take you on a date. You know, since we haven't gotten to go on one in a while," I explain, rubbing the back of my neck and blushing. The bright scarlet contrasts spectacularly with my pale skin, making it even more prominent. I quickly add, "But only if you're feeling up to it. If you want to go home and rest, please don't feel like you have to come if you're not up to it."

Matthew smiles and says, "Bear, I've been in a hospital bed for almost a week. I would like nothing more than to go on a date with you."

Chuckling, I reply, "Awesome, I'm glad. All we need now is for your parents to sign you out."

"Already done," Arthur cuts in as he approaches, he and Francis having finished speaking with the nurse.

"Oui, you and Mattieu may go off on your date,"Francis pipes in.

"Perfect. Now, are you okay to walk?" I ask, turning back to Matthew.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he tells me. "The nurse said something about standard procedure when I asked her about it."

"I see. Well, it's go then. I have something special planned," I inform him.

"Alright, just lead the way," Matthew replies as he stands shakily from the wheelchair. I take his hand and intertwine our fingers, letting him use me to find his balance. It's understandable for him to be a bit unsteady with walking since he's been lying in a bed for a week and hasn't gotten the chance to walk or use his legs at all. He gives me a great full smile. We head out of the building, and I help him into my car.

We give a quick wave of goodbye to his family before I pull out of the hospital parking lot and start heading towards the place I'm taking Birdie for our date.

Matthew's POV

I look out the window, watching the outside world move past as I wonder where Bear could be taking me for this date that he has planned. Maybe that's where he was yesterday. When we were told that I would be released today, he's asked me if I'd be okay for a few hours without him. He'd called Alfred, who had come to the hospital to keep me company while Bear was out doing whatever it was that he was doing. I hope it's nothing too fancy. Gilbert doesn't have to do anything special for me; I already owe him so much for saving my life.

Looking over at him in the driver's seat, I smile. I'm so lucky to have someone as perfect as Gilbert. He's loud, a bit obnoxious, and hyper, but he's also kind and sweet and so very gentle. I love the way he smiles mischievously whenever he's scheming up some crazy new prank. I love the kinder, softer smile that he shows only me. I love how he can always make me laugh, no matter what we're doing, how he just always seems to know just what I need when I'm upset and the right way to comfort me and make me feel like everything is going to be okay. His arms always make me feel so safe and content when they're wrapped around me, holding me against his chest, like none of the troubles or the pains of the world can tough me. He doesn't need to do a single thing for me. He does so much just by loving me, by simply existing and living.

As I look at Gil, I notice that he's in a nice pair of black skinny jeans, a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up a bit and the top few buttons undone to show the black tank top beneath it, and his iron cross necklace. Even in something so simple, he looks so handsome. Looking down at myself, I observe the clothes that my family had brought for me to wear, so that I wouldn't have to leave in nothing but that horrible hospital robe.

They'd brought my favorite red skinny jeans and the shirt that I'd gotten from Hot Topic that day with Bear all those weeks ago. They also brought me the jacket that Bear lent me on our first date. I love wearing it, because it smells like wurst, instrument polish, and that smell that's unique to Gilbert alone. I smile and nuzzle down into the jacket, breathing deeply to take in the faint smell of Bear that lingers there.

I hear a light chuckle and look over to see Gil smiling at me. He pats my hair, ruffling it a little bit.

"You are so adorable, Birdie," He says. I feel my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment and cover my face with the too long sleeves of the jacket. He chuckles again and turns back to focus on the road. "We're almost there, just so you know," he informs me. I look out the car's window and I'm surprised to see us going down a rarely used road that goes into the woods at the edge of town.

"Where are we going, Bear?" I inquire, growing curious about our destination.

"If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? Don't worry, you won't have to wait for much longer. We're nearly here," he tells me.

"Okay," I say, growing quiet as I look out the window and try to think of where we could possibly be going. I haven't been this deep in the woods for a long time. When I was younger, I would explore the woods a lot whenever I felt lonely. There was a particular place I would go too often. I considered it my secret base. It was a clearing with a large tree in the middle of it; a very old tree, thicker than any I've ever seen before or since. There was a crack in the side that I could fit through, and the inside was hollow; the perfect hiding place, with lots of notches along the sides for candles. There was even a smaller hollow in one of the sides where I'd keep some of my favorite books and trinkets. There was a small hole in the top that I could climb up to using the notches in the wood. The branches of the tree had grown in such a way that a small, smooth, bowl-like shape was formed with the branches becoming sort of like walls, but leaving the sky completely open. It was the perfect size to fit two people if they stayed really close, but I'd never actually tried it. I made sure not to tell anyone about this place. It was my secret hide away, and I wanted to make sure that when I did tell someone, that it would be someone special to me.

I smile at the memory, wondering if we're anywhere near where the tree is and if it's even still around. The stuff I left there, a notebook, a sketchpad, a few pencils, erasers, and a sharpener as well as a picture of me and my parents, is probably long gone by now, scavenged by birds and other small animals for nests and stuff, but it's nice to imagine that they could still be there waiting for me to return.

I'm so lost in thought that I don't notice the car stopping or the engine turning off. Gil puts a hand on my shoulder, snapping my out of my reverie. I shake my head a bit and look at him.

"We're here, come on," Bear tells me, getting out of the car and walking around to open my door with a dramatic bow. "Allow me to assist you to our final destination."

I giggle and take the hand that he offers. Stepping out of the car, I look around.

Something about this place seems familiar, but I can't really put my finger on it. Gilbert locks the car and leads me into the woods. I'm unable to shake the feeling in my gut that I've been here before. There are signs that show what might have been a small trail once, but it's been long overgrown with thorns and branches. Despite this, Gil leads me through with confidence and ease.

After about fifteen minutes of walking in silence, Gil stops. He turns to me and orders, "Close your eyes, okay? Just trust me. I won't let you trip and fall on anything."

look at him with a skeptical look but trust him as I close my eyes. Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted into a thin, yet strong pair of arms. I let out a squeak of surprise.

Bear!?"

Hey, I told you I wouldn't let you fall. and this is the best way to keep my promise with how overgrown the path is," he explains. "Now, remembers, don't you open your eyes yet."

O-Okay," I reply, keeping my eyes shut as he'd instructed me to.

I can hear only the sound of Gil moving through the woods before he stops. He sets me down on my feet, puts his arms around my waist, and pulls me against his warm chest. Leaning down to place his chin on my shoulder, He whispers, "Open your eyes."

I do as he says and a gasp escapes my lips as I see where we are.

What do you think, Birdie? Is it familiar at all?"

Before me is the clearing from my childhood. The tree that I spent countless hours in is just how I remember. There are some vines growing on it, and the clearing is smaller due to the overgrowth of the forest, but my tree is still just as I remember it.

Bear…H-how did you find this place?" I ask him, shocked.

Well, we moved here about two weeks before Ludwig and I started going to school. I was exploring on my own when I stumbled upon this place. I found a picture of a family with two little kids and their parents inside of the tree. When I first met you, I thought that it might have been you. I wasn't sure, though. In fact, I wasn't sure until just before the incident. I was going to bring you here as a surprise, since it looked like you hadn't been here in years, but then the whole thing with Carlos and Ivan happened and I just never got the chance to. I thought it would be the perfect place to come for our first date after all of that," He explains to me. I'm silent as I stare at the clearing in awe. I guess my silence sends the wrong message to Gil, because his grip on me tightens a bit.

So…do you like it?" he asks, a hint of nervousness in his voice. I look up at him beaming.

"Bear…I love it. It's perfect, just like how I remembered it to be," I assure him.

He beams with pride. "Well it'll be a little different on the inside. Call it a few "improvements" I've made. I promise you'll like them."

"I'm sure I will. Why don't you show me?"

Gil takes my hand and pulls me up to the tree. He pushes aside some ivy and produces an ornate key from his pocket.

"I saw that the only thing to cover the entrance was a piece of bark. I reinforced it with some plywood and added a lock. I thought the ornate key was a nice touch," he tells me as he slips the key into the keyhole that's hidden in he bark. He holds the makeshift door open for me and bows.

"After you."

Giggling, I slip inside the crack in the trunk, taking notice that Gil smoothed out the rough edges to make it easier. The changes Gil made here are much more noticeable. There are new candles in all of the notches, and as Gil enters after me and starts to light them, I notice that they're lightly scented. The pleasant scent of lavender fills the small hollow. There's a thick blanket laid out on the bottom, and another folded up on the shelf with my old notebook and sketchpad. I see the picture I left behind here, all those years ago, stuck up against the wall. Next to it is a picture of me and Gilbert. Both are in simple frames with words painted along the bottom. The one with the photo of my parents says

"Birdie's Family." The one with me and Gilbert says "Birdie and Bear Forever" with a small heart.

Seeing the pictures makes my eyes fill with tears. I sit on my knees in front of them and reach out to softly brush my fingertips against the picture of my parents. Gilbert sits next to me and asks quietly, 'Are you okay, Birdie?"

I smile at him and kiss him, saying, "Merci, Bear. Thank you so much. I can't possibly thank you enough."

"It's nothing. I did it yesterday in a couple of hours."

"Still, it's so kind of you."

"Well, I'd do anything for you, Birdie. Besides, you haven't even seen everything yet, " he tells me before turning around and pointing to the other wall. I look at it and then up to see that he put wooden blocks by the notches that I'd use to climb up to the top, to make it easier.

"Go on up," He says.

I nod and start to climb up. There's a piece of wood covering the opening up to the top with a small latch attached to it. I undo the latch and climb out, gasping. The branches around the opening have grown more dense. It looks like they'd grown to create a canopy, but they've been cut back so that the sky is clear once again. There are more blankets laid out there, as well as some pillows. I take my shoes off and drop them back into the hollow before sitting on the blankets, pulling my knees to my chest.

Once Gil finishes putting out all the candles in the hollow, he climbs up to join me. He also removes his shoes before sitting next to me. The sun is starting to set, as I didn't get released from the hospital until the afternoon. I sigh and rest my head on Gil's shoulder, and in response, he wraps an arm around my waist. We lay back on the blankets and pillows, watching the sky change from light blue to that rainbow of colors you only ever seem to see during a particularly beautiful sunset, to deep purple as stars begin to show themselves. Gilbert sits up to light a few candles, but soon rejoins me in the blankets. I sigh and curl up against him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Bear, this is so much more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. Thank you so much," I say.

"I told you, Birdie. It's noting. You're my everything," He replies. He pauses, as if internally trying to decide whether he should continue or not.

"What is it, Bear?" I ask, looking up at him.

"I have two things I was to give to you. I'm just not sure if now is the right moment," he confesses. "But I guess now is as good a time as any."

He sits up and turns to face me. I do the same, curious as to what he wants me to have. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out two boxes. One of them looks kind of familiar, but I can't remember where I might have seen it before, and the other is simple and black. Gil sets the black one aside and holds out the brown one that seems familiar.

"Open it."

I take the box from him and carefully remove the lid. Inside is a bracelet of brown leather. It's thick and kind of looks like a cuff, with a large red stone on it and a maple leaf design embossed into it.

"Oh, Bear, it's lovely," I tell him, taking it out of the box and turning it over in my hands to admire the craftsmanship. Whoever made it really knew what they were doing. "This must have cost you a fortune."

"Not really. I asked Abel to make it, and he did it free of charge. I want you to wear it, as a reminder of the promise you made me, that you won't try to take your life again. So that if you ever feel like harming yourself again, you'll see it and be reminded," He explains to me.

I smile. "I won't ever forget. Can you help me put it on?"

He nods his head and ties it onto my wrist. I admire it and the way the red stone shines in the candle light. I don't notice when Gilbert picks up the second box, but when I do realize, I return my focus to him.

"Well, you see, Birdie... in my family, there's this sort of... tradition, I guess you would call it. Whenever we find someone we truly love, we give this to them. Opa gave one to mein grandmother, mein vater gave one to mein mutti, Roddy gave one to Liz, I think Lud gave one to that Italian kid, Feli, or is at least planning to, and now, I want to give one to you," He says. opening the box. Inside is an iron cross necklace, just like the one that Gil wears, only less worn. My eyes go wide when I see it, and I cover my mouth with my hand, shocked.

"B-Bear, a-are you serious?"

"Of course I am, Birdie. I love you so much, and I can't imagine not having you by my side. You're so precious to me, and I always want to be with you. W-Will you accept it?" He asks me, his voice growing nervous as he poses the question.

I let a gentle smile take over my face and reply softly,"How could I ever refuse it? Bear, you are so much to me. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You are the first and only person I've ever been able to really love. Back before my dad died, my mom would tell me that each of us have someone watching over us, protecting us; our guardian angel. One of the reasons I was able to put up with all of the bullying and abuse for so long was because I was waiting for my angel. You're my angel, Bear. I'm not sure how I know it... I just do. Being with you, trusting you, it just feels so right. I can't imagine being with anyone else, so yes, of course I'll accept it."

Gilbert beams at me and pulls me into a tight hug. He presses his face into the side of my head and whispers into my hair, "Ich Liebe Dich. So so much, Birdie."

I giggle and place a kiss on his cheek. Pulling back, he takes the iron cross out of the box and has me turn around so he can put it on for me. As he does so, I notice something carved into the back of it. Curious, I lift it so I can see it better. Carved in Gilbert's own handwriting, it says, "mein wertvoll Birdie, the only person in the world awesome enough to win my heart, too perfect to forget; my heart, my soul, and mein liebe will always belong to you and you alone. Ich liebe dich, Forever."

My heart fills with pure happiness as I read it. Bear holds me close again and asks softly,

"Do you like it?"

"Bear, I love it. Merci. Je t'aime, mon amor."

Gil smiles and hugs me close, and we lay back down on the blankets to look up at the stars which are appearing overhead. After a while, Gil says that he should be getting me home before my parents start to worry. I agree, and we leave the tree, making sure to blow out all the candles and lock the makeshift door. We head back towards Gil's car with our hands intertwined. We make it to a smaller clearing, not too far from the one with the car when Gilbert stops, a frown on his face.

"Is something wrong, Bear?" I ask, growing a little worried.

"We're not alone," he replies.

I'm about to ask what he means when I see a figure step out of the tree line. The moon is full tonight, so the clearing is bathed in soft moonlight. Looking towards the figure, I feel my blood freeze in my veins.

Standing not fifteen feet in front of us is the person I never wanted to see again in my life.

Carlos grins at us, and my body starts to shiver violently when he says, "I told you not to tell anyone, little slut, or I'd hurt your precious Gilbert. You went against my orders, now you need to be punished."

End of Chapter XXIV

A/N: HAHAHAHA and you guys thought that I was done with the cliffhangers. I'm so evil and I apologize, but I promise I will get the next chapter out ASAP. It might be a little while though because I kind of got a huge slap in the face with reality over the weekend and some things came to light for me that have kind of messed with my head where my art is concerned. I will be still writing this, don't worry. Nothing is going to keep me from writing this.

As always a word from my amazing beta Sakura 414:

Happy belated Valentine's Day, everyone! I hope you all ate a ton of chocolate, regardless of your relationship statuses. If not, here's some virtual chocolate for you to enjoy! :)

Thank you all for reading and supporting Wolf-chan's work!

Until next time my leiblings.

Wolf-Chan out.


	25. Chapter 25: A Fear, Reversed

A/N: Hello mein leiblings. I told you that I'd update soon and I am keeping that promise even if it kills me. Now just you sit back and enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: *Bows to HimaPapa shrine while chanting* I am not worthy, I am not worthy.

Enjoy!

Chapter XXV

Matthew's POV

"I told you not to tell anyone, little slut, or I'd hurt your precious Gilbert. You went against my wishes, so now you need to be punished," Carlos says, his voice ringing through the silence of the clearing as he raises his hand towards us. In it is a pistol, which, until this moment, had gone unnoticed.

Before I have time to react, I'm pushed to the ground, the sound of two gunshots ringing loudly through the air, making my head spin. When my head clears enough, I look up to see Carlos kneeling down, one of his knees bleeding profusely.

Turning my gaze to Gilbert, I see him pointing a handgun of his own towards Carlos. He's wounded as well; his shoulder is bleeding where Carlos' bullet must have clipped it. He doesn't seem to notice, though, as he keeps his icy gaze locked on my cousin.

"How dare you?" Gilbert says, his voice a deep and threatening growl as he glares at the Cuban teen. "What did Matthew ever do to you to deserve such horrid treatment?"

"He was so happy with his perfect little family, while I was cruelly robbed of my own family when I was just a kid. I wanted for him to be miserable. It sickened me to see him so giggly and happy. He's much more attractive when he's shaking and whimpering in fear," Carlos explains, spitting in my direction as if to emphasize his disgust before he continues.

"It's so vile to see him being so lovey dovey with you. It makes me wanna puke. So, to fix this problem, I'll take away what's responsible for his joy. And that just so happens to be you, my friend."

"You are no friend of mine," Gilbert spits back at him.

Carlos raises his gun again and fires another shot. This one embeds itself into Gilbert's stomach. Gilbert coughs and clutches the wound as blood starts to blossom on his shirt. He doubles over and fires off two shorts at Carlos, both hitting home. One hits his hand, forcing him to drop the gun in pain, and the other hits his uninjured knee, forcing him to fall fully to the ground.

Gilbert falls to his knees before collapsing fully to lie on his side. Throughout the ordeal, I'm frozen in place from fear. Seeing Gilbert collapse snaps me out of it.

"NO!" I scream, scrambling to Gilbert's side.

"Bear, please say something!" I beg as tears begin to stream down my face. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember reading once that being shot in the stomach is one of the most painful ways to die. Sobbing, I roll Gilbert onto his back and press on the wound, trying to slow the bleeding.

Gilbert groans and coughs up some blood. He looks at me with his crimson eyes and speaks weakly. "Hey, don't cry, Birdie. I…I'll be fine. You gotta call the police so they can take Carlos to jail."

"Gil, I need to call an ambulance so that they can take you to the hospital!" I choke out between my sobs.

"My cell is in my pocket. Don't cry. Please, Birdie," he says, cracking a smile, though the comfort is lost with the small bit of blood that emerges from the corner of his mouth.

Sobbing, I get out his phone, and, with fumbling fingers, dial 911. I hold the phone to my ear with one hand, the other returning to press against the wound on Gil's stomach.

It feels like an eternity before a calm female voice answers, "Hello, what is your emergency?"

"Please help me, my boyfriend was shot. He shot our attacker out of self-defense. We need an ambulance, please! He's bleeding out!" I cry into the phone.

"I need you to stay calm, sir, and tell me what your location is."

I describe where we are, and she says that a helicopter is on its way to find us. Remembering the flares that Gil keeps in his trunk, I run quickly to get them, as the car is only a few feet past the tree line. I swiftly return to Gil's side and remove my jacket, placing it under Gil's head as a pillow, as well as my shirt, pressing it into Gilbert's stomach.

He groans and I talk to him. "Please stay awake, Gil. Help is coming. You can't leave me."

Tears fill my eyes, only to drip down onto Bear's face. He reaches up and brushes a few of them away, cupping my cheek weakly.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, Birdie. I don't feel any pain," He tries to assure me. "Don't talk, Bear. You're gonna live. I promise."

He just smiles weakly, and his eyes fall closed just as I start to hear the sound of a helicopter in the distance. Grabbing the flare, I break it and hold it up so that it burns brightly, alerting the helicopter of our location.

After a few minutes, the helicopter flies over the clearing. A few moments later, it returns and hovers before slowly descending. I cover my face with my arm as it lands and paramedics rush out. Some come to Gilbert and I, while another rushes over to Carlos, who is trying to drag himself away with his uninjured arm.

I watch as they load Gilbert into the helicopter and Carlos as well. I tell the paramedics that Carlos is dangerous, which is only proven when he starts to scream at me.

"You slut! He's going to die! I'm going to win, just wait and see, you little whore!"

They use a sedative to knock him out, and one of the paramedics asks if I want to ride with them in the helicopter to the hospital. I nod and climb in, sitting next to Gilbert and gripping his hand tightly. As the helicopter lifts off the ground, I can only pray that we make it to the hospital in time.

End of Chapter XXV

A/N: Am I evil or what? I'm sorry for the short chapter and another cliffhanger. I hope that you aren't too mad at me. I promise I'll get the next chapter out ASAP. Oh and I'm staying with Denmark again in case any of you are wanting to hurt me. Oh and I have Karkat with me f that one reviewer is going to try and send Gamzee after me again. I've actually read Homestuck now and am recent and I don't appreciate having a sober Gamzee after me. It makes focusing on typing this very difficult with all the honks in the distance.

So yeah, oh in case any of you want to hear something interesting, My beta actually is not a PruCan fan. I was shocked to learn this a few weeks ago but I still love her. She's awesome and helps me keep what little sanity I still have.

I will now let this wonderful individual say a few words as always. You're one Sakura414:

Wow, you really want these people to murder me, Wolf-chan... Yes, I'll admit that I don't like PruCan, but I promise I have legitimate personal reasons for feeling the way I do. Please don't hate me!

Don't worry I won't let them kill you.

Hey I didn't realize it until after I finished writing the whole chapter and sent it off to my Beta for editing but tomorrow, February 22, 2013, is the one year anniversary of when I uploaded the very first chapter of this story. It's crazy to think that it's been a whole year. I mean so much has happened since then, both in the story and out of it.

Either way. This story has become something dear to me. It helps to keep me grounded, because when my life is going crazy and I need to escape, I can always come to this and type or write it. Knowing that I have people who enjoy it and who have found comfort and help from it makes me so happy. I'm glad I started this and I want you all to know that you are so important to me. You have no idea.

You guys are amazing and wonderful and without you, there would be no story. It would have never made it as far as it has. So to all my readers, I say thank you. You are truly wonderful and amazing, and I owe you all so much. You really have no idea what you mean to me.

On a less serious note. There is a reference to a musical in this chapter and the first reviewer who guesses it get's a one shot of their choice. All other reviewers get a virtual hug from and nation they want that is in this story or even me if they want one and every one of you guys gets a virtual piece of cakes to celebrate the one year anniversary of this fan fiction.

Thank you all of you. The ones who have been with me sine I started, you mean so much to me and even those who only started to read it now, you have no idea how much your support means to me.

Until next time mein lieblings.

Wolf-chan out.


	26. Chapter 26: Explinaiton and Waiting

A/N: Hallo mein leiblings! I'm just gonna get to the story since I know that many of you are dying to know what happens next. OH and to the reviewer who said that they'd send Kanaya after me, she wouldn't hurt me. She's my patron troll. Oh and Karkat says and I quote, "whatever fuckass" in a response to your hello so yeah he says hi too. Now on to the story.

Disclaimer: *Prays to the Himapapa shrine* Please let me please you oh powerful HimaPapa.

Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter XXVI

Matthew's POV

I sit in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. The helicopter arrived a few minutes ago; Gilbert was immediately rushed away into surgery, and Carlos was taken away to who knows where- I don't care what happens to him. I just want my Gilbert to live.

When he got taken away, a nurse asked me for Gil's family's number so that they could be called. I gave it to her in a shaky voice and she thanked me, telling me that a police officer had also been called so that I could be questioned about what happened. She informed me that I had to stay in the waiting room until they arrived. I followed her instructions, calling my own family to tell them where I am. They said that they'd be here soon, so all I have left to do now is wait.

For fifteen minutes, I don't move a muscle as I sit on the chair, staying perfectly silent with my knees held tightly to my chest; my whole body is shivering, and my clothes are covered in Gil's blood, but I don't care. I'm like this when Gilbert's family and my own arrive within seconds of each other. They see me curled into a shaking little ball on the hospital chair and rush over.

"What happened!?" Ludwig demands, clearly distraught and worried about his elder brother. I look up at them and try to speak in order to tell them what happened, only to find that my voice won't work. Starting to panic, I look at my family, my eyes full of fear.

Francis seems to understand the panic in my expression. He sits next to me and pulls me into his lap, just like he would do when I was little. Stroking my hair and rubbing my back, he holds me close and says softly, "Shhh, Papa's here. Just relax. It's going to be alright."

"No, it's not!" I cry, tears spilling down my cheeks as I finally find my voice again.

"What happened, Mattieu?"

As I take a deep breath and try to gather my scattered thoughts, a police officer enters the waiting room. He's tall, with wild spiky blond hair, electric blue eyes, and a beaming smile. He walks up to me and asks, "Are you Matthew Bonnafoy-Kirkland?"

I shakily nod my head, and he continues. "My name is Officer Matthias Køhlar. I need to ask you some questions about the incident involving you, Gilbert Beilschmidt, and Carlos Machado."

"O-Okay. C-can they be there, too?" I ask, referring to mine and Gilbert's families. "They're the families of Gilbert and myself, and they should know what happened... and I'd rather not have to repeat the story over and over again."

"That is fine. Now if you'll come with me. There is a room that we can use here that is a little more private."

I nod and stand, following the officer with the two families close behind. Officer Køhlar leads us to a room with a table and a few chairs. He motions for me to sit opposite him. I do so, and the families claim the other chairs, Gilbert's Grandfather and Alfred choosing to stand.

Officer Køhlar sits across from me and says, "Alright, why don't you start by explaining what you were doing in the woods in the first place?"

I swallow thickly, "W-well you see officer-"

"Please, just Matthias,' He cuts in, giving me a warm smile. He's probably trying to make me feel a little more comfortable, an action that I'm extremely grateful for.

"W-well, Matthias, me and my boyfriend, Gilbert, we…we were on a date. He took me to an old, hollow tree that had been my hideout when I was younger. I hadn't been there in years. He'd found it, fixed it up nicely, and took me there as a surprise. We were leaving, walking back to his car to go home, when C-Carlos showed up. Carlos is my cousin, and he-"

"You don't have to tell me your background with him; I already happen to know that," Matthias cuts in again. I look at him in confusion, so he chuckles lightly and elaborates. "You wouldn't happen to remember the names Berwald and Tino, would you?"

My eyes get wide as I reply, "Y-yes, th-those were the names of the police from that time…"I trail off, recalling the two officers that were there the night my mother had taken her own life. Seeing the shock and continuing confusion on my face, Matthias explains.

"Tino and Berwald are very good friend of mine. They heard about what happened a few weeks ago at the art show, recognized your name, and told me about you. So you won't have to talk about your past at all if it makes you uncomfortable."

I smile weakly, "TH-thank you."

"No problem, kid. Now, why don't you continue? You said you and Gilbert were leaving when Carlos showed up?"

"Yes. A few weeks ago, I'd tried to end my life because of something Carlos forced me to do. He'd threatened to hurt Gilbert if I told anyone about it."

"Do you mind telling me what it was that Carlos forced you to do? Did he sexually assault you, or something of that nature?"

"N-no, I…I've had an issue for the past few years with c…cutting myself. I-it's not an issue anymore, since Gilbert has been helping me not do it, but somehow Carlos knew about it. He forced me to self-injure and break the promise that I'd made to Gilbert not to do so."

Matthias nods in understanding. "I see, and he threatened your boyfriend to make sure that you kept quiet about it?"

"Yes, but when Gilbert saved me after I tried to take my own life out of guilt, I told him everything. That's why Carlos showed up. He was there to "punish"me for going against his orders to not tell anyone," I explain.

Again, Matthias nods before signaling for me to continue.

"H-he had a gun- a pistol, I think. He held it towards me and Gil. I'm not exactly sure about what happened next, because it happened so fast."

"That's okay, just tell me what you remember to the best of your abilities and what you think happened," He tells me.

"W-well, the next thing I knew, I was on the ground and two gunshots had fired. Gilbert was standing over me, pointing a gun at Carlos. I don't know where he got it from. I think that he had pushed me to the ground and drawn his gun to shoot at Carlos, as Carlos had fired a shot at us. Gilbert's shoulder got hit by a bullet, and he'd hit Carlos in the knee. Gilbert barely seemed to notice that he was bleeding, and he asked Carlos why he was always hurting me, since I never did anything to him. He…he said cause…he hated…hated seeing me so happy and cheerful. When he was young, his parents died in a car accident and my parents took him in. He hated that I got to be so happy with my parents, when his had died. He…he also said that…it sickened him to see me happy and that…that I was much more…attractive when I'm scared of him."

A frown forms on Matthias's face and he asks, "Is there any more?"

I nod. "He…he shot Gilbert again…in the stomach. Gil fell to his knees. He was able to get two shots off at Carlos before he collapsed completely. They hit my cousin in the hand that was holding the gun and his other knee. Th-that's when I rushed over to Gilbert's side. I used his phone to call 911 and ran to get the flares from the trunk of his car so that the helicopter could find us when it got there. I kept trying to keep him awake until they arrived, but he passed out just as I was starting to hear the helicopter in the distance. I set the flare off so that they would see where we were... and I guess the rest is history," I finish at last, looking down at my hands in my lap.

A thick silence envelopes the room as I finish my story. On everyone's faces are different levels of shock and horror. Matthias lets out a low whistle.

"Damn, that…that's sure one hell of a story," He says slowly, as if his brain is still trying to process what he's been told.

"It's not a story; it's the truth!"

"Easy, I'm not saying that it isn't the truth. I don't really know what else to call it. I'll have to question Gilbert is he wakes up to make sure that the stories match up and it's not just a big fabrication. It's just standard procedure so I have to do it, but I want you to know that I believe you," he explains.

I nod and whisper, "Thank you."My heart feels heavy when he talks about questioning Gilbert IF he wakes up. I want Gilbert to be okay more than anything. Just the thought of him not surviving brings tears to my eyes.

Gilbert's grandfather must notice the tears that are glistening in my eyes, because he places a hand on my shoulder. I look up at him, surprised.

"Gilbert will live. He's a strong boy, and he's survived worse than this," He tells me. "When he was young, he was in a car accident and nearly lost his life protecting his brother. His back was sliced wide open by glass. He was in intensive care for a week and a half before he even woke up. He WILL survive this. I know he will; after all, he has you waiting for him. He never abandons those who are dear to him, and going by your pendant, I can tell that you are very dear to him."

I blush as I remember the iron cross hanging from my neck. Reaching up, I touch it gently, recalling what Gil said about it being a family tradition.

"Where did you get that necklace, Mattieu?" Francis asks, just now noticing it.

"Gilbert gave it to me on our date," I tell him in my soft voice.

"What did you mean, Mr. Beilschmidt? If you don't mind me asking, how does it tell you that Matthew is that important to Gilbert?" Arthur inquires, curious. The same curiosity is mirrored in Francis, Alfred, and Matthias's faces.

"There's a tradition in the Beilschmidt family. When we find someone whom we care about and love deeply, we give them that pendant. It's a symbol of our promise to stay by their side and love them no matter what life brings forth to challenge us. I gave one to the boys' grandmother, and their father gave one to their mother. By him giving one to Matthew, I can tell that he is extremely important to Gilbert," Mr. Beilschmidt explains to them.

"That's sweet. Well, I have to go and fill out a report on his back at HQ, but the hospital was informed to call me whenever Carlos and Gilbert wake up so that I can question them," Matthias say.

"Alright. Thank you, officer," Arthur replies.

"It's my job. Thank you for cooperating…and Matthew, he'll be okay," he tells me. I give him a small smile, and he ruffles my hair a bit before leaving. The rest of us go back to the waiting room. I resume my seat upon one of the chairs with my knees pulled up against my chest. Arthur places a hand onto my shoulder, and I turn to look at him.

"Do you want to go home so you can get some clean clothes and some sleep, Matthew?" he asks me.

I shake my head. "I don't want to leave…Not until Gil wakes up."

He sighs and replies, "Alright. Come on, Alfred. We are going home. Francis, you stay here with Matthew. We will be back soon with some clean clothes for him."

"Be safe, rosebif," Francis says, Kissing Arthur quickly.

"I will. Now let's go, Alfred,"he replies, heading towards the door.

Alfred gives me a quick hug and whispers, "Stay strong, Mattie. He's gonna be okay."

When he pulls back, I give him a grateful smile, which he returns as he leaves with Arthur. I return to staring at the floor in front of my chair, thinking to myself, "I swear, I'll be right here when you wake up, Gilbert. I won't leave your side."

End of Chapter XXVI

A/N: Well a lot of you probably want to kill me, but I promise the next chapter is when you find out if Gilbert lives or not. So no sending people after me. I have lots of people and animals from my reviewers here as protection against whatever armies you can throw at me. Also, you guys really need to understand the concept that if you kill the author you don't get a happy ending to the story. You don't get an ending at all. SO yeah, stop sending things after me cause I'm being evil to the characters. I already promised you that I'm going to give them a happy ending so just be patient.

Okay there was something that I wanted to put in this but I forgot it. Oh yeah, for those of you who are not already aware of this. I'm planning of rewriting this story using my own characters and getting it published. The title will remain the same; the nationalities of the characters will remain the same as well so yeah. Just thought I should give you guys the heads up.

Oh yeah, another thing. I know I already used Matthias once in the story way back in like chapter four but I had forgotten about that when I was writing this. SO yeah, deal with it, you get more sexy Denmark. I plan on including all of the Nordics (including Sealand) so keep an eye out for the last two.

As with every other chapter, here's a word from my incredible Beta, Sakura414:

It's going to be late once this chapter is posted, but I just wanted to tell you all that today (March 1) is self-injury awareness day. So even though this fandom is full of such wonderful people, I'd like to remind you to be kind to everyone, and always be there for the ones you love, because you never know who goes home and takes a blade to their skin. It could be anyone; even people with clean wrists and smiles on their faces.

Oh yeah I totally forgot about that, and, since Sakura414, ahs graciously reminded me. I feel lik ei need ot say that you are all such beautiful amazing people. If you ever feel like you're completely alone. Remember that you have me to talk to no matter what an I love you all no matter what.

Review please since they're my life blood.

Until next time mein leiblings.

Wolf-chan out


	27. Chapter 27: My Wait Over

A/N: hallo mein leiblings! I'm getting this out fast, mostly cause I have a whole period to type and have nothing better to do. So yeah not much more to say other than enjoy.

Disclaimer: *Praises the HimaPapa*

Chapter XXVII

Matthew's POV

I wake to someone shaking me. When I look up, Liz is standing over me. She and Roderiech must have arrived while I was sleeping. Looking at the clock, I see that it's one in the morning, four hours after Gilbert and I arrived at the hospital. Turning back to Liz, I see that she's smiling at me.

"Bonjour," I murmer, slipping into French as I have tendency to do when I have just woken up.

She just continues to smile softly at me and tells me, "The doctor told us that Gil has stabilized. Only one person is allowed to go in to see him. We want you to be that person."

My eyes widen. "B-but you guys are his family. One of you should be the ones to go see him."

"True, but we can see how important you two are to each other. Your parents did the same for Gilbert when it was you who was hurt. It's only fair that we return the favor," she explains. I smile gratefully, looking at Gil's family.

"M-merci. Th-thank y-" I begin, but am cut off by Gilbert's grandfather saying, "You are important to Gilbert, Matthew. We believe that if he wakes to you at his bedside, it will make him much happier than if it was one of us. Now go."

He motions for me to follow the doctor who is waiting to show me the way to Gil's room. He's average height with pale, almost silver blonde hair. A pin shaped like an upside down cross holds his bangs back, and a random curl seems to float in the air at the back of his head.

I stand and say, "Please take me to where Gil is."

The doctor nods and leads me through the hospital's maze of hallways.

"Mr. Beilschmidt is unconscious at the moment, and he still has a high risk of relapse, but the way things are going now, it looks like he should make a full recovery. Oh, my name is Doctor Køhlar, by the way," the doctor informs me.

"Oh, are you brothers with the police officer who came in earlier to question me?" I ask. "I think his name was Matthias, if I remember correctly."

"No; he's my husband, unfortunately," he corrects me.

"Oh. Well, thank you very much for cAring for Gilbert. He means a lot to me, Doctor Køhlar," I tell him.

"Please call me Lukas. 'Doctor Køhlar' makes me sound old. And I know; I recognized your name from a couple of friends of me and my husband, Berwald and Tino Oxenstierna."

"S-so you know, too?"

"About what you've been through? Yes, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The things that happened to me then led me to Gilbert, and I don't regret meeting him one bit," I say.

Lukas looks at me silently for a bit, before the barest hint of a smile appears on his face.

"I can tell. We're doing all that we can to make sure that he recovers," he replies.

I smile back at him and say, "Thank you. It means so much to me."

"It's nothing. It is my job, after all. If I can't give my all to save someone, then I wouldn't be a very good doctor, would I?"

"I suppose not."

"Exactly. Now, here we are. I'll let you have your time alone with him. Press the blue button on the wall by his bed if he wakes up or starts to take a turn for the worse. It will page me immediately," he instructs me. I nod my head in understanding and go into Gilbert's room.

He's lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully. His skin is even paler than it usually is, making him as white as the sheets on the bed beneath him. Bandages are wrapped around his shoulder and torso, going down below the blankets that are over him. There's an iv in his arm, as well as one of those tubes in his nose that I think are supposed to help him breath.

It scares me, because he looks so fragile. Gil has been my rock, and to see him in such a weak state terrifies me.

i sit in the chair that's placed next to his bead. With shaking hands, I reach out and take his hand in mine. It feels cool under my fingers. I rub my thumb across his knuckles and hold it as if it's made of glass. Looking at Gil's face, I'm surprised to find myself speaking.

"Hey, Bear. It's Matthew, your Birdie. I…I don't know if you can hear me but, I want to say thank you. You've done so much for me. You've saved me…multiple times over, and now…you took two bullets because of me. I can't possible ever even hope to thank you enough for everything you've done. All I can do is pray with all my heart that you'll wake up. If you don't wake up, I …I don't know what I'm going to do. You're so important to me, Gilbert. You're everything to me. I can't go on without you, so please, please don't leave me, Bear. I need you. Je 'taime, Ich liebe dich, I love you, I will always love you. You have my heart, Bear. You have it now and you will always have it, forever. Just please, don't leave me. I don't want to be alone."

There's a silence for a while, broken only by the sounds of my quiet sobbing. I can't stop the tears that roll down my cheeks, nor can I stifle the choked sobs that slip through my lips. I stop, though, shocked, when a quiet voice speaks.

"I won't leave you, Birdie. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I abandoned you like that? I don't intend to leave you alone now, or for a long time coming."

I gasp and look up from staring at Gil's hand in mine to see those perfect, amazing, awesome crimson eyes gazing back at me full of love and an adoration that I don't think I'll ever really deserve.

"B-Bear?"

"The one and only awesome," he says, grinning at me the best he can with the tubes in his nose.

The tears in my eyes find new strength, but this time form joy as I stand and throw my arms around Gil, pressing my face into his neck as my shoulders shake with sobs.

Gil grunts lightly, wrapping his arms carefully around my back, carding his fingers though my hair as he says, "Easy, Birdie. Everything's going to be just fine."

When I hear him grunt, I quickly pull back, looking over him worried.

"Are you alright, Bear? I didn't hurt you, did I?" I ask him, concern filling my voice.

He chuckles and plays with my hair a bit. "I'm fine, liebe. Just a bit tired."

I sigh in relief and say, "I was so scared, bear. I thought that you weren't gonna wake up."

"I know, Birdie. I felt the same way after you tried to kill yourself. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that fear," he replies.

"It's alright, Bear. Just so long as you're okay in the end, I'll be okay too," I tell him.

"Still, you've been through enough pain and suffering to last a lifetime already."

I smile and kiss him lightly, "I'm stronger than I seem. Now, we should call the doctor. Also, a police officer is gonna come and question you about what happened. He already questioned me, but he needs to make sure that he gets the whole story."

"Sounds fine to me, just so long as you promise that you'll stay by my side. I don't want there to be any chance for you to run into Carlos without me."

"Don't worry. Carlos is in the hospital, too. They brought him here to treat his wounds. He's being kept under close watch, though, I think. He started yelling at me when the paramedics got there, so they know that he's dangerous to me. I won't run into him, but even so, I'm not gonna leave your side until you're better. I promise," I reply as I press the button to call the doctor.

The rest of the day is a flurry of activity. Lukas does a bunch of tests on Gil to make sure that he's healing as he should be and that he really is as fine as he says he is. Thankfully, he's healing just fine, and quicker than Lukas had originally anticipated.

Matthias returns to the hospital and questions Gilbert about what happened. The only difference between his story and mine is that Gilbert is able to tell him where he got the gun from.

Apparently he'd had a feeling that he would need some sort of protection, so he'd gotten permission from his grandfather to bring it with him. He had a license back in Germany to let him handle guns, and he is in the middle of getting one for here in America.

Matthias says that he might have an issue with that but knows the judge and is sure that he will see that it's viewed as a special case and allowed to slide. He also tells us that Gil might be able to get off free since what he did was self-defense, and at most he'll probably get a fine, which Gil's grandfather says he will gladly pay.

I keep my word, staying by Gilbert's side, even after visiting hours are over. Lukas receives special permission to allow me to stay given the circumstances. He has a nurse bring me a blanket and pillow so that I can sleep on the small couch under the window of the room.

The next day is much calmer. Me and Gil just talk and watch the television in the room as he complains about the crappy hospital food. He only stops complaining when I promise to make him as many pancakes as he can eat once he gets let out.

Later in the afternoon, we're watching some show called NCIS that Gil seems to love, when there's a knock on the door.

A nurse enters and says, 'You have two visitors, Mr. Beilschmidt."

He steps aside to reveal Alfred. There's someone behind Al, but I can't quite tell who it is until he follows Al into the room. I'm frozen in shock and some fear to see Ivan Braginski in Gil's hospital room, looking nervous for the first time since I meet him.

End of Chapter XXVII

A/N: yeah I'm evil. I can't really say more other than don't stop reading.

As always a word from gorgeous my Beta Sakura 414:

I'm sorry it took so long for me to edit this thing! I'm sure my fellow theatre kids can attest to the fact that tech week pretty much entails zombie-like behavior and/or full-on death, so I didn't really have the time to... well, do much of anything, really. West Side is over, though, so now we have time together with time to spare... time to look... time to care... SOMEHOW! SOMEDAY! SOMEWHEEEEEEERE! ...Ahem... Please excuse me...

Don't worry Sakura the reviews understand. Trust me guys when I say that Sakura was seriously zombie-fied. She even caught a cold since lack of sleep lower her immune system. But she's getting better and we're both going to Zenkaikon. I'll be heading there after school tomorrow and Sakura will attend on Saturday and Sunday. I'm gonna be Nepeta and Sollux from homestuck on Friday and Saturday and then Prussia for Sunday and maybe part of Saturday. If you're going don't hesitate to say hi if you think it's me. I'd absolutely love to meet some of you in person.

SO yeah updates should be back to normal since the show is over so thanks a billion for being patient with us.

Until next time leiblings.

Wolf-chan out.


	28. Chapter 28: New Revelations

A/N: Okay I'm back mein lieblings! Now I know you'll want to read the chapter after how the last one ended so I'll get right to it.

Disclaimer: *cries* I am not worthy of owning these characters. HimaPapa is god.

Chapter XXVIII

Gilbert's POV

Upon seeing Ivan enter the room, I feel my whole body tense up in anger. A growl-like sound rips itself from my throat, and I glare at him with pure hatred.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" I demand, furious that he has the audacity to come here after what he's done, but feeling at least a little curious as to why he's here.

Ivan looks nervously to Alfred, who steps between him and me.

"Easy, guys. He doesn't want any trouble, I promise. Ivan has something he has to say, and you and Mattie need to hear it. I wouldn't have brought him here if I didn't think so. Just let him explain, okay?" he says.

"How the hell can you defend one of the people who pushed _your own brother_ into trying to take his own life?!" I all but yell at him.

"Gilbert, calm down. I know that you don't want to, but just let him explain. Trust me: I wanted to bash his brains in, too, but I listened to him, and believe me when I say that you need to hear what he has to say. So hear him out, just this once," Alfred replies.

I frown and glance at Birdie. He's frozen at my side, fear clearly visible in his eyes. I grab his hand, hoping to calm him a bit. He seems to snap out of his stupor and looks at me.

"Well…do you want to hear him out?" I ask. I don't really want to listen, but if Birdie does, then I will, too.

He nods. "Y-yeah. He should get a chance to try and explain himself."

I sigh and look at Ivan, "Fine, but if you're making this up, I will not hesitate to hurt you."

Ivan seems to relax and says, "I promise that it's all true. It's a bit of a long story, one that started when I met Alfred and Matvey. I met them when we were very young; six, I think. I'm not lying when I say that I very much wanted to be their friend. However, the night after I met them, I received a phone call. I didn't know who it was from, I didn't know the voice, but it ordered me to bully Matvey. I didn't want to, so I refused at first, but the voice told me that if I didn't do as it said that my sisters would be put in harm's way. My sisters are both extremely important to me, as they're all the family I have left. I just couldn't let them be put in danger, even if I had to be cruel to someone else. I didn't want to, but I had to protect them.

When we started high school, a name and face was finally put to the voice that had ordered me around for so many years. I had no idea that I had pushed you to the point of cutting until Carlos informed me of his plan a few weeks ago. I wanted nothing to do with it, believe me. Just knowing what I have done, and what I pushed you to do, makes me utterly disgusted at myself. I hate myself for being too weak to refuse Carlos. You have every right to hate me forever, Matvey. I will understand if you do. I already hate myself. I'm just a horrible monster and a weakling. But please, if you could possibly find it in your heart to ever forgive me, I want to say that I am so sorry for everything that I have ever done to hurt you. The mere thought of what I've done sickens me to the point where I just want to die. I'm so sorry, Matvey," he finishes. I stare at him, utterly shocked. Ivan has tears in his eyes, a sight I never thought was possible. The person before me isn't the cold-hearted monster that my mind has made him out to be up until now. He's just a kid, like me. One who's scared and just wanted to protect his family.

Looking over at Birdie, I see no emotion on his face. I do, however, see a softness in his eyes that another might miss. A silence fills the room as we wait with baited breath to see how he will respond. Turning my gaze back to Ivan, I see eyes full of a regret and self-hatred so deep that I feel my heart go out to the Russian boy in pity.

"I forgive you," Birdie says after several minutes of heavy silence, his quiet voice loud in the stillness of the room.

Ivan's head snaps up, his face showing a mixture of shock and hope.

"R-really?" He stutters in disbelief.

Birdie nods in reply, a small smile placing itself on his lips as he responds. "I know better than anyone what Carlos is capable of. I know how it feels to be trapped and cornered into doing horrible things in order to protect those who are dear to me. It wouldn't be fair for me to hate you for something that wasn't within your control."

A smile of pure relief stretches itself across Ivan's face. In all my life, I don't think I've ever seen a person so filled with happiness from simply being forgiven. Then again, sometimes to be forgiven for what you've done is the greatest prize of all.

Ivan beams at Matthew and says, "Oh thank you. Thank you so much, Matvey. I …I don't know how I can possibly thank you enough."

He steps forward, as if to hug Mattie, but stops when Birdie raises his hand.

" Just a moment, Ivan. Yes, I do forgive you, but it will take me time to heal fully from all that has been done," he explains. Ivan's smile falters a bit before Birdie continues.

"However, maybe if we were to start over on a clean slate, we might be able to be friends. Just like you wanted to be when we were young."

Ivan nods his head as his smile returns with new light. "Дa, I think I would like that. I think I would like that very much."

He holds out his hand to shake. Birdie takes it, returning the smile with his own small one, saying, "It's nice to meet you, Ivan. My name is Matthew."

"The pleasure is all mine, Matvey," Ivan responds, an almost giddy smile on his face, like a kid on Christmas morning.

Actually, Mattie, Ivan and I have some other news that we need to share with you," Alfred adds in.

"Дa, that we do," Ivan adds, taking a step back from Birdie to stand next to Alfred,. I'm surprised when the tall Russian teen puts his arm around the American's waist, causing a faint blush to form on the latter's face.

"Well, um…Ivan and I are kind of… dating," Al announces nervously, fiddling with his fingers and chewing on his lip.

Birdie deadpans from shock. "What…I thought that you hated Ivan."

"I know, and I can explain. I had no idea about him bullying you when we started going out. When I learned about that, I tried to break it off immediately. That's when Ivan told me the truth about what happened. And, well…I never really hated him. I eventually developed a crush on him, I guess, and after we started going out, it became a kind of a cover since we didn't want people to know about us going out just yet," Al explains. I find myself unable to suppress a small chuckle at how frazzled and embarrassed the normally confident teen is. That's one thing that he and Birdie definitely have in common. When they get nervous, they tend to fumble with their words and act all flustered and adorable, though Birdie is way cuter in my opinion. Then again, I am a bit biased.

"And how long, exactly, has this been going on?" Birdie inquires.

"Um…I think we started going out about a month before school ended last year," Al answers, fiddling nervously as Birdie stares at them with the look of a protective sibling.

Focusing his gaze on Ivan he questions him, "Ivan, do you care about my brother?"

"Дa, very much."

"Do you swear to treat him with respect and kindness?"

"Дa, I will."

"Do you promise to never force yourself on him or pressure him into something that he doesn't want?"

"Of course, I would never force my sunflower into doing something that he didn't want to do," Ivan answers without a moment's hesitation. A blush blooms further on Al's face at the nickname, going to the tips of his ears.

"Do you promise to never hurt him?"

"Never! Just the thought of him hurting kills me inside. I have done all I can to keep him safe."

"Hold up, what do you mean, done all you can to keep me safe, Ivan?" Alfred cuts in, looking at the Russian boy, a frown on his lips. Said Russian teen goes quiet, staring down at his feet to avoid his boyfriends questioning gaze.

"Please tell me what you meant, Ivan," Alfred begs him.

Ivan sighs and answers, "I didn't want to tell you, because I knew you would worry."

"I don't care, just tell me." Al demands.

"After we started dating…I tried to tell Carlos that I didn't want to hurt Matvey anymore. He…he threatened me again, though. He said that if I didn't continue to bully Matvey, that…that wouldn't hurt my sisters, but you instead. I simply couldn't stand the thought of you being hurt. I'm so sorry, Alfred." Ivan explains quietly, hanging his head in shame.

Birdie sighs and speaks up, "Don't feel bad, Ivan,. That's what Carlos does. It's what he's always done, and what he's best at. He figures out what's most important to you, and he uses it to bend you to his will until you're a marionette under his control."

"Still, I hate being so weak that I can't stand against him," Ivan grumbles.

"You're not weak, Ivan. You were merely doing what you thought you had to in order to protect the one that you love. That's not weakness at all. It's loyalty to protecting the one you hold dear. There's nothing wrong with that," Birdie assures him.

"Are you sure, Matvey? Because it certainly doesn't feel like it," Ivan asks, looking similar to a kicked puppy as he sits heavily on the couch under the window.

"Of course he is, Ivan! You were only doing what you needed to do to protect me. I'm just pissed that Carlos used me in order to make you do his dirty work. That bastard makes me sick. He better be thrown in jail for life after all the hell he's put you and Mattie through," Alfred cuts in.

A small smile plays across Ivan's lips and he pulls Alfred into a hug, nuzzling his neck a bit.

"Thank you, sunflower. I'm just glad that Carlos is finally going to be brought to justice for his horrible crimes. He is a terrible man and should be locked away for the rest of his days," he says.

"You're not alone there," I add, "I'm going to make sure that he is punished."

"Well, you shall have whatever support I can give. I will assist you in any way that I am able," he replies seriously.

"Actually, I think I might know a way you can help, Ivan. Mattie, we should call that cop that came in to question you and Gil so that Ivan can tell him his side of the story. I'm afraid that with only your and Gil's sides of the story, Ivan might get punished because of what Carlos forced him to do," Al pipes up. He grasps his boyfriends hand tightly, now sitting in his lap, fear is showing through the tenseness of his body and the way he presses again Ivan.

"You're right, Al. I want to make sure that no charges are brought against Ivan, since he had no choice in what he did. Matthias gave me his number so that I could reach him in emergencies. I'm going to go call him now," Birdie says before quickly hurrying out of the room.

While we wait for him to return, we watch whatever's on the tv, NCIS having ended. What's currently on is apparently some show called Say Yes to the Dress. Since we're too lazy to change the channel, we end up watching that until Matthias arrives.

End of chapter XXVIII

A/N: well what do you think of my little twist. It took me a while to figure out how to do this cause I wanted to somehow make Ivan not a bad guy. So yeah buig twist. Only three more chapters and then the epilogue and this story will be all done. I'm very excited for it. Not really sure what else to say.

As always a word from my amazing Beta Sakura414:

All I have to say is that I'm really, really sorry! This has been sitting in my inbox for ages, and I totally forgot about it until Wolf-chan reminded me a couple days ago. XD

Review please and tell me what you think! I love hearing from you guys.

Until next time mein leiblings.

Wolf-Chan out.


	29. Chapter 29: An Old Bond, Renewed

A/N: Hello mein leiblings. I'm so sorry about how slow updates have been as of late. Zenkaikon and post con depression really messed with me and my beta's schedule so yeah. But we're working hard to get back on track. I'm very happy about all the positive feedback that the last chapter got an di hope that this one gets just as much if not more. So yeah, I have something else i really want to say and some big news that I want to share with you guys but I'll leave that for the end of the chapter since I know you all probably just want to get on to the story so I'll get right to it.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Himapapa I am not worthy. I am not worthy at all.

Chapter XXIX

~Time skip~

~3 Weeks later~

Gilbert's POV

I pull at the collar of my shirt and look at my reflection in the dresser mirror in front of me. I'm wearing a nice button down shirt. The deep red color matches my eyes nicely, though at the moment, I'm a bit too nervous to care about how nice my eyes look. My black dress pants are held up by a simple black leather belt, and my shirt is, for once, tucked in neatly. My combat boots have been temporarily traded for a pair of nice shoes, borrowed from Opa. My silver hair has been brushed and forced down into looking at least somewhat neat.

Silver cuff links glint in the light on my wrists. Their shape is that of the Prussian Eagle. They're a special heirloom from my mother's side of the family. When Opa gave them to me for my sixteenth birthday, he told me that they were always passed to the eldest child in the family. Mein mutti had apparently left them for me in her will with instructions that they be given to me when I turned sixteen years old. I only ever wear them for special occasions, like today. Today is the day when the final verdict for Birdie's case against Carlos is to be announced. I'm more nervous now then I've been in a long time.

I sigh and attempt to put my tie on with one hand, failing miserably. My left arm is in a sling, since my shoulder is still healing. I can't play music, but the doctor said that I should be able to play with no problem once it's fully healed. I don't mind it too much, except that getting dressed is painful and annoying.

There's a knock on my door and Opa enters after I say it's open. He chuckles lightly upon seeing me grow more and more frustrated and tangled up with my tie. He takes it from me gently and helps me to put it on properly before smoothing down my hair, as it had gotten messed up from my struggle. Once done, he rests his hand lightly upon my uninjured shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" he asks me.

"Pretty good. A bit sore, but it's nothing I can't handle," I tell him, grinning as I jokingly add, "I am your grandson, after all. All those fighting lessons and training sessions with West would have been a huge waste if I didn't at least learn how to handle a little pain."

He just nods, but knowing him as well as I do, I can easily see the hint of sadness that passes through his eyes. I'm a bit confused by it, since it's rare for him to be upset.

"What's wrong, Opa?" I inquire.

Sighing, he says, "Ich can't hide much from you und your bruder anymore can Ich?"

"Not really; we know you too well," I reply, smiling a bit.

He gives me a small smile as his hand moves to rest against the side of my neck. His thumb strokes my jaw softly, almost as if I'm made of glass and will break if he isn't care full.

"With every passing day, you und your bruder remind me more of your parents. Ludwig is so much like your Vater, Even trying to be a lawyer like him, like Ich would be ashamed of him for being anything else," he tells me.

I chuckle lightly. "Ja, even though he's way more comfortable in an apron and covered with flour than in a stuffy suit with a briefcase."

Opa nods and continues. "You, though... you are so much like your mutti. Ich see so much of her in you, every day. You received so much more from her than your hair und eyes."

Confused by his words, I give him a questioning look. I don't see how I'm like mein mutti. From what I remember, she was kind, gentle, and sweet, whereas I'm loud and obnoxious, and most people find me annoying. I just don't see how I'm like her at all. Seeing confusion written plainly on my face, Opa explains.

"When Ich met your mutti for the first time, to say Ich was shocked would be a severe understatement. She was such a free spirit, so wild and different. Ich never thought her relationship with you vater would last for very long, to be honest. Yet the more Ich watched the two of them together, the more Ich began to see just how much of a perfect match she was for him. He was always a very quiet und orderly person, yet when they were together, he began to open up and become more relaxed. She brought out a side of him that no one else could. He smiled more and would only ever truly laugh when she was with him. It was clear that she brought him a happiness like no other. With time, she even made her way into my own heart, und by the time your vater proposed to her, she was already like a daughter to me. She never let herself be bothered with what other people thought of her, and she gave a smile that would instantly light up a room to any person who looked her way. She had such a life to her that it was impossible to be sad when she was near.

When you were born, you gave us all a scare when you weren't breathing, but once you began to cry, Ich could tell that you were going to be like her. Even as a baby less than a minute old, you refused to die. You had her will. As Ich watched you grow, you became more und more like her. You had the same free spirit, the same bright smile, und the same feeling of life about you. When she und your vater passed, it left you, though. It didn't vanish completely, but it became muted. It only showed itself when you would play your music with Friedrich, but it once again left after his passing. Lately, though, ever since you met Matthew, Ich have seen it returning. Ich cannot voice how happy it makes me to see you finally becoming yourself again. Matthew has finally brought you back home to us, and though you've faced many hardships, I know that you two are meant for each other. I hope you will stand together against many challenges to come in the future," he tells me. I'm shocked, and stare at him for a moment before I smile up at him.

Then, I do something that I haven't done in many years. I step forward and hug him, a bit awkwardly with my arm being in a sling and all, but it's the first hug I've given him in a long time. I press my face into his chest and force myself to keep from pulling away. He freezes for a moment, no doubt surprised by my sudden affection, the kind that I haven't shown since I was little. After a moment, however, he relaxes and wraps his arms gently around me in return. I'm shaking a bit, and his fingers run through my hair as I whisper, "Opa, to tell you the truth, I'm scared. What if something goes wrong today? What if Carlos is set free? What if they choose to lock up me and Ivan instead? There's just so much that could go wrong."

Opa pulls back a bit and lifts my chin so that he can look me in the eye.

"Gilbert Katte Beilschmidt, Ich assure you that no matter what happens today, you will _always_ have the leibe und support of us behind you. We will not allow anyone to hurt you und Matthew any further. You are both very precious to us. Don't you ever forget this. Do you understand?"

A sense of immense pride fills me upon hearing his assurances. I smile a bit and nod, responding, "Ja, I understand, Opa. I swear, I won't ever forget, no matter what happens."

Returning my smile, he cleans my face of tears like he would when I was small and says, "Gut. Now come on. We must hurry und leave. Ludwig is already waiting in the car. We'll be late if we don't leave now."

I nod again, a new-found determination filling me. We climb into the car and head off toward the courthouse, where the case is finally to be closed, bringing a much awaited end to all of this madness.

Matthew's POV

I pace nervously back and forth in the area just outside the courtroom where the trial is going to be held. Alfred and Ivan are sitting on a bench that rests against the wall. Both are nervous, but they are much better at hiding it than I am. Then again, they have each other here to hold onto for a sense of assurance. I don't have Gilbert here to help keep me together. He should be here already, but he's not. I can't stop shaking as millions of thoughts and worries about what could go wrong and why Gilbert isn't here already flash through, only serving to upset me more as I pace, unable to stay still.

I'm almost to the point of hyperventilating from worry, so nervous that I don't notice the sound of quick footsteps approaching me.

"Birdie!" I hear. Turning around so fast that I almost give myself whiplash, I see Gil rushing down the hall towards me.

"Bear!" I cry out, running to meet him, ignoring how loud my voice and footsteps are in the echoing hall. Upon reaching him, I throw my arms around his chest, doing my best to not upset his injuries. Pressing my face into his uninjured shoulder, I whisper, "I was scared that something had happened to you."

I feel his chest shaking as he chuckles. He puts his hand under my chin , lifting my face to place a light kiss on my lips.

"Nope, just a bit late. I'm sorry for making you worry. Nothing could keep me from being here. I want to be there when they sentence that arschloche to life in prison. Well... and I kind of have to be here, since I'm in the trial and all."

"Well, having you here helps me. I'm so nervous that I can barely stand, but when you're at my side, my nerves are much calmer."

My words bring a soft smile to Bear's lips. He gives me another chaste kiss on my lips, saying, "Gut."

Gil's family approaches us, his grandfather speaking up. "Hallo, Matthew. How are you fairing?"

"I'm doing well, much better now that Gil's here," I reply, hugging Bear's arm.

"Gut," he says with a tiny smile, "Where are your parents?"

"They're inside already," I tell him, pointing to the courtroom doors, "They said that they'll come and get me, Al, and Ivan once they call everyone in."

He nods. "I believe I will join them, then."

"No need; you can all come in. It's about to start, "Arthur interrupts, coming out into the hall.

We all nod, an air of seriousness falling over us like a heavy, almost suffocating blanket as everyone follows him back into the room. Bear and I are left as the last two in the hall. He wraps his uninjured arm around my waist and pulls me close.

He presses a kiss to my temple and whispers against my skin, "It's gonna be okay, Birdie. I promise. I'm gonna be right here besides you the whole time. So just relax, alright?"

I nod my head, lace my fingers together with his, and with an air of new calmness now that we have each other at our sides, we step into the courtroom together.

End of Chapter XXIX

A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter. Next we finally find out what is going to happen to Carlos and if Ivan will be punished for hurting Matthew for so long and if Gil will be punished for shooting Carlos, so please stay tuned for more to come.

On a different note I have two things I would like to tell you. First is that you guys are amazing, and that without you being here and supporting this story through all of your reviews and feedback this would have never come as far as it has. I may be the author of this story, but you guys are the reason I never gave up on this. I appreciate every single review and I reply to every single one that I can. I love every one that I get, the ones that are short and sweet to the ones that are long paragraphs and even the really silly ones. Each and every one of them is so incredibly special to me, you have no idea. So thank youi to all of my readers. To everyone who has ever reviewed, to those who reviewed once, to those who review with each chapter, and to those who've never reviewed at all. You are all so amazing and wonderful and this story would not be possible without you. You have my utmost thanks.

Second, I wanted to share a wonderful bit of news with you guys. I now have an amazing and beautiful Girlfriend. You guys mean a lot to me and I wanted to share that with you. So yeah that's it. I look forward to all your reviews and look forward to bringing you more. Just letting you all know also the chapter after this one will be the last one, I have however written an Epilogue. That one might take a while to get out because it is very long. But yeah only two more to go then this will finally be over. It's been an amazing journey to write this and I look forward to seeing it through to the very end.

As always a word from my fantastic Beta Sakura414:

Wow... twenty-nine chapters and I still haven't figured out what to say in these things. Socially awkward beta is socially awkward... =.=

You're still awesome cause you're my socially awkward beta.

Until next time my dears.

Wolf-chan out


	30. Chapter 30: An End at Last

A/N: Hallo mein leiblings. Well here we are, the last chapter. Now there will be an epilogue so don't worry, it's not over just yet. I'm so glad that you all have put up with me for so long. I can be really annoying and weird but you all for some reason love this story and if you guys are happy then I am. Okay so you guys have waited long enough for this chapter I'll shut up now and get right to it.

Here's chapter 30. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, I only strive to make HimaPapa proud.

Chapter XXX

Matthew's POV

Bear and I enter the courtroom and take our seats on the front bench with Al and Ivan, behind the table where Dad, Papa, and Gilbert's grandfather sit with our lawyer. There's quite a bit of fidgeting and fussing before the courtroom settles. The bailiff brings in Carlos to sit at the defendant's table next to the lawyer with whom the court had provided him. He's in a wheelchair, since his legs aren't yet healed fully, and he has handcuffs on. Gil and Al tense and glare at him venomously. I give Gil's hand a squeeze and can feel him relax a bit, or at least try to. He turns to me,smiles, and kisses my forehead gently.

"Don't worry, Birdie. I promise, I'm not gonna do anything rash," he assures me.

I smile back at him, replying, "I know, Bear."

"All stand for the Honorable Judge Honda," the balliff calls. The entire court room stands as the small Japanese man takes his seat at the front of the room. There are a few moments of more fussing as everyone sits back down and the jury enters, taking their own seats in the jury's box.

Judge Honda smacks the gavel against the table and says, "I call this court to order. When we left last night, the jury was asked to examine all of the evidence that has been presented to them and to come to a verdict of whether or not Carlos Machado is guilty of the crimes for which he is being convicted. These crimes are as follows: the physical, sexual, and emotional harassment of Matthew Bonnafoy-Kirkland, the manipulation of Ivan Braginski, the assault of Matthew Bonnafoy-Kirkland, and the assault and attempted murder of Gilbert Beilschmidt. Due to the request of the Bonnafoy-Kirkland and Beilschmidt families, no charges have been placed against Mr. Braginski for his involvement in the harassment of Matthew on the grounds that he was being controlled by the manipulative influence of Mr. Machado. Has the jury reached a verdict?"

A man from the jury stands and responds, "Yes, Your Honor. The jury has reached a verdict."

The woman seated beside him hands him a piece of paper. The air of the courtroom is tense with anxiety and anticipation as we wait for him to read it aloud. He thanks her and clears his throat, reading, "The jury finds Carlos Machado guilty of all charges placed against him."

A cheer of joy and relief rings through the courtroom, but I know that it's not quite over yet. The judge still needs to announce the punishment that will be placed on Carlos. Gilbert and I sit perfectly clear in anticipation as the judge smacks his gavel on the table calling the court to order.

When silence has once again fallen over the room, the judge turns to Carlos and asks, "Do you have anything you wish to say before your punishment is announced?"

My cousin raises his head so that his eyes meet the judge's before he turns his gaze around to look at me. "Yes, Your Honor. I do. Matthew, I hope you have a good and happy life, but know this…no matter how much time passes, no matter how far away you run…I will always follow. Every time you look down at your scars, you will be reminded of me. You will forever be forced bear the marks I've left on you! You will never escape me, no matter how hard you try!"

He screams the last part at me and I shrink back against Gilbert's side as the force of Carlos' glare seems to press down on me. Cries of outrage fill the courtroom at his words. Gilbert puts his arm around me, pulling me tight against him as a sound similar to a growl rumbles deep in his chest. I grab his hand tightly, squeezing it, and feel him relax a bit, though his arm keeps me pressed close to him.

Once the judge and bailiff are able to return order and quiet to the room, the judge turns back to Carlos and speaks in a strong voice that, seeing his small frame, you wouldn't think he could command.

"Carlos Machado, for your crimes against Matthew Bonnafoy-Kirkland and Ivan Braginski, for which you have been found guilty on all accounts, I hereby sentence you to life in prison, with no chance of parole. You are to be placed in solitary confinement and will have no other contact with another human outside of the officers who will bring you food for the rest of your natural life."

Judge Honda slams his gavel down. The loud cracking sound of wood on wood rings out through the utter silence of the courtroom, like the final nail being driven home in a coffin, symbolizing the long awaited end. A sense of relief, so pure, so strong, that no words can fully describe it fills me up, and with it comes a sense of freedom and joy that I haven't felt in over a decade.

As a cheer erupts throughout the courtroom, silent tears fill my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. Everyone is on their feet, overjoyed and celebrating. Gil turns to me, joy filling his face while my own is full of shock. He kneels down so that he's level with my eyes.

Bright crimson stares into violet as he says, "Birdie…are you okay?"

Worry is evident in his voice as he speaks. It brings a smile to my lips, and I reply, my voice barely a hint of a whisper, "It's over, Bear. It's finally over."

He returns the smile and brings his unhurt hand up to cup my cheek, his thumb gently brushing away my tears.

"Yeah, it is, Birdie. You're finally free. You won't ever have to worry about him, or anyone for that matter, hurting you ever again."

Happiness bubbles up inside me, forcing a small giggle from my lips. Before I can stop myself, I'm laughing. Tears of pure joy stream down my face, and I throw my arms around Bear's neck. He laughs with me. Not his hissing laugh that most people think of. No, his real laugh. It's deep and strong, and it rings out as he wraps his good arm around me and spins me a bit, surprising me with how he is able to do it with only one arm, his other still in its sling.

No one notices as Carlos is taken away. They're all too caught up in the happiness that's racing through the room. The judge adjourns the court, calling a final end to the case. My parents invite Gil and Ivan's families to dinner in order to celebrate. They happily accept, and we all head to Ihop, since Gil declares that we should have pancakes.

We're all sitting in Ihop, eating and laughing and having a good time. Looking around, I see Al sitting in Ivan's lap, blushing as the tall Russian boy tries to feed him pancakes. Ludwig has his adorable Italian boyfriend, Feliciano, cuddling against his side, babbling away about pasta as Ludwig listens with a faint smile on his lips. Ivan's sisters invited their boyfriends along and are currently chatting with them, or in Natalia's case, threatening them with a butter knife. I don't know what Im Yong Soo sees in her. These was a big to do in the gossip at school when they first go together. (NOTE: You might want to look at that sentence again. It doesn't make sense, and I can't figure out what you're trying to say.) No one ever thought they would ever last, but they have, and they seem happy together, so I'm happy for them. Liz and Roderiech are talking about their wedding plans with Papa. Dad is talking with Gilbert and Ivan's grandfathers.

A smile grows on my face, and I relax against Gil's side. He smiles down at me and wraps his arm around me as I rest my head on his uninjured shoulder with a sigh.

"Everything alright, leibe?" he asks, his voice low so only I can hear it.

I nod my head and reply, "Yeah, Bear. Everything's fine. No... it's better than fine; it's perfect."

Bear chuckles lightly, "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy after everything that's happened to you," he replies before leaning down a bit to kiss me lovingly.

And at that time, just for a moment, it truly does feel like everything is perfect. Bear's wounds still haven't healed fully yet, and I still need time to heal emotionally. My scars probably won't ever fade completely; they'll stay as reminders of my past and all that has happened. Though, perhaps that isn't such a bad thing. They represent a time in my life that led me to Bear. I don't wish that I could change my past, because the past is what made me the person I am today; the person Bear loves. There's no way I could ever regret that.

Despite the troubles of our pasts and the troubles that will no doubt rise up to face against us in the future, right now, just for a little while, I can be here with Bear, happy and content. I feel as if a chapter in my life has come to an end, and for the first time, I don't have to face the next chapter alone. Now, and hopefully for a long time to come, I will face them with Gilbert at my side. For now, however, I'm perfectly content to just stay here with Gilbert, happy at last. 

End of chapter XXX

A/N: well, First let me say I'm so sorry that it took me so long to type this. School and appointments, and drama and just so much stuff has been getting in the way. Most of it being me being to stupid to remember to get library passes so that I can type the chapters during my study hall. But now it's done. This is the final chapter of My Red Eyed Guardian Angel. I will have the Epilogue up as soon as I can, but it's very long and it will take a long time. I will do my best though to get it to you soon though. So, thank you all for your immense patience and for not giving up on this story. It's been over a year since I started writing this and it utterly shocks me that I'm just on the cusp of finishing it.

As always here's a word from my incredible Beta Sakura414:

It seems we have almost come to the end of the road, yet I never figured out what to write here. It's been an honor to beta read this story and deliver the gift of grammar to you all! XD It's been an interesting journey, and I'm glad I've gotten to be a part of it. :) Thank you all for supporting Wolf-chan!

So here's to one more chapter on its way and the hopes that you enjoyed this one enough to accept it as an apology for me being lazy and taking so long.

Until next time.

Wolf-chan out.


	31. Chapter 31: The End For Real This Time

A/N: Well, here we are. The Epilogue. I have so much I want to say but I'll leave that for the end. For now, let's see how Matthew and Gilbert have been since the trial.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. The rights all belong to him and I owe him for creating the characters that inspired this story.

Enjoy.

Epilogue

~Time Skip~

~6 Years Later~

Matthew's POV

I sit in the passenger seat of Bear's car. As we drive, I think back on all the things that have happened in the last six years. Gil and I graduated high school a year and a half after the court case was closed, since we'd been juniors when it had happened. He gave me the surprise of my life when, after they were all done handing out diplomas, he'd gone up and Principal Winters had handed him the microphone. Gil had turned towards where I was sitting with the rest of our graduating class.

He'd grinned and said, "Matthew Williams Bonnafoy-Kirkland. You are the light of my life and the love of my heart. I probably seem like an idiot to most of the people here by doing it like this, but," He'd then taken something out of his pocket and gone down on one knee before continuing, "will you make me the happiest man alive and grant me the honor of calling you my husband?"

It had been quite the shock, but I had, of course, said yes, running up onto the stage to tackle him with a hug and smash our lips together, which led to the entire room erupting into cheers. It may not have been the most romantic way to propose, but in my opinion, it couldn't have been more perfect.

We had stayed together as we went off to college. Both of us had decided to go to a college up in Canada, where I could get a degree in fine arts and Gil was able to get a degree studying music. He got a record deal when we were in our senior year, when an agent had heard him preforming at a local fair. That was almost two years ago, and since then, we've both graduated and moved back to the states, though staying close to the border.

We'd gotten married not long after graduation. It wasn't a huge ordeal; just our families and some close friends had come. We had it in the clearing with the old hallow tree, since it was a place that held so many memories for us.

For our honeymoon, I surprised Gil by getting us a trip to Germany. He'd been ecstatic at the thought of getting to show me around his homeland. The first place he'd taken me was to see his parent graves. We brought red lilies and blue cornflowers to leave since Gil told me that they'd been his mother's favorites. He talked to their graves like their spirits were still there, introducing me to them and telling them about our wedding. The last thing he'd said to them was, "I know that you guys are looking down on me and Ludwig from heaven, you and old man Fritz, and…well, I hope I've made you guys proud."

A breeze had gone through the graveyard then. It had ruffled Gilbert's hair, and it was as if his parents were there with us saying, "We'll always be proud." It brought a smile to Gil's face.

After our honeymoon, we'd returned to America and settled into a nice place just outside of New York City, since Gil has to go into the city to be able to work on his CD. I work as a freelance artist, with a good job working at a café Antonio and Lovino had opened up, which they named "Il Pomodoro Rosso Scarlatto" which apparently means the scarlet tomato in Italian. Antonio had gotten to choose the name so long as it was in Italian.

We're not very rich, but were not poor. Either way, we're happy knowing that we have each other. Today, though, our little family will hopefully be getting a little bigger. For a while, Gilbert and I have talked about the possibility of adopting a child together. We'd thought about having one through a surrogate mother, but we eventually decided that we want to adopt instead, as we both know how it feels to lose our parents, and we want to be able to give a child who's been left without parents or any family to take them in another chance at having a family.

We applied for approval not too long ago so that the agency could look over our credentials, making sure that we were good people who would care for the child, and that we have a stable income to be able to provide for them financially. We spent the last month cleaning out our storage room and getting a bed and clothes. We don't know if we're going to adopt a boy or a girl, so we stuck to mostly gender neutral stuff. Yesterday, we finally got our letter of approval, saying that we can adopt a kid, so we're on our way to the orphanage now.

I'm a bit nervous- okay, scratch that. I'm a lot nervous. What if the little kid doesn't like me or I'm a bad parent? There's just so much that could go wrong.

Gilbert seems to sense my inner turmoil, for he uses one hand to hold mine and tells me, "Hey, relax, Birdie. Everything's going to be fine, I promise."

"I know, Bear. I just can't help it," I reply, sighing, though I do take some comfort in the hand holding mine.

He smiles and stops the car, leaning over to place a kiss on the side of my head and saying, "You are just too adorable. It's going to be okay."

A blush paints my face as I try to change the topic from my so called "adorableness" and ask, "Why did you stop the car?"

"Cause we're here," he answers, getting out of the car after turning it off. Following him, I see that he's right when I find myself looking up at the old building.

"How come these places always seem to be either really old or in some state of neglect?" Bear asks. I just shrug my shoulders in response and follow him up the stairs to the entrance.

Upon entering, we find a young woman chatting with a ten year old boy who is sitting on the desk she's at. The girl has mocha colored skin and black hair pulled into two long pony tails with bright red ribbons. She's in a pretty sky blue dress. The boy is in a sort of sailor outfit, complete with a hat.

Gilbert clears his throat, causing both of them to jump a bit in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, sirs. I didn't see you come in. My name is Michelle, and this is Peter. May I ask you names?" the girl asks, turning to face us.

"I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt. This is my husband, Matthew," Gil responds. I give a small wave and a smile.

Michelle gives me a bright, warm smile of her own in return. "I remember you now. You called last night about coming to adopt a child. I take it you have paperwork that says you've been approved and everything?"

Gil nods and hands her the envelope of the documents that we'd received via email this morning. Michelle takes the envelope from him and turns to the boy, Peter.

'Peter, can you go take them to the playroom? I think that all the kids should be in there."

The boy nods and hops off the desk, motioning for us to follow him.

"I'm Peter, like Chelle said. I help out here when my parents come and volunteer," he tells us.

"Oh, really? So you don't live here?" I ask, having assumed that he was one of the orphans.

He shakes his head, answering, "Not anymore. I used to, but I got adopted by Mama and Papa about six years ago. They're police officers, but they volunteer here a lot. Mama reads stories and plays with the younger kids, while Papa helps do repairs to the building if it needs any, since he's really good at making things and stuff. He even made the desk that Chelle was at since the old one was really wobbly and bad."

Peter rattles on about how his parents sometimes help with the cooking on special occasions since they can both cook really well. He leads us down several hallways until we eventually reach a large room full of children running around and playing. One wall is mostly windows and has a large set of French doors that open onto an extensive yard, where more children can be seen running around. Peter skips over to the corner of the room, where a man in his mid-thirties is reading a story to some kids.

"Mama, there are some people here who wanna adopt someone," Peter says, once the man finishes the story and the children who'd been listening have run off to play elsewhere.

The man looks up, and I find myself gasping as I see a face that I haven't seen in years. Lilac eyes look up at me from a kind face, topped with pale blonde hair. Though it's been nearly sixteen years since I last saw it, there is no mistaking that kind almost motherly smile. Said smile turns to a look of shock when the man sees me and he drops the book he's holding into his lap.

"Matthew? Is that really you?" Tino asks in disbelief. I nod and he stands, stepping forward to embrace me.

"Oh, my, look how much you've grown," he says, beaming up at me. "I can't believe that it's you! Oh, but you probably don't remember me. You were only six when we met, after all."

"Of course I remember you, Tino," I reply. "I could never forget you and Berwald. How is Berwald, anyway? And, if you don't mind my asking, of course, why does Peter call you Mama?"

"Berwald's wonderful. We got married about eight years ago, I think it was. We adopted Peter two years later. Berwald's actually in the other room, fixing a broken chair. The Mama thing... well, that's a long story," he answers, laughing a bit.

Gilbert, who, up until now, had been looking on at us with confusion, cuts in, "Hold up. He's Tino? As in, the one you told me about in your letter?"

I nod. My suicide letter from all those years ago is something that Gilbert and I rarely talk about, if ever. It was burned in the fireplace the night that the court case was closed. Tino takes a step back and looks at Gilbert before turning back to me and asking, "And who might this handsome young man be?"

"Forgive me! I haven't introduced you two yet. Tino, this is my husband, Gilbert. We met back in high school. He helped me through a really hard time."

"No need to tell me. Our friends, Matthias and Lukas, told us all about it," Tino says.

"I remember those two. Lukas was my doctor, and Matthias was the hyper cop, wasn't he?" Gilbert asks.

"Yeah, that's them. They told us about what happened. Berwald and I wanted to go to the trial, but we'd just adopted Peter, and he was only four, so we just couldn't make it. I'm so happy that your awful cousin got what was coming to him," Tino says.

"We all are," Gilbert says, wrapping a protective arm around my waist and hugging me a bit. Even after six years, he still gets protective of me at the mere mention of my cousin and what he had caused.

Just then, a door on the opposite side of the room from where we'd entered opens, and two men enter the room. One is very tall with a strong build, short blonde hair, glasses, and sea green eyes. He still has that expression on his face that looks like he's constantly scowling, but he smiles when a little girl runs up to him wanting got be picked up, a wish he quickly grants, lifting her up with ease. The man besides him looks to be around Tino's height with even paler blonde hair and indigo eyes. He also has a puffin on his head, which is odd, and for some unfathomable reason, he reminds me of the doctor from when Gil was shot.

"Berwald! Emil! Come over here! There's a couple here that you need to meet," Tino calls to them. The two men come closer, and Berwald looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"This is Matthew and Gilbert," Tino introduces, causing Berwald's eyes to widen barely.

"Matthew Williams?" he questions, though it's nearly impossible to tell through his thick Swedish accent.

"It's Beilschmidt now, actually, but yes. It's good to see you again, Berwald," I reply with a smile.

Berwald smiles back and places a hand on my shoulder. He's a good foot taller than me.

"I heard about what happened."

"I know, but it's all better now. I have Gil by my side to help me, and that man won't ever bother me again," I say.

The other gentleman clears his throat, and I exclaim, "Where are my manners? My name is Matthew, and this is my husband, Gilbert. We wanted to adopt a child, and we finally got our approval yesterday."

The shorter male nods and says, "My name is Emil Steilsson. I, for all intents and purposes, run the orphanage."

"You've met Emil's brother before. His name is Lukas Køhlar," Tino tells us.

"I thought you seemed familiar. Your brother was my doctor," Gilbert says.

Emily just nods and continues, "I know. Now, do you have any idea what age child you want to adopt? Or whether you want a boy or a girl?"

Gil and I look at each other. Bear turns back to him and tells him, "Not really. We just want to be able to give a kid a good home after losing their own."

The little girl in Berwald's arms speaks up, "They should adopt Lia."

All five of us look at her in surprise.

"Why do you say that, Sophia? Don't you want to get adopted?" Tino asks her.

"Of course I do, but Lia is always so sad, cause the bigger kids say no body is gonna adopt her cause she has funny hair, even though it's really pretty. I want her to be happy, and I thought that they wouldn't mind her hair, cause the tall man's hair is just like hers. So please misters, adopt my friend," she says, looking at Gilbert and I with pleading eyes. All five of us stare at her, amazed that a little girl of no more than four or five would beg for her friend to be adopted rather than herself.

Bear takes a step towards her. "Well, where is your friend, little one?"

Sophia wiggles in Berwald's arms until he sets her down. She grabs Gilbert's hand and leads him outside. I follow as well. She leads us towards the trees that are scattered around the edge of the field. There's a swing on one of the trees, and a little girl who looks about five years old sits upon it. She has a sketch pad on her lap, focusing intently on her drawing, and doesn't notice us approaching. She's in a simple white dress that's much too big for her thin frame. One shoulder is hanging down, revealing a mark on her shoulder that looks similar to the eagle on the Prussian flag that Gil has hanging in our bedroom. He has long white hair that goes past her waist and very pale skin.

Sophia stops a little ways away and points to her, tugging Gilbert down to whisper, "That's her. She's really sad cause her mommy and daddy died in a car crash. I really want her to be happy."

Gilbert nods and asks softly, "You said her name was Lia, right?"

Sophia nods in response before running back into the building. I can see Berwald, Tino, and Emil watching with her from the doors. Looking back at Gil, I see him slowly approach Lia. Staying just behind, I follow him. When he's close enough, he kneels down in front of her.

"Hey, your friend told me that your name is Lia. Is that true?"

The little girl jumps a bit, and her head shoots up so that she can stare at Gilbert with wide eyes. We can see now that her eyes are a pale lavender color, similar to my own. She looks a bit scared as she nods her head to answer Gil's question, her eyes switching back and forth between his eyes and his hair.

Bear smiles warmly. "That's a very pretty name. Mine's Gilbert, and that's Matthew,' he tells her, gesturing to me.

I do my best to give her a warm smile as I sit on my knees next to Bear. She takes a moment to look at me with the same shock that she did Gilbert. When she remains silent, I tell her gently, "It's nice to meet you, Lia."

She just nods, and I glance towards Gilbert. In that moment that we make eye contact, I can tell that he's thinking the same thing as me. This little girl in front of us is the one that we want to adopt.

We turn back to Lia, and I say, "Lia…Gilbert and I would like it very much if you became a part of our family as our daughter."

Her eyes widen even more, if that's possible, and she looks back and forth between me and Gilbert for a moment before asking, "R-really?"

Gil and I both nod our heads, and he says, "We would like to be your Papa and Vatti."

"What's a Vatti?" she asks.

Chuckling a bit, Bear replies, "Vatti means Daddy in German. I would like to be able to be your Vatti. So, what do you say? Do you want to come home with us, Lia?"

Tears fill her eyes as she nods her head furiously. Out of some unknown instinct within me, I hold out my arms to hug her, and she practically launches into my arms, crying her little eyes out into my chest. Gil picks up her sketchbook, which had fallen out of her lap, closing it and setting it down gently before wrapping his arms around both of us.

He strokes her hair and speaks to her in a calming voice. "Shhh, don't cry. You're gonna be happy with me and Mattie from now on, so no more crying. You're too awesome for silly tears."

She nods, and, after a bit, is able to stop her tears, wiping them away. "Okay, V-vatti. D-did I say it right?" she asks.

Gilbert beans and says, "Yes, you said it awesomely. Now come on. Let's get your stuff and leave."

I stand, picking up the sketchpad and handing it back to her. She holds it tightly to her chest, her other hand gripping tightly to mine, as if afraid that I'd disappear if she let go. She, Gilbert, and I head back into the building. Sophia runs up to hug Lia. "Make sure to come and visit us, okay, Lia?"

Lia nods. "Of course."

Emil leads Gilbert away so that he can fill out the paperwork to officially adopt Lia. I crouch down so that I'm on eye level with her and say, "Where's your room? We've gotta pack up all your things so that they can come home with us."

She nods and leads me through the halls to a room lined with six beds. Each bed has a nightstand beside it and a box underneath. She runs to the bed furthest from the door. Dragging out the box, she takes out all her clothes and puts them into a bag that TIno brings in. She also has a few notebooks and drawing pads that she packs. She takes a picture off her nightstand. The image depicts a younger version of her with a happy couple holding her.

"Is that your mom and dad?" I ask.

She nods, telling me, "Yeah, but I know that they're looking down on me from heaven, and that they'd want me to be happy with you and Vatti as my new parents."

I feel my heart fill with warmth at her words. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I turn her to face me. I kneel down and hug her.

"I promise you, Lia. Your Vatti and I are going to do everything in our power to make sure that you are the happiest little girl in all the world," I promise her. She beams up at me, hugging my neck tightly with her little arms. We quickly finish packing up her things and head out. She gets to the door of the room before running back to the bed and grabbing a shabby stuffed wolf that's on it before returning to my side. I smile down at her and we head towards Emil's office.

Gil's signing some papers when we enter. I sign where I need to once he's done. Lia looks up at us, holding her wolf to her chest. The bird on Emil's head flies over to sit on a stand and stares at her.

Emil chuckles and reaches into his desk to pull out a tin. Standing, he moves to kneel down next to Lia and asks her, 'Would you like to feed him a cracker?"

Her eyes go wide and she nods. She takes a cracker from the tin, and, after he shows her how she's supposed to hold it out to the bird, he lets her feed it to him. Gilbert and I are done signing all of the papers, so we watch the transaction with warm smiles.

Once she's done, Emil says, "Well, you're not going to be alone any more, little one. Now, you promise me one thing, okay?"

She nods her head.

"Promise that you will be a good girl, and don't forget all of the people here care about you, even though you're gonna have two wonderful fathers watching over you," he says.

"Of course I won't forget you, Mr. Emil!" she cries.

He smiles and pats her head, giving her a small piece of licorice. She takes it and says, "Thank you, Mr. Emil. You're a really nice man, no matter what the big kids say about you."

Chuckling lightly, he pats her head again, replying, "Well, the big kids are wrong about a lot of things. According to Sophia, they also said that you wouldn't get adopted, and look at how wrong they were. You have two wonderful people who are now your parents."

She beams, nodding her head. Tino, Berwald, Sophia, and Peter appear at the door. Sophia runs forward to give her friend another hug.

"I'll miss you, Lia. Don't forget us, okay?"

"I already told you, Sophia. I won't ever forget you, I promise," Lia tells her, returning the hug.

Peter gives her a hug next and tells her, "See, I told you that you'd get adopted."

Lia nods, "I know. You're always right, Peter."

Peter beams, and Tino steps forward. He takes a red ribbon out of his pocket and wraps it around the neck of her stuffed wolf before giving her a hug.

"You take good care of him, you hear? I won't be able to patch him up when he gets hurt. Make sure to take good care of yourself, too."

She nods and hugs him back, "I will. Thank you for always fixing him for me, Mr. TIno."

"Of course," he replies, kissing her head. Berwald pats her head, simply saying, "Be good."

Smiling, she replies, "I'll be good, I promise. And you're not scary like all the big kids say. You're really nice, and I like you."

Her words bring a smile to his lips as he says, "Thank you. Now go on. Your new papas are waiting for you."

Lia nods and turns, hurrying to me and Gil. Bear picks her up and asks, "You ready to go see your new home?"

She nods again and wraps her arms around his neck. We exit the building and get into the car, waving goodbye as we drive away. The drive home is filled with answering Lia's questions. We tell her about the two cats that we have and Gilbird and Kuma, making sure to ask if she's allergic to any animals. She says that she's not, which is a relief. The more we tell her about them, the more excited she seems to grow. We tell her that we don't have many cloths for her, since we wanted her to be able to come with us to pick out some clothes herself. We also tell her that she'll be able to meet the rest of our families tonight.

Gil and I had invited all of them over for dinner so that they could meet whatever child we decided to adopt. She seems to grow nervous at this news.

"Lia, are you okay, sweetie?" I ask her, sharing a worried glance with Gil at her sudden silence.

"Well…um…what if they don't like me?" she asks me, clutching her stuffed wolf to her chest nervously.

I can't help the small chuckle that escapes my lips. Turning so that I can look at her, I give her a warm smile.

"Don't worry about that, sweetie. They are going to love you just as much as your Vatti and I already do, because now you're a part of our family, and no matter what happens, you always will be," I assure her. She smiles back at my words.

By now, we've reached our home. Gil gets her bag, and I carry her in. I don't want her to get jumped by Gilkatz. He's Gil's cat, and like his namesake and master, is very rambunctious. When Gilbert opens the door he whistles loudly, calling, "We're home!"

Maple shoots out towards us from the living room, being chased by Gilkatz. I sigh and say, "Gilkatz! Stop bullying Maple!"

Gilkatz is a thin cat with white fur, a scar over his eye, and a tattered black and white striped ribbon around his neck. Maple is a smaller cat with poofy, pale blonde fur with a darker color around his neck, a little curly bit of fur on his forehead, and marks that always kinda make it look like he is wearing glasses. Gilkatz stops chasing Maple when I yell at him and hangs his head. He approaches maple, who is hiding behind my legs, slowly. He mews a little sadly and nuzzles against Maple as if asking for forgiveness. Maple nuzzles back, and I smile.

I kneel down and say, "We have someone for you two to meet." Both cats look at me before turning their gazes to Lia.

"This is Lia. She's going to be living with us from now on. Lia, this is Gilkatz and Maple," I introduce. I show her how to hold her hand out so that they can sniff it. They lick it and I smile, setting Lia on her feet. Both cats sniff her and nuzzle against her, making her giggle.

I hear footsteps behind me and see Gil coming from the steps with Kuma following him. He's got a little ball of yellow fluff in his hands. Gil approaches Lia, kneeling down and saying, "Hey, you wanna meet Gilbird?"

Lia nods and Gilbert holds out his hands. Gilbird looks up at her with tiny black eyes, just like he had when I'd first been introduced to him all those years ago. After a moment, he flies out of Gil's hands and lands on Lia's shoulder, rubbing against her cheek. Lia giggles and says, "he tickles."

Kuma pads up and looks at Lia curiously. He then looks at me and says, "Who?"

"Kuma, this is Lia. She's our daughter, now. You cannot bite her, understand?" I tell him.

The bear just turns back to Lia and waddles up to her. He sniffs her and bats at her leg a bit. Lia holds out her hand to him so he can sniff it, just like I'd shown her to do with the cats. Kuma licks it and she pets him, scratching behind his ears. He nuzzles against the hand before giving a sort of yawn and going off to find a place to nap.

Lia looks a little sad at him leaving so suddenly. I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry. He likes you. He's just lazy and does stuff like that."

"Really?"

"Yup, so don't worry about it. He likes you a lot," I assure her. She begins to clap happily. Gilbert suddenly picks her up and twirls her around, making her shriek with laughter.

"Do you want to see your bedroom, sonnenschein?" Gilbert asks her.

She looks at him with confusion. "What's that mean?"

Gilbert chuckles, "Sonnenschein means sunshine in German. If you would like, I can teach you how to speak German. Also, Your Papa and I both know French, so we could teach you that, too, if you want. Would you like that?" he explains.

"Yes!" She answers excitedly.

"Well, we can do that later. For now, do you want to see your new room?"

She nods, and the three of us head upstairs and down the hall. The room that we set up for her is at the opposite end of the hall from our own. It's a nice room with a single bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a desk. There is also a decent sized closet and a large window on the opposite wall from the door. We'd left the walls white so that whoever we adopted could choose what color they want.

Lia looks around in wonder as Gil sets her down. After a moment, she turns around and hugs Gil's legs tightly. He kneels down and she quickly moves to hug his neck.

"How do you say thank you?" she asks.

"In German, thank you is 'Danke', and in French, it's 'Merci'."

She nods and says, "Danke, Vatti." She then releases Gil and approaches me. I kneel down, and she hugs me tightly, saying, "Marci, Papa. Thank you both for adopting me."

I smile and return her hug, and Gil wraps his arms around us both.

"You shouldn't be thanking us, sonnenschein. It's us who should be thanking you. We didn't know who we were going to adopt, but then your friend Sophia showed us to you. When we first saw you, you looked like a lost little ray of sunshine with nothing to shine on. We knew immediately that we wanted to bring you home and make you a part of our family. We wanted you to be our little girl and no one else's. So thank you for agree to be a part of our little family, for being our little ray of sunshine. We promise that we will always love you, no matter what, Lia." I tell her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Gilbert copies the action, placing a kiss of his own on her forehead.

It's not that all my fear of being a bad parent, of the trails we will no doubt face in the future, vanish, because we will face them together, as a family. In this moment, I can feel more love in my heart, for Lia and for Gilbert, than I've ever felt before. I just know that no matter what happens, with our families later tonight, or any problem that may arise later on down the road, that everything is going to be okay, because we will face it together.

A/N: Wow…It's finally done. Honestly, when I started this fan fiction a year and a half ago, I never thought that it would become what it is today. It has helped many people and has made many of your cry and laugh and I hope that you all have enjoyed every minute of it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has been a journey to express myself and to stretch my own limits, to know what I was truly capable of as a writer, and all of you, my faithful readers, weither you've been with me from the very beginning, or stumbled on it half way through or near the end, and even those who have yet to read it, I want to thank you for giving me the encouragement and a reason to continue on with this story and to not let it just end. You are all the reason that this story now has and ending and I want to thank every single one of you and I hope to find that all of you will buy a copy of it when I rewrite it and publish it as an official book. The characters will be different but the story shall, for the most part, stay the same.

I look forward to hearing from you all in future stories, but first, one last time, a word from my amazing Beta Sakura414:

Thank you all for supporting this story! I know it really means a lot to Wolf-chan. It's been a pleasure working on this story, and I'm glad I got to put my grammar-nazi-like tendencies to use! Thanks again, everyone! Arrivaderci!

Now, at last, I bid you all farewell and remember, My pm inbox is always open to someone who wants to talk, about anything. I look forward to hearing from you.

Until the next story.

Wolf-chan out, one last time.


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